2006-06-11 08:10:58 · 28 answers · asked by Rowlands 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you have some talking to do... and from that decide whether to 'take it' or leave it. However you are married now, and that is supposed to be for better or worse. As her husband, (now) its really up to you to support her emotionally as financially.
2006-06-11 08:14:15 · answer #1 · answered by SunDancer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel really bad for you... unfortunately you are the victim here because she should have told you before hand that is if she knew, she shouldnt have married you if she wasnt serious towards the relationship, unfortunately she made a bad mistake... The only thing you can do is talk to her about the situation and try to work through your problems. I know I would be very hurt in your situation and who could blame you if you just wanted to end the relationship... but try to make the best of the situation, be there for your wife, work your problems out. Go to counceling if you have to. If nothing works, split with her... But I am sure she feels guilty enough for what she has done. Be the better man and help her with the pregnancy. My brother and his wife split up but werent divorced and they got back together.. Only to find out she was pregnant with another mans child. He did the best he could and they worked their problems out. He signed the birth certificate because the father didnt want anything to do with the child and he claims and loves it as if it were his own child... Ofcourse they were divorced a couple of years afterword because of other issues in their marriage. If you do decide to stay with her and help her with the child then dont treat the child any differently then your own, after all it wasnt the child who chose to be born, it wasnt the childs mistake it was the mothers... I sincerely hope you can work through this and if you cant I have to say I cant blame you
2006-06-11 08:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by hearts_bleed_dark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can we say anullment? Count your losses and leave her! Allot of women do this and get away with it but, don't be stupid and play into her game, RUN dont walk. Honesty is one thing that is lacking in allot of relationships and if you don't have that this early in the relationship then its best to find someone else. Your lucky, most guys dont know untill after they have signed the birth certificate that they are not the father and most judges will still force you to pay for the child even though its not yours. Better make sure of things with a D.N.A. test just in case. It's better to be a fool and learn from the experience now than to be played for a bigger fool later.
2006-06-11 08:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by jack_black_91 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How certain are you that the baby is not yours?? I would suggest that in order to remove any doubt and to protect yourself financially, have a DNA done after the baby is born but in the meantime,just keep a low profile and dont give out any hint that you suspect this to be the case unless it was your wife who told you in the first place!
2006-06-11 08:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by mandbturner3699 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to her about an abortion if you think that the baby isn't yours? You'll decide what to do according to your feelings for her and for her baby, if you think that the abortion is out of question. If decide to keep the baby and stay in marriage, then you must know that you will have to accept the whole situation and never to mention that again to her and to the child. If you can't accept the whole situation and you think that you wouldn't be able to stay silent untill the rest of your life (without making her guilty), then you should divorce..
2006-06-11 09:52:51 · answer #5 · answered by Psychologist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a bad situation, you need to think about a few thing, i know that your wife hasn't been very honest with you but is it something you can get over? do you love her still? do you believe that she conceived whilst in a relationship with you or before you got together? could you bring up the child as your own? i think my initial reaction would be anger and want out asap but in the long run i think if i loved a person enough to marry them then hopefully we would be able to overcome any obstacle put before us. many men bring up children as their own and love them as their own. you just need to think about what is right for you. the baby in this is Innocent so try not to blame it when it arrives. good luck with whatever you choose
2006-06-11 08:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by rubytuesday. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a church man? Are you really a church man or are you just adding the bit about a church wedding to add fuel to gripe? Because if you're a church man, you need to follow the example of JOSEPH as written in the book of Matthew chapter 1.
Verse 18 begins: Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. 19 Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. 20 But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.
Do as Joseph. Think on the matter privately. Pray and ask God's will be made clear. If it is clear that God desires you to "put your wife away", do so quietly and privately without fanfare and without marring her reputation in the process. If it is God's will that you remain married, and raise the child, then do not fear. Do what is called of you.
Verse 21
And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins. 22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, 23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. 24 Then Joseph being raised from sleep did as the angel of the Lord had bidden him, and took unto him his wife: 25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS.
2006-06-11 08:38:31 · answer #7 · answered by S V D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't jump the gun son! Wait for a DnA test. Let the "paper" do your talking. Until then it's just,speculation. This advice is given,because,your question did not contain enough information in it.
2006-06-11 08:17:28 · answer #8 · answered by Wishee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know for a fact that the babe is not yours? plenty of ppl have said that it is not theirs only to find out later that it really is. if you know for a fact do what is in your heart. talk to your wife. do you want to stay with her and work things out? you could be a wonderful father to this child who may not end up with one if you leave. pray about it.
2006-06-11 08:15:07 · answer #9 · answered by mommaslosthermind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what silverblack1 said....call the Maury show lol or u can call Jerry Springer and fight with the dude that got your wife pregnant
2006-06-11 08:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by he's ma tru luv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