Help me, so I can help her?

Question

I have a friend who happens to be a muslim.she's my age around 13.She goes to school without a head scarf. from the looks of it,she's a normal kid.But I'm worried about her.Shes' been so sad and depressed lately.I havent heard her laugh in so long, all she does is cry.but she blames her depression on her faith.She says that she'll leave islam one day. but it will stir up some controversy with her family.She's helped me with my problems, now i want to help her. what should i do or say?

Answer 1

Can you imagine how hard it must be for her right now. She's 13 and having to face such hatred of Muslims due to 911. Since she has to wear the head covering I'm sure it makes her feel like an out cast so to speak.
Let your friend know that you will always be there for her 24/7 and make sure you do are. Call her just to see how she is. Invite her over a little more often. Ask her how you can help her, and if she says there is nothing you can do, remind her how much she helped you when you needed her and that you are going to help her whether she likes it or not. Say it with a smile on your face and she will know that you are a going to be there with her no matter how hard it may get.

Answer 2

All you can do is be her friend. Let her vent and don't take anything personal. Her family has all the control in her life right now at her age. If you say anything negative, it is likely that you will push her away. Just listen. Sometimes advice is not what's needed. A true friend will listen. Right now, trying to tell her about a different religion may confuse and upset her. If she's willing you can pray with her and tell her to give all to God. He's the only one who can help her at this point. And if she can't pray with you, you pray for her. You're already a good friend just by wanting to help her.

Jen

Answer 3

You sound like a good friend. In my opinion, the best friends are the ones who can get your mind of your worries and make you laugh and have fun so that you feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself, your problems aren't as daunting.

She probably feels alienated by her parents because they love Islam and she does not. She might also worry that you can't relate to her Islam concerns. You can reassure her that you are on her team by sticking by her side and thinking of fun things the two of you can do...mostly just cultivate your relationship so that she knows she has people she can count on and that accept her for who she is (unlike her parents apparently). That way, she'll realize she is in a safe place with you...she'll open up if she wants.

Answer 4

religion is a very sensitive issue...another person beliefs may differ another.
i would strongly suggest u not to influence her in any decisions, as it is always her choice. do not offer solutions to her. as much as u like to help her solve her issue, u cant. she's 13 and its an age where one may be confuse of why a certain culture and religion works in so many different ways...sometimes being in a place where there are multiracial people would make it harder to understand....in due time she will learn to cope with it.
what u can do for her is to teach her to be strong. when she is depress, take her out for an ice cream, or maybe watch a movie...
let her know that being who she is, is not wrong.
all she needs to understand is without the ups and downs, what is there to life?

Answer 5

Oh my, all these books that are being called questions!

Very simple answer here; Do what ever she asks you to do if she asks, otherwise stay out of her problems. If she seems serious about leaving the Muslim faith, there are things you can do to help her with that, such as introducing her to Christianity. If her family is going to live in this country they will have to get use to the idea of FREEDOM of religion!!

Answer 6

Boy, this is hard for you, I know! The only advice I can give is this: talk to a school counselor (I know school is out, but maybe the district office is open and can tell you who to call). My son was having problems recently (he is 14) and he won't talk to ME, but a friend saw it and reported it to the counselor-now he's seeing a psychologist and getting to talk to SOMEONE about his feelings. That's what she needs, to talk to someone. If you can't get ahold of anyone that way, call the local police and ask if they have any resources. Talk to an adult. Get her help before it gets worse, or too late! Good luck!!

Answer 7

Religion is a hard problem. It's really tuff to leave a stong circle of religion. I don't think you can help her a lot. It all depends on herself to explain to her family what she thinks of. But I thinks it's in vain because she cannot disobey the religion. The best way is to give up the idea.

Answer 8

It is hard to be different at thirteen. Her ehtnic backround probally makes her feel like she doesn't belong. She needs to learn to appreciate her differences and realize that it is good to be unique. I would encourage her to be proud of her backround. Maybe you could suggest she talk to a counselor at your school. Depression is a serious issue.

Answer 9

You cant do anything about her headscarf coz its her faith but its nonsense. she should leave islam coz it is the wrong religion but for you just make her feel better cheer her up and let her feel you are there for her but dont go deeper than that coz you dont know if it is a family problem

Answer 10

you shouldn't do anything , this is the way her family wants to raise her , she needs to accept her religion for the time being . she needs to give it a chance until she is old enough to make her own decision , if she just denies it now when she is so young her parents will never respect her for her decision in the future , she has to respect her parents and what they stand for