what do you do if your kids dont listen to you?

Question

my kids are 2 and 3. neither one of them want to listen to me. i tired everything and they dont listen. When it time to clean up the toys they keep saying no! i say if you clean up i let you watch a movie. they say okay but they dont do what i say they just fight and play. than i said clean up remember what i said. they said no. is kids at this age forget what i said 2 mins ago?? Than i say no movie than they start to scream and my neighbor starts to call police because my kids cry. i hate to say no. i wont dare to say no. help can someone tell me how i can help my kids. i love them very much with all my heart. I am so upset that i cant even find a way to comunicate with them. it even hard when i cant hear very well. They are smart kids but they dont like to do what i told them to do. i dont ask them to do anything except to clean their mess up in the play room. they are beautiful and happy girls. Can you give me some ideas what to do. is there another word beside no???

What i do if kids dont listen to me because i am deaf? Cop came because i yelled but i didnt realize that i was loud.

Answer 1

Oh this is easier than you think. If you want them to do something stand there and keep saying "clean it up, clean it up, clean it up" calmly and follow them around until they do it. Or better yet don't let them walk away. keep picking them up and bringing them back to what they need to clean up while saying "pick it up, pick it up". That should work just fine.

Once they realize they aren't getting out of it, they will stop being so rebellious. They know if they throw a fit they won't have to do it. Then you let them off which rewards them throwing a fit, causing it to continue. Yeah they will cry the first few times but oh well. Let them cry. Be tough. Also don't yell unless you absolutely have to. It takes away its effectiveness if you do it all the time. Time out is a good method as well if they understand it. One more thing: always tell them "good job" when they do what they are supposed to. Reward works better than punishment.

I work with children with autism and these are techniques we use with them to modify their behavior. They work very well. I suggest you try it. I know it will work.

Answer 2

Take away the toys. Then there are no toys to clean up. At any age, the way to discipline children is to remove what they value, not reward bad behavior! Stop bribing them by saying "You can watch a movie if you clean up your toys" because then you are giving them the OPTION of saying "No" if they could care less about the movie. Why do parents give control to children? What you need to say is "It is time to clean up the toys now. Afterwards you may watch a movie." NOT "Please clean up the toys now; I'll let you watch a movie!"

You are obviously afraid of saying no, having them pitch a fit, and having the neighbor send CPS and/or the police. I used to live in a densely populated area with a toddler so I understand this fear. However, if your children are truly not being abused, CPS will have to make an unfounded report. Talk to your neighbor and tell her that she really needs to be understanding of the fact that you have two toddlers or she needs to MHOFB.

I was 19 when I had my daughter, and I read Dr. Spock while I was pregnant. She is now a well-rounded 15 y/o and we have a wonderful relationship because I wasn't permissive or strict; I was middle-of-the road and always allowed her to give her opinion but let her know I was boss. I raised her alone until she was 11 and I married. Her stepfather doesn't discipline her and about the only thing she does "wrong" is say "hang on" when I tell her to do the dishes. I was raised by a mean, dictatorial, hitting father and a passive doormat mother who allowed abuse, and I decided to raise her completely different.

Punishment has to fit the crime. When they are teenagers and begin to drive, you don't take away the car because they ran up the cell phone bill; you take away the phone. Remember, you are not raising children; you are raising adults. When they get to be adults, and don't take care of their "toys" then they lose them. If you didn't put your lawn mower in the garage at night, it would get taken away. The police will not come and spank you or put you in a corner. Teach a lesson that you want to last, not one that has nothing to do with the objective at hand.

Answer 3

I'm a mother of 3 and even at that age if they didn't pick up we took the toys away. We would put them where they could be seen so the girls wouldn't forget. Trust me it gets no easier they are 6 1/2 and 4 1/2 and they still get toys taken away.
No is a very important word for them to learn because when they go to school they will be told no. There was a boy in my daughters pre-k class and he never heard the word no and none of the kids would play with him because he was a brat and the teachers couldn't stand him. Cops won't do anything to you if you tell your kids no it's when you beat them that you have to worry.

Answer 4

How about not offering 'no' as a choice? "Would you like to clean up your toys first, or take a bath first?" "Would you like to clean up this side of the room or that side?... Ok, she chose this side, that means you get that side..."

I was being firm, and not letting my little girl ignore me one time, and she screamed, "I HATE YOU!" at me. I took it in stride. I folded my arms, and looked her in the eye, and said, "I'm not here to be your friend, I'm here to be your Dad." Never heard THAT one again.... That line works for more than one situation, believe me. Try it sometime. You'll like the results.

Also, I've never been a big fan of bribery (if you clean up I'll let you watch a movie). Once you've set that precedent, it's hard to break, even into adulthood. They just can't understand why they should have to do something if there's no reward waiting for them when they're done.

