is my mom like yours?(i'm 12)?

Question

my mom doesn't let me to shave my legs(they are SUPER hairy)
my mom won't buy me proper bras, she just buys somethin like a bra (my size is 36a)
my mom won't let me to go out with my friends as i'm supposed to
my mom won't let me take hair off my eyebrows(disgusted about my eyebrows)
my mom stopped givin me pocket money since 2nd grade
my mom isn't fair as other moms
my mom won't let me eat sweets like a normal child does
my mom won't actually let me eat ANYTHING
is you mom like this?what should i do about her?

Answer 1

Sounds like you are trying to grow up to fast. I didn't start to worry about things like shaving at that age.

Answer 2

Sorry, my mom isn't like that. We all have restrictions, but it sounds as if your mom wants you away from the free world and placed in a bubble. My friends mom sounds like your mom though. I am 13 and she is 12, and she doesn't get to do anything. Like, she and I are tennis players, and when I want to go to the court, my mom usually drops me off, and I call her to come pick me up when I am ready. Her mom doesn't do that. She sits there and lets her play tennis for only 15 minutes(if even that much) and tells her to leave when she gets hot. For your mom, I can understand the sweets and going out with friends. My mom doesn't let me eat a lot of sweets, and I don't anyways because I am trying to eat healthy. As for going out with friends, she might think you are doing something else. When I was 12, I had people over, I went to the movies just about every weekend, and I went shopping all the time. I don't see why your mom won't let you do these things though. I mean you are 12, not 16 and going to run off with some hot guy with a motorcycle. I actually think it is kind of weird that she doesn't let you pluck your eyebrows, buy the right type of bra, or shave your legs. I am 13, and I started shaving when I was 10 or 11. Also, it's actually quite sad that she doesn't give you money to spend. What does she expect a job? YOU'RE 12! You really should talk to her. She is way too protective of you, and you will soon be a teenager with a boyfriend and hanging out with friends, and enjoying life. I think she cannot accept the fact that you are growing up and want to enjoy life! I hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 3

My mum was like this but now looking back on it, I appreciate her being strict and not letting me do some of those things until I was old enough. I have benefited from that.

1. Don't shave your legs, when you are old enough, wax them, it's the only way to go. The hairs grow back finer.

2. Perhaps go with a close friend and go and get measured for a bra, then you can say to your mum that they now reccomend you wear one as you are developing and are the size they measure you at.

3. Your mum will let you go out with friends eventually, 12 is still really young, sorry I don't mean to patronize you, show her you are a responsible teenager and she will allow you more freedom.

4. Don't take your eyebrows off, you'll look permanently surprised and it takes ages to grow back. When you are a little older, go and have them shaped in a salon, it's the only way to do it so they don't get over-plucked (trust me, I am a qualified Beauty Therapist and have seen so many mistakes)

5. Ask your mum if you can do chores around the house to earn some money, that way you learn to be responsible for your work, earn some cash and your mum gets help with the housework.

6. Your mum loves you and wants what is best for you, sweets are bad for you, they make you fat and a sugar addict and rot your teeth. You are better off eating a healthy diet, I know sweets taste good but you want to keep all your teeth don't you? She must let you eat something or you would have starved to death by now!

Talk to your mum, tell her you are growing up and you want to explore the new girly things waiting for you, if she can do it with you then it may bring you closer together.

Answer 4

My daughter is 8 and has very hairy legs. I don't want her to be teased, so I shave her legs for her. If she had especially huge eyebrows, I would help her as well. I would definitely want her to get a good fitting bra (when she needs one). My daughter gets $5 a week for cleaning her room and not cluttering the house and will get spending money for special occasions if she is being generally well-behaved and helpful around the house.

I am very strict about where she can go and who she can hang out with and will continue to be when she is a teenager.

What do you mean your mom won't let you eat ANYTHING? Do you mean like food she considers unhealthy?

