my childeren's father died in jan.2006 i've met someone i would like to start a relationship with what would be the best way to bring the subject up to my son he is very protective of me on the good side he knows this person is it too soon
2006-06-11 11:39:50 · 11 answers · asked by smadair2 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
it may not be too soon for you, but perhaps it is for him...a boy needs a father figure though. i say introduce the two of them and see how it goes. i wouldn't hold the guys hand or anything just yet. the boy needs to grow out of this thing while he can. sometimes it last his hole life. don't punish yourself because you think your sparing your son. i think i would let my son know that i am interested in the guy. i wouldn't play him off as a friend because the boy will feel betrayed by the guy in the end. ask your son if he thinks he would be a good guy for you, not a new daddy.
2006-06-11 11:44:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is too soon as far as your son is concerned. I'm all for you moving on don't get me wrong. And the good thing is that he knows this person. So hopefully it won't be such a bad blow. I think you should wait at least a year until you introduce him into your life as your new boyfriend.
I think you should have more friends and family gatherings, where he is invited of course. And then maybe once in awhile have him and another friend over for dinner. Make it more personal. All the while you'll be dating him on the down low, your private life is just that. It's your business.
Your son has no business in your private life until it's time for it to not be a private relationship. Respect your son and your home. He did just lose his father. Good luck.
2006-06-11 11:50:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'd be too soon if it were me, but it's not me, it's you. Everyone is different, and you'd probably like a shoulder to cry on from time to time... no shame in that. I say go for it.
You didn't say what age your son is, can't help you much with that without more information. If he's young, you could hang out with this guy all day, and then look at your son and say, "It's nice to have another guy around the house, isn't it?" See what conversation develops from it.
I'm sorry about your loss. It's tough, I know.
2006-06-11 12:04:52 · answer #3 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is always hard bringing a new person into a family with a missing parent....I think alot depends on the age of the child or children.
Talk your son and casually bring up the idea and slowly take it from there.
2006-06-11 11:44:14 · answer #4 · answered by Gabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way...it can be 3 years from now and they will still be as protective...do what you think is right as an adult...they are children and will probably never accept a new stepfather for the rest of their lives. they will their own lives when they get older. Remember...your the parent...not their friend if everything is as safe as you say :)
Good Luck...you only live once :)
2006-06-11 11:46:39 · answer #5 · answered by WyattEarp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id say- as a child of divorce and single parent. that yes- it is too soon. keep dating this person by all means, but don't introduce the man as your date or boyfriend or any of that. then the kid will probably feel like you didnt care about his father and hate you for moving on so quickly. to you it may be a long time. to him it's pretty much over night. plus the kid needs your attention- or needs to feel like he has your undivided attention before he has to share you with someone. he has already lost one parent, dont make him feel like he is losing you too.
2006-06-11 11:45:02 · answer #6 · answered by michelle342 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, i would keep your son out of it...you do not want him to get atached to someone else...who may end up leaving. Things may not work out between you two....and instead of just you dealing with a break-up, he will as well....and you do not want that! Just have him over after your son is asleep, and go out on dates while you have a sitter! Wait until you know it is serious and going somewhere before you leave his heart open to being broken again!
2006-06-11 11:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by whoanelly00 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its too soon to do that give them some time. Start by introducing him as a friend.
2006-06-11 11:42:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just hang out...all of you. then you can let him know one day that you've decided to date eachother. then if you want to get married...and more kids...
you know...just don't lie to the kid, he's smarter than that...
2006-06-11 11:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by alfjr24 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
much too soon have you got no restrain
2006-06-11 13:41:09 · answer #10 · answered by mysr28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