What is the most effective and practical parenting style for this day and age?

Question

Lenient, or authoritative? I mean, should kids be scolded and disciplined for their misdeeds and dangerous activities, or should we as parents just turn a blind eye and offer hugs and kisses and acceptance of even the most grave misbehavior without so much as a whisper? Let the run the home and surrounding areas and do whatever they wish, or set boundaries and firm rules that are expected to be obeyed...or suffer some form of consequence? What's your reasoning for your beleifs, and why do you feel this way? How do you EXPECT your child to turn out (hopefully) based on your philosophies? Explain.

Answer 1

the opposite of what people are doing today. it is not working, most kids tell the parents what to do. they get everything they ask for , how does this help? parents should take charge, if you do not want to ,then don't have kids...

Answer 2

I am a strong believer in old fashioned values and morals. I think to proper parenting, you have both some leniency and autoritiveness. Kids need boundaries. When they act out, it is a subconscious way of them saying that they are not getting them. We as parents need to recognize those signs and act on them, and fast. If a child is left to do whatever they wish, then you can expect them to not have any respect for you or anyone else with authority in their lives. Children need to have firm rules and be expected to obey them, and if they do not then there definately needs to be a consequence. Kids apply what they learn from their upbringing to their own life and how they act toward anything , everything and everyone.

As a parent I have made some mistakes, I think we all do, but I would hope that my being strict will show my child that I not only love them but I care about them as well. I don't back down when it comes to the child being upset with me because someone else's parents allow certain activities or behavior. I also would hope that my child will take what she has learned and treat others as she wants to be treated. I am happy to hear from her teachers that she does. She is very giving and also protects other students from ridicule.

I would only hope that other parents would see to it that their child gets the proper upbringing. Society today is filled with too many misguided kids. Parents who were not strict enough or paid attention enough to their kids now face that their kids are out in society running around influencing others with their bad behavior....

Answer 3

You cannot control kids and make them mind. A child will become submissive, obedient, compliant or they might go to the extreme and rebel against any or all authority. Children often have a difficult time becoming responsible if they are being controlled, manipulated or made to mind....this denies them from making choices and mistakes and inhibits them from developing an inner discipline.

Going to the other extreme where there is no structure will create chaos in the long run. Children will begin to feel that they cannot count on anyone but themselves in order to get their needs met and will begin to feel abandonned and unloved.

Children need guidance and structure. Our duty as parents is to not only meet their basic needs, but to teach them how to think for themselves. Discipline is not doing something to them (spanking, taking t.v away) but identifying feelings, letting the child assume responsiblity, solving the problem with better ways of handling the situation the next time.

I think its far more productive to communicate than to dole out punishment. And this can begin really early - getting down to a toddlers level, helping a toddler identify their feelings and solving the problem together.

Letting children experience realistic consequences can be a useful tool in teaching a child responsibility for their actions.

My children will learn by way of example, I will not do something to them that I will not like done to me. I want my children to listen to their gut-feelings, not act on impulse or succumb to the pressure of others. I want them to know that they are loved, and never be shamed for a mistake they might've made.

Like every parent, I just want my children to be happy and I owe it to them to try and do the best as I can in raising them.

Answer 4

A little of both. The most important thing is let them know how much they are loved. This doesn't mean let them get by with murder but kids will make messes, and argue, and all the normal stuff and don't stress about it.
One good theory that I heard about the time of my first was The Wet Potato Chip Theory. Meaning this: A kid likes to eat potato chips and will eat them either crisp, or if there aren't any others, he will eat them wet and soggy. It goes with attention the same way. If they don't get the positive attention they are seeking, they will get it however they can. They want your love and attention and if they don't get it one way they will another.

Answer 5

What works for me is to never reward children for any misbehavior. Always follow through with consequences and stick to it. It also helps to educate yourself on child development. You have to balance all research, studies and theorists to come up with the best way to raise your own children. The most effective and practical parenting style for today is not to let your children run your home, teach and give respect, encourage high self-esteem and have fun. I expect my children to turn out happy, confident and intelligent. I am completely against spanking. I have never resorted to this lazy, wimpy way of parenting. My children are very self assured, respectful of others, not aggressive and happy. I have used time outs and usually I take priviledges away for misbehavior. We have appropriate boundaries in our home with lots of love.This works for us. I can trust that my children are going to become wonderful adults. I love children and have worked with many for years. Parents who use spanking as punishment usually have kids who are aggressive or have insecurity issues. Parents who have no discipline in their home usually have kids who run their household. There has to be a balance. I love this site below.

Answer 6

both, be lenient when the crime is minor, be authoritative then the crime is severe or hazzardous.
when my son acts like a beastly little terrorist, i treat him like one and the behavior fades very quickly.
he gets two warnings / opportunities to modify his own behavior then on the third count, he gets consequence. when he hits or hurts somebody (or something, IE the puppy or the cat), he in turn gets hurt on an equivalent level to what he inflicted. it's common sense.
follow it up with common sense..... i ask him, "you don't like that do you? do you think ***** liked what you did to them? then don't do that again, or you'll get punished again". because of that my son is (for the most part) much kinder to my animals, to my family, and to me.
at three and almost a half, i barely find myself in the position to have to discipline him anymore. he's much easier to talk to and he understands things on a much more cerebral level. he's still a very physical child, he's just not violent anymore.
fight fire with fire. mommy's flame is bigger.
.
now, understand, i'm not a nazi here....
i have been strict with my son from an early age but the benefits have outweiged the pains for both of us

Answer 7

They best style is the style that fits your family. As long as there's love,support and your child's well being is always looked out for ,then do what works for your family.

Answer 8

In between. Let them offer their opinion and take it into consideration, but let them know that ultimately you decide until they are out from under your rule. Too strict and they will rebel (I did) and too permissive they will walk all over you and threaten you with CPS if you dare to say "No" to them.