Sounds like your mom is super strict and trying to keep you being a kid. I think its hard for moms because they are scared of what can happen to their girls. This world just ruins them and she is afraid you will end up like many girls your age - sexually active and into trouble. Now smothering you isn't the answer either, as you need to learn to make your own decisions at some point, but I can see why your mom is doing it. I suppose there is nothing you can really do unless you try to have a talk with her and tell her that she has taught you right and you have the right morals to make some decisions on your own. It may do no good, but you have to try to communicate with her.

Good luck.

Answer 5

My Mom was the same way. I'm 40 now but I remember having long armpit hair, long leg hairs, and no bra. My first bra was a size 36 C. I just went up to her in just my under ware and said "look at me. Do you think I should do something here". She laughed and said "I guess so". The next day I got a bra. She showed me how to shave. But I got picked on so bad about all that. I was 11. As the other stuff, she wasn't as bad. I had to ride my bike for 8 miles to see my friends, but I was allowed too, I was 14. Don't get so mad. Your still young. You'll understand when you have Kids. Peace out.

Answer 6

I AM a mom. Shaving is ok to start now, so you are accepted in 7th grade by your peers. Sports bras don't cut it, you need your size. Going out with friends is a privilage...where will you be, with who, and for how long, and I need to be able to contact my child at any time for emergency reasons. Plucking eyebrows isn't a huge deal...just do it. Pocket money is also a privilage, it's called allowence in my home...you do chores = you get money. Fairness is in the eye of the beholder...my kids are NOT allowed to have sweets unless it is the weekend, and then I monitor how much, obiesity in the young is horrible, my kids hate that I do it, but they will thank me when they are 30. Anything else they want to eat that is healthy, they can have as much of as they want! Maybe you and your mom should have a chat about this...where is your dad by the way? Contact me if you have any more questions.

Answer 7

Well the thing that concerned me the most was the refusing to buy the right bra size, it's so important that you get a professional fitting because an ill-fitting bra is not a good look and it may cause you other problems.

You are still very young though but I would seriously try to get her to take you for a professional bra-fitting or try to get her realise that you need the right bra size if you really are a 36A.

Try to hang there, I'm sure she only does things out of love.

Answer 8

Your mom sounds like she's trying to keep you from growing up too quickly. Let her keep you as a child for a little while longer. You'll appreciate a long childhood when you get older. As for not letting you eat anything, I highly doubt that. If she won't let ou eat, but yet you have access to the internet, then you need to have someone with authority some in and check for abuse. But I really doubt she's starving you. I think you should sit back and be a kid and let her be a mom. If it's that bad, then calmly and sincerely tell her how you feel. Maybe you two can come up with some sort of compromise.

Answer 9

Well there are some things that I disagree with but that doesn't mean that she is right or wrong for doing them. Why she thinks that she needs to do these things would be what we also need to know.

But my question to you is how do you know that she or you are supposed to do anything???
She wont let you go out with your friends... Is there a reason for it? Maybe your mom knows something that you dont. It normally comes with age and when you get older alot of times you come to thank your mom for being the way she was.
Well lets just go down your list and try to see whats strange...
Shave your legs..... Your 12... Honestly how hairy can they be at 12 and who should be feeling them???
What do you mean by "proper?"...... Do they fit? (At an a do you really need a bra?)
Going out with your friends.... Nothing says that you have to go out with your friends...
Why would you want to pluck your eyebrows anyway... thats just something that shouldn't even be a problem at 12.
Nothing says that she has to give you money.... Have you ever tried earning it..... I know thats so 80's but you do learn alot more when you have to earn your money reather then have it handed to you.
Mom isn't as fair as other moms..... Your not the same as other kids... and (god I used to hate when my mom told me this....) if other moms where letting there kids jump off a building would she be unfair for not letting her baby do it to?

Eat sweets..... Well eating sweets isn't a a need its a want..
Eat anything.... Anything that you want to eat?? Your 12 you don't know what a balenced diet is... most adults don't know what a balenced diet is and if she is doing it because you wouldn't eat right then I applod her for knowing what the importance of a alenced diet...

Now if its just that she thinks that you need to lose weight so she wont let you eat then I have to disagree with that... Your still developing... and your body might be storing the food for a big growth spert.... Mine did.

