2006-06-11 08:23:42 · 11 answers · asked by ldimeo3 1 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
cancer sucks, I'm a survivor and have tongue cancer now. I have a friend who's hubby has lung cancer that spread to the brain, he's in chemo and radiation and trying to buy time.
I would say based on experience, the best thing you can do is simply be there, to listen, to help, to give advice, whatever she needs. If she is going through chemo or treatment, she needs some support definitely, one of the best things you can do is make her meals to heat on her own when she feels up to it. See, she will want independence and at the same time not have strength to do much. Take her movies to watch, watch them with her, comedies. Things to take her mind off things even for a moment. Alot of people avoid people with cancer simply because they don't know how to treat them or react to the illness. Just call to say hi if you can't visit and visit her, don't treat her if she was dying, treat her as your friend, as normal as you can. Also ask her sometimes if she needs to talk or share anything, some people can't open up unless asked, they don't want to be downers.
2006-06-11 14:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by Tina of Lymphland.com 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Let her do the talking - as much as he wants; be there for HER.
I found this article to be very good and true. When I was diagnosed I had people in each of the groups.
http://www.cancerlynx.com/angels_bolters...
It is very hard to get your mind around "terminal cancer"; it is a huge set of words. Everyone goes through life thinking that they will live to a 100 or so then a guy in a white coat comes in and tells you that your "demise" is right around the corner.
By being there for her, you are helping him; she will have "lots" of open issues that he want to clean up and she needs to talk to someone; it may be you, it may not. As I said, let her run the conversation.
And remember; docs can be wrong, 2 years can stretch to 4 and 4 to 8 etc.
Here is a resource from hospice net - for the friend of someone who is dieing; hope it helps
Peace be with you and your Friend,
Jewells
27 months and still here
2006-06-12 06:02:04 · answer #2 · answered by jewells_40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep her company and help to make her as comfortable as possible. If she asks you for a favor, humor her. Hug her every day and tell her how you feel about her. Tell her that you will miss her, but that you have beautiful, shared memories that you will never forget. Thank her for her friendship. Stay strong and know that she will soon have pain and suffering no more.
2006-06-16 15:39:18 · answer #3 · answered by valkyria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear of the situation that you and your friend are in. I guess the best way to support your friend is to be there for her, be brave, and try and keep her positive. Also it be important for her to know that you be there for her family as well. The very best of luck to you all.
2006-06-11 08:29:58 · answer #4 · answered by tiger lilly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she recognizes you (sorry, i don't know the "stages"), then visit her as often as you can, read her a fav book or just laugh about old times or people you know. Hug her. If she doesn't, hug her and bring food dishes to her family. Ask them if they need errands run, the kitchen cleaned, that sort of thing.
2006-06-11 08:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by alter_tygo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend time with her. No matter what you're doing, reading, talking, watching a movie, whatever, just spending time being with her would be the best thing you can do to support her.
2006-06-11 08:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by ratboy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the similar situation with someone in my family. I think the most important is to stay normal with your friend. Don `t treat him/her like someone who is ill and will soon die. Talk with your friend and what is more important, listen to him. Let him know that you`ll be there no matter what. People in the situations like that want to know that they have someone who sees them as a friend and not as someone who only needs comfort and help.
2006-06-11 08:35:52 · answer #7 · answered by HarMonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's got to be hard. I guess the best thing that you could do would be to spend time with her, any way possible. Just let her know that you're around, and you care, and you're willing to do whatever you can to help her
Oh, and lots of hugs. Maybe you could give her one for me?
2006-06-11 08:30:07 · answer #8 · answered by Not Allie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be a good friend and be there for your friend. Offer to drive to Dr appointments. Be a good listener. Ask them how you can be of help but mainly just listen and they will tell you how you can be helpful.
2006-06-11 13:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read information on my page. Look at cancer testimonials.
2006-06-16 15:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