My boyfriend and I have been together for a while, and though we are both at University, and would be considered old enough I know I'm not ready to have sex. But we do make out for long periods of time, and this can get quite hot and heavy, and I just don't know if doing that is just being cruel, because I'm not ready to follow through with it, or would the cruel thing be to stop.
I have asked him, and he definitely doesn't want me to stop, but I sometimes feel like I'm making it harder for him. I really love him, and I don't want to hurt him, and I realize that he's really being wonderfully understanding about the fact that I don't want to have sex, so I just want to make things as easy, and nice for him as possible.
2006-06-11 11:42:48 · 20 answers · asked by Decade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have had long talks about the fact that I'm not ready for sex, and he completely understands that, and I trust him completely. That is not the issue. I just want to know from a guy's point of view, am I being cruel, or would it be worse for me to hold back more.
2006-06-11 11:48:43 · update #1
It is not cruel as long as you are keeping everything on the table. If you are not ready then you shouldn't do anything until you are ready. But if you are teasing him and letting him think that something is going to happen despite what you are saying, then that is not so nice. Since you are not ready for more, if I were in his shoes, I would want to know up front how far we are going to go then I can respect the boundaries and decide if I want that. As a side note - I am a little old fashioned and believe that it is best to wait until marriage for sex but I know that position is very outdated for the vast majority of people.
2006-06-11 11:54:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When you are caught between a rock and a hard place it is very difficult to get out. He does respect you and thats a good thing but just how long have you been giving him mixed messages? Protected sex would be safe but if your not ready for sex at all then why play sex games? At what point do you expect him to stop, and how fair is that to him everytime, he has feelings too. You are hurting him in more ways then your aware of, put yourself in his place with a chubbie and no place to go . This is how cheating comes about and some times rape. Be careful of what you are doing,boys don't always understand where we woman are coming from. THINK FIRST!!
2006-06-11 11:58:20 · answer #2 · answered by vabch56 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh good on account that when the sex began defining love? You recognize i am in a relationship seeing that four years and on no account had a sexual contact though we felt like doing it a number of instances but I insisted that we should not and he agreed.He mentioned he's going to wait till i am ready even though it supposed after we ultimately marry so that is love.Each person wants intercourse however love comes first if he cherished you he wouldn't do that but apparently he doesn't on account that even supposing he's pissed off by way of the very fact that you're not having intercourse he is not going to assist you to shiver in cold so ditch him right away and say him that he isn't beneficial of your virginity you're going to do it with any one some distance more caring and loving than him :)
2016-08-08 22:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by erlebach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he understands your intentions before any relationship before you start a relationship. If you go 3/4 of the way thru a passionate moment and then say Stop! he could get angry and loose control. Neither of you want the results to be bad for all involved.
2006-06-11 11:46:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can't expect to keep making out and not make him feel like wanting to have sex. It's a dangerous game to play. If you keep playing with fire, you WILL eventually get burnt. My advice is to stop making out because you are obviously not ready. And he needs to take a break too.
2006-06-11 11:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever let a guy mk u feel bad about sex coz thts not fair. It'll happen wen ur ready, it'll feel so much betta wen ur ready for it! He seems understanding though u'll b fine jst don't let it worry you ;-)
2006-06-11 11:55:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that you loved him. Don't lead him on just be upfront with him. Tell him that having sex right now is not what you want . If he loves you and really cares for you, he will respect your wishes.
2006-06-11 11:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by machelle6691 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think fooling around without the intent of sex is fine as long as the guy knows he's not getting any.
2006-06-11 11:50:59 · answer #8 · answered by Rebecca Forever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he honestly means he understands... hang on to him. But, LOTS of times, they will start to get mad after awhile, or go get it from someone else, and/or dump you. If he hangs in there with you... you got a good one..very rare.
2006-06-11 11:51:54 · answer #9 · answered by Sydmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends actually on what your bf's like. if u know your boyfriend truly u would know wat decision to make.i say u discuss it with your boyfriend and make it clear and lovingly that u're not ready for sex.he won't feel hurt if he really loves u and would totally understand.
2006-06-11 11:49:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