no matter how much someone tells me that they love me i never feel loved?

Question

I feel inadequate, and never good enough. I never feel loved no matter how much someone tells me or shows me. I feel pain from my inadequacy. Im not crazy but everytime I start to feel good about anything in my life, Im always telling myself how ignorant I am and how no one could really love me ever... Im always blaming myself for everyones problems and truthfully I feel like If I hadnt been born everyone would be better off. When I start feeling anything towards being loved my heart distances itself... I cry most of the time. Usually when I go to bed at night. Because I have a family and I have to consider my children and take care of them first and foremost. I have days where I just wake up depressed. used to they would be only once or twice a week. But lately they have been every day or every other day... I haven't got any friends. I dont really feel like going out of the house because everyone I have ever met just seems to be to judgemental and I feel like they wouldnt like me...

if it wasnt for my kids and my journal and my husband I probably wouldnt be here... I used to cut and it temporarily relieved the pain but now that I have kids I wont do it because I want my children to have a happy normal life, and it would hurt them, I no longer want to cut I just want a way to ease the pain without hurting others or myself

Answer 1

love yourself and then you will. is there something that you feel guilty about that makes you think you are not worthy of love? don't you love others? then why can't they love you?
I think you are suffering from depression and need to start by trying to get more sun outside..this stimulated the optic nerve. also you can try an herbal remedy called "St.John's wart." you are a beautiful person and you have a beautiful family who needs you to feel good about them, life and yourself. Friends unfortunately like people who make them feel good, and if you are depressed, you can not do this for them. You need to find answers and start seeing the beauty in yourself and the life you have with your family.
1. I want you to get up in the morning and first thing you do is go to the bathroom and look yourself in the merrow and say "I love you" and "Today is going to be a good day!". this is a positive affermation. your brain needs this to balance out the negative feelings and things you have been telling yourself. you have been abusing yourself.
2. I want you to tell your family that you love them and compliment them...tell them when they look nice and tell them when you notice something good about them...they need to hear positive things from you too.
3. Do at least one thing just for you. something for yourself. It is to make you feel good, even if it is just soak in a tub with bubble bath...go for a walk, sit in the sun for a few minutes, wear colorful clothing, eat something healthy like a fresh peach...
My dear you have a lot of negative energy and you must turn it around. You know you are depressed and you sound like a woman who beats herself up because she feels overweight..I do that. look around..how many women do you see that look like a barbie? not many...and they have men who love them and are happy. women who are thin feel the same way...it is a social standard that is put on women by TV and magazines who alter photos of women to be un-naturally tall and beautiful..they paint over the natural photos and air brush them and stretch them so they look perfect....and then men and women think this is what they should look like....it is just not real.
whe was the last time you plucked your eye brows, shaved your legs, painted your toe nails...this is what I do when I feel down and remind myself I am beautiful.
4. Get a part time job or do volunteer work for a few minutes or hours a day..do something for someone else (not in your family) at least 2 times a week. this will get you out of your little world and stop you from "thinking about your depression" all the time. it is rewarding and makes you feel worth something..especially when you get the check or someone says "Thank you so much, you are so wonderful!" You need to hear this from a total stranger...for some reason we believe strangers more than the ones we love because they have no reason to lie to us. One time I felt like crap and I picked a few tomatoes from the garden and gave them to an old man down the street and it made us both feel good and now he likes me and smiles when he sees me.
working outside alone in the garden is another thing that makes many women feel great.

Please don't think I am judging you because I was in depression and I was on the couch 24 hours a day and 7 days a week....I didn't know I was depressed but my kids were feeling sad too.
Get out of the negative vibe...and if you can't...then you need to try St.John's wart or go to a doctor for some antidepressants.
Do it now because you are missing beautiful moments with yourself and your family. there are many people who want to be your friend but you have walls up and they know you have closed yourself off......open your heart and your life so they can come in and see the real you.
when you meet someone they see your expression and they feel you are saying to them: "I do not want to be bothered, leave me alone because I am not happy right now."
When you smile and put the walls away, they will come and you will have many loves in your life. men and women who love you and you will be very happy.
what you have now is called a "Pity Party" and you are the only one invited. it sounds mean but honey if you have any pride left, you need to get on it.

