how do I deal with my bitchy daughter?

Question

She's stomping around the house and distracting me, making me nervous, tense. She's 17, a mother, and I want a quiet moment, in my own home, without her. She never goes anywhere. She stomps and thumps and scowls at me. I'm tired of having to go out to the store or the YWCA or other places to get away from her. I want to have my own quiet home to myself sometimes. Without her and her baby's mess!

Answer 1

let her move in with female 20.

Answer 2

Gee, it sounds like she has done a bad job of creating a wonderful life for herself and feels like a failure. She is reaching out still for an answer by working very hard by getting and keeping your attention on her. It can become a game with her, to see how far she has to push to see you leave.
Create a new game where you are not the opponent. Find a third common enemy to hate. In order to create a "liking each other" condition, you must work on finding those like (similar) items you share.
Communicate with her about those things you both agree, ignoring the daggers she throws at you. Realize those daggers did not always exist and she is is just not as able as you to create a life for herself.
If she gets violent, find a large boyfriend to help keep her in her place. Using social services would be the beginning of a steep downhill road which will never return to as good as it is now, beleive it or not. Your daughter would be validated in knowing that you really do not care and her life is worthless, neeeding a government agency to run it for her.
Try using "good roads, fair weather". Find the good things in what she says and ignore the hate. Be bigger than her and you can help all three of you.

Answer 3

Start by not referring to her as 'bitchy daughter' to strangers who are mostly kids themselves.
Then, rather than you running away from your home and hiding in places like the YWCA, and stores! sit with her and have a civilized discussion one Adult to another, or even better a loving mother with her daughter. Let her know your feeling and lay out the rules, what you expect from her to live in your home with your grandchild. What you do with her today, will effect her life later in with her own child. Build a good health relationship with your own, and as she too will be able to build a healthy relationship with your grand kids. It is enough that she had a child at a very young age, don't be the reason that will turn her life into constant frustration, and you will be effected with it as well. That is your fruit of your labor. You are the one who raised her, and your job is not done, it never is. Give her the tools to move on, and then you can be home alone by yourself. The baby's mess will be gone, but you will be left with a living relationship with your kid and her kid.

SV, the truth hurt, and hard medicne sometimes works and sometimes it doesn't, So be careful of what you want today, you may not want it tomorrow, therefore, try not to burn your bridges just because now your are tired and ftrustrated of what is going in your home. She too might be very well just as you hurting, and needs your loving motherly care. Just as you helped her to take the first steps and walked. Help her now to take the first steps out of your home, to her own home. Trust me, don't push her. You will regret it later. And let her know that she has to grow up and start walking on her own to build her own life.

I wish you all the luck to have a happy relationship with your daughter.
Think wise of what you do.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

You need to tell her that she needs to respect you or she is going to have to find somewhere else to say. I'n not saying just throw her and her baby out on the street but if she can't respect you in your own home then she needs to find another home. Does she pay bills? If she can afford it then you can maybe try to help her find an apartment and if you can babysit your grandchild while she is at work. Just sit down and have a serious conversation with her. She is a mother now so she needs to act more mature. You should never be araid of your own child. If nothing works try family counseling to see why she has all of this built up anger.

Answer 5

Why don't you take her first thing Monday morning to social services and have them out her on low income housing or see if the section 8 place for your area is accepting applications.I know it's hard and it's nothing like a piece of mind.Sounds like to me she does'nt have any respect for herself mom so you can't think she would have any for you.When she jumps up in your face you need to tell her if she don't get the fuc* out of your face you are going to floor her ***.It sounds like you allowed this to happen for awhile so even if you say something to her now about she's going to brush it off or jump on you.Social services can give you some numbers to some nice places that would take her since she has a baby and they will set her up to finish school and allow her to work and they would pay for child care and give her tokens to ride the bus to find a job and get back and forth.If social services put her into a place she will get section 8 alot faster,and they will even get her vouchers so she can furnish her apt.They will provide all the help she needs for the first 6 months.My mom friend daughter was the same way and that's what she did.And her daughter is now working and going to college.Goodluck take care of yourself.

Answer 6

It sounds as though you and your daughter need a vacation from each other. It is time for her to grow up, since she is now a parent, and as difficult and heartless as what I am about to say is, it's time for her to start making accomplishments that she can feel proud about (and can role model to her child.) Maybe a guidance counsellor can help get her into a school program/university program that is designed for helping young single mothers. It's a tough path that she chose, and it's time that she start considering new choices. As for you, get out and get a life. Join a garden club, or a bird watching, or nature or poetry group. There's more to life than sitting around holding the magnifying glass to your daughter.

Answer 7

17 and having a baby....must be tough on her. I think she has difficulties that she don't know how to express and it is coming out the wrong way (frustrated).Do tell her what you wont tolerate her behavior and tell her that she need to behave like a mother more than a spoilt brat.Do try to work a schedule where a babysitter can come by and the both of you can rest.Good luck and God bless.Your support is much needed by her.

Answer 8

Throw her out , make her hubby work and get her out Im in same boat mine is 42 2 kids ex-con with the attitude the world owes her, I watched over her kids one was 2days old and a 3yr old 10 yrs of fathering them and an FU in return Thats HELL.

Answer 9

have u discussed her behavior with her ?
tell her that her behavior is not to a 17-year-old
tell her she distracts the whole household
tell her she is responsible for this baby
show her how to deal with it and help her around
encourage her to go out to parties, with friends and to school
show her that u r supporting her and then when these changes happen u r probably gonna get a happier and quieter household

Good luck

Answer 10

Tell her to grow the hell up she is a mother and should act right.
Tell her that you need quiet and she better respect you your her mother adn if she does not like it get the baby and throw that ***** out.

Answer 11

Tell her straightforward to get a job or move with her husband some place else. If she doesn't have a husband, then tell her its her fault and tell to her to slowly start moving on with her life by getting a job, another place to stay, and etc. Plus, tell her how u feel and confront her that its YOUR house and you shouldn't have to be running away from it cuz of her.