My mom was like that to a degree... but what you have toi do is figure out why she is like that.... normally at 12 you think its just because she is mean... but in reality she is that way because she is looking out for you..But then again she is your parent, and thats her job. But if the reason is wrong then that would be a totally different story.

Answer 10

omg man my mum used 2 b exaclty like dat bt dw she'll loosen up bout d age of 15- wen this stuff relllly begins 2 matter!!! @ the moment she probly thinks ur 2 young for all this hair removal, or that there aint no need 4 it yet coz there aint even that much: its going to seem a lot more 2 u than it duz 2 the rest of the world- trust me!! at the age of 12 you should only get hair removal done if u have it in excess- which can be determined by a doctor or beautician, if you can talk ur mum into visiting one with you. but i think u reallly do need 2 talk 2 er about the bra issue coz thats realllly important- if you don't have the correct support now, you'll be saggy by the time your in your thirties! goin out with friends...i used 2 go shoppin with my mum bt it didnt matter coz i took my m8s along 2- we all got on really well n they dnt evn notice she woz around coz she fitted in!! try it until she trusts you guys 2 go alone bt then make sure ur responsible n tell er bout where ur going n 4 how long etc. make sure she CAN trust u n dnt ruin it by doin sumthing stupid. i think she's being protective in the food issue only coz she duznt want u 2 get fat- trust me 1) sweets r sooo bad 4 u... 2) ur gonna be sooooooo gr8ful wen ur older n have a good figure....3) remember she cares bout u!!!

Answer 11

The very first thing I would like to tell you, my daughter just turned 13......next here goes.

1. she is allowed to shave her legs, I bought the supplies she needed and showed her how, explaining why she needed to be careful. She was.....12.5....now she hates it, cause she has to do it about every three days...

2. do you understand the sizing of a bra, the letter is the cup size, and the number is around your chest (just under your breasts), 36a, that is an average cup size for someone your age, however, 36 is kind of, ummm, big......I am 35 years old, I am not a little lady (not fat either), however I am solid and wear a 36c

3. YOU ARE 12! get it straight, you are not supposed to go out with your friends, this is a priviledge your earn as you age, mature and gain your mother's trust

4. again you are 12, maybe you need to get a little self confidence built up....why do you need to wax/pluck your brows... wow! you are making me realize, my poor daughter is so deprived....NOT, she doesn't wear make up and I even regulate the kind of clothes she is allowed to wear, she cannot show crack or cleavage (thats boob crack)

5. how about chores and earning your money, I can assure you no one just gives your mom money....my children, jesi(13) and three boys (16,17,19) none of them are given money.....they have to earn it! Believe it or not in the state I live the law says all a parent HAS to furnish is shelter food and clothing.....and clothing doesn't mean it HAS to be big label name brands.....or brand new for that matter......
as a matter of fact, Jesi got VERY ugly with me, and instead of "grounding" her, she lost all of her belongings, except for (ready for this) 1 shirt 1bra 1 panties 1socks 1 shoes 1pants 1 jacket.....she had to do her laundry every night to make sure she had clean clothes......she is EARNING her belongings back

6. Fair? what is that, you are 12 and your on the computer.....whining and complaing about the woman who chose to give you life, put on your big girl panties and deal with it....life is not always fair and that is a fact......you do not always know what other moms are doing.....because if you were my daughter you would not have had this much privacy on our home computer to write such BRATTY comments, why you might ask, I tend to watch where and what she is doing on the computer....FOR HER SAFETY

7-8 don't eat anything at all? come on now, could you be a little less dramatic.....you said you need a 36 sized bra....again....the same size I wear (wellexcept the cup size)....and I weigh....190 pounds.....try again, however maybe that is why your mom is not letting you eat sweets like a normal child, it sound like you could be on the overweight side

my opinion, you need to accept some facts, YOU ARE 12!! accept the fact that your mother is making decisions that she feels need to be made to protect you......take care of you and maybe teach you a thing or to. Start acting like a mature young lady and talk to your mother, things could be different, but alot of that will depend on you!