Answer 2

My sister :) She's only a year younger than me, and we've always been close. Okay that's a lie! :P Growing up, she was always in my way! She tried being EXACTLY like me, and it was so annoying! I was her immediate role model, and while I should probably feel special, I didn't! It just made it harder for me, because I had to go find myself a good role model so I could be a good role model for her! And then there was the era when I was a teenager, and she wasn't. That was an extremely awkward time for us as sisters. For instance, if I had a crush on a guy, and if we saw him somewhere, she'd nudge me and get me smiling and looking like a fool and be all like, "LOOK, THERE'S (insert name)!!!" Loudly. Ugh. And then, she crossed over. I'm not sure when, probably the summer before her 8th grade year. We understand each other completely, and we're so close, people have even thought we were twins (although others think we don't even look alike). She still tries to be like me, and sometimes it annoys me, but other times it doesn't. When I know I can't talk to my friends about something, I know i can talk to my sister. :) I don't even see her as my younger sister anymore.. in fact, she's even acted like my older sister (even though I'm the older one, if that makes sense). She's especially mature for her age, and she's always cheering me up and giving me good advice. Of course, I give her advice too, and amazingly, she uses it. And, I love my parents for having us this close in age.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have suffered from clinical depression for quite some time. You need a good psychiatrist & proper meds to get well. There are places to go in every state, maybe every town. I know all about depression. Get professional help & you'll be amazed at how good life can be. You OWE it to your kids to be the best Mom possible & right now, you are not. Feel free to contact me if you want more personal advice or just want to vent. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well you mentioned that you have children??? How old are they? I only ask because it could be a kind of post pardum depression...

But what you have to consider is that you are causing alot of your own depression... You need to try to look on the brighter side of life...... If you wheren't here then who would your children look up to? And other peoples problems are just that....... Other peoples problems... and if you make them your own you don't help anything. Now there are just two people that are feeling bad. And one preson has enough problems in this world without taking on other peopes problems. Try letting other people deal with there problems until you are at a point with yourself that you can deal with your own problems.

Answer 5

I would say that you need to talk to your doctor first and foremost because they have made some very advanced leaps in depression assistance you might want to visit depressionhurts.com I've heard that is very helpful. Then I would throw you into a hobby, like oil painting. I say oil painting because it takes a lot of concentration and time so you have to really "throw" yourself into it. It really does get your mind of of everything! Just don't worry about whether it is perfect or "looks good" just enjoy it.

Answer 6

You seriously need help. You need to find a doctor at a local hospital right away. If you try to avoid finding someone to help, think of your children and how you can't leave them. You shouldn't feel the way you do and you are hurting yourself more than your cutting issues the longer you go without aide.

Answer 7

you don't feeled loved because you don't love yourself. think about all the little things you like about yourself. a hobby that you do well, maybe you read really fast, or know a lot about music. there are some things that you don't hate about yourself. You are your worst critic. you aren't inadequate. you're you. you are supposed to be you. nobody else has what it takes to pull off being who you are. that's amazing. you're amazing. you're a whole seperate person with thoughts, and ideas, and a style all your own. once you learn how to love yourself, you'll realize how much we all love you too. you can contact me as babyjinxx on messenger

Answer 8

I am very sorry.

This is not your fault. It is probably way beyond anything you can fix by yourself.

Call a crisis line in your city and talk to someone about your feelings. They will be VERY glad that you called and can help you to feel better about yourself in a few weeks time. They know who to recommend you to so you can stop feeling this bad..



Also try the YWCA if you prefer to speak to someone there. They've helped MANY people:

http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=djISI6PIKpG&b=284783

Answer 9

You're like me. No matter how much you want to feel loved, and you most likely always are, there is nothing wrong with you really, you just feel that love is always fake, not really real, i feel like that all the time

Answer 10

It definitely sounds like you need to seek professional help on this. Everyone goes thru a funk sometimes, but yours sounds very serious. Take care of yourself, ok?