Give your kids responsibilities. Expect them to get done. And it's not that hard to get inside the head of a three year old, and figure out what response you'll get in a certain situation, then outguess them and throw them a curve they're not ready for. Remember who the adult is, and keep on your toes.

Oh yeah! Two year-olds have no concept of right and wrong yet. Don't start timeouts until the age of 3 (not that you've given any indication that they need them, it's just good to know).

Good luck!

Answer 5

No. At least not in their vocabulary. You need to set guidelines. Don't worry about your neighbor. She is probably bored and has nothing better to do than call the police. At 2 and 3 yes their attention span is short lived. Try saying okay it's time to clean up our toys so we can watch a movie. For awhile until they master the task help them with their toys. Then have them pick out a movie. Maybe you can make some treat they both enjoy. Sit with them for the start of the movie and as they get interested in it, maybe you can slip away and do what you need to get done without either one of them under your feet. Raising kids is not easy and there is no owners manual that comes with them when they are born. All I can say is stick with it and do not tell them things that you will not follow through with. Do not say you will take things away from them if they misbehave and then not do it. Kids love to push their parents buttons. If they whine enough you will give in to keep them quiet. That won't work and it will carry on all through their lives. The older they get the worst it will be. If they act up, try time out. Not in the corner that's not good but maybe on a chair. Start with time out for 5 minutes and work up to it being longer as they get a little older. Good luck. I raised two daughters and they are now 25 and 20. I still say that the gray hair I have was from them. It wasn't easy but we all got through it. You will to.

Answer 6

That is a good question. Kids that age are terrors sometimes, but all kids have a problem doing what they are told most of the time. My daughter is 13 and I have to about give her a whipping to get her to clean her room. When she was little, I gave her rewards, food, toys, just whatever would work at the time and then if it still didn't work she got a spanking. Kids have to know that you mean what you say no matter what. Try making a game out of it with them at first, who can pick up the most pieces, toys whatever wins a prize, stuff like that. Also, Time out works pretty good as well. Separate them and have them do different tasks as well. Good luck. Parenting is hard but we learn as we go. God Bless.

Answer 7

oh my god please dont have children, you are going to bring up two spoiled useless brats and future criminals. Not that you can do much when they are at that age, but you gotta learn when they get old enough to learn more than a dog could. If they dont clean the toys up, their room gets cleaned and the toys are gone, and you dont buy them any more cheap plastic junk from china. no tv, give them books and crayons and stuff. let the neighbors call the cops, babies crying isnt against the law, after a few times they wont even bother coming over again, and might rough up your neighbors for you too. You also gotta give them a slap or two, that will get their attention and instill a sense of fear/respect. that will stand you in good stead in years to come.

Answer 8

What we did with our 2 and 4 year old is took all there toys away!(sounds mean) When they help clean there room or whatever it is u want them to listen to they get to pick one toy back. It has worked awsome for my kids.When i say clean up time they do it. We also started a sticker chart.They get a sticker everytime they do something good that is on the list. At the end of the week if they have x amount of stickers they get to pick a treat from the store(cookies,smarties) Worked wonders for us.

Answer 9

Alot of the times, kids have WAY TOO MUCH toys!

With that said:
1) take a day to sort through them, some might be baby toys they have outgrown...

2) Seperate them - Duplo in one bin, doll clothes in another, doll accessories, find a way to sort them into groups.

3) An adequate amount of toys "out" would be one box full. Usually filled with toys that are favorites.

4) Put the grouped toys out of reach and away.

Why?

Every couple of days, you could alternate toys...but when it comes to wanting to play with a special toy that put away from reach - can encourage your children to clean up their other toys before they get to play with any others.

*I had a problem with my son constantly playing with his toys in my bedroom and at bedtime, we were kicking his toys off the bed in order to lay down lol. After getting organized (like above), it took a couple of weeks getting used to but I would ask him to put his toys away. Sometimes he would listen but for the days he did not - I had a garbage bag ready to toss them in for a couple of days...this had created some tears, but in the end it taught him to clean them up so they wouldn't be taken away*

I also must add that when I began getting him to clean up, alot of the time I helped - but as he got bigger (3 years old) he was capable of cleaning up, with supervision and support, and even though they didn't always go where they initially came from...at least the job got done!

Temper tantrums happen because your child is tired, hungry or fustrated. Wherever you are ( I don't care what strangers are thinking) get down with them and rub their back, calmly affirm her, label what she is feeling and let her know you are there. When she is calm, offer her a hug and then take care of her needs -

*If you know your children are tired, try not to take them out
*If they are hungry, always have food onhand

Hope this helps :)

Answer 10

Don't listen to them and put them firmly in the room to clean up. Tell your neighbour to stop. If they don't listen, ground them. No movies, no computer, no TV, no nothing for a week. Slowly start increasing it. If that doesn't work, a small spank would be good.