2006-06-11 05:10:57 · 13 answers · asked by LovesVanilla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
gangsta dad, you didn't help me much, but you'd make a good gangsta psychiatrist :) thanks.
2006-06-11 05:25:15 · update #1
Hello,
When I was younger I had this same problem. I looked for my relationships with OTHER PEOPLE to validate my worthiness. Geeze did I find out I was doing things backwards.
Finally I found the receipe to loving myself in the right way.
No one, look around is perfect. All though many women and men have cool talents, and neat things about them that make them special, look deeper NO ONE is perfect.
If you have spent many years trying to BE perfect, you are probably way in front of the crowd. But even if you haven't, LOOK AT YOU, you have talents, OR the ability to get specific talents that many others will never have.
Begin to think how our diversity is wonderful. We're all different, each with their own talents.
So, with this new perspective on yourself and others, sit down, and write out a list about yourself of all your good points.
Study that list...is that person likeable? loveable? of course s/he is!!!
If you would like to have that person as a best-friend, then DO EXACTLY THAT:
Become your own best-friend. Never ever belittle yourself. Take up for yourself. Compliment yourself when you do well.
Lovingly admonish yourself when you goof up.
Forgive yourself, and promise yourself to do better in the future.
Then VERY IMPORTANT start doing good things for yourself...what do you like? do that for yourself !!! Buy yourself flowers. MAKE SURE you set aside part of every day for YOU.
Go places YOU like to go, even if you have to go alone...you will be surprised how great it can feel !!!
And MOST important, don't tolerate any one else beratting you EVER. Now, if someone is, or has done that to make you feel bad about yourself (get it in your head) that was emotional abuse. That person is pitiful...YOU are ok, or you can fix yourself.
If someone's else's opinion of you is UNjustly low, then KNOW that you can NOT fix that person. Dismiss their unjust opinion, and talk to yourself, as your own best-friend and bouy yourself back up.
If you're not feeling good about yourself, there's a real good chance your posture has suffered. You CAN fix that, and you'll feel better when you exercise good posture too...(science tests have proved that to be true...something about endorphins).
Someone once told me something I practice EVERYDAY of my life:
First - Look good. Get up fix yourself up clean and neat.
THEN - you'll feel good
THEN - you'll DO good
And then you can have a BETTER day everyday.
First thing in the morning do combed hair, wash, make-up if that pleases YOU, clean shoes and clothes, and straight back.
And most important of all PASTE a smile on that face. Share it with others and watch them smile back which feels good for both of you.
Speak softly and kindly to others. Give up the thing you want most, and that is a little love. It WILL come back to you so quickly you'll think it's some kind of miracle!
To make a friend, first BE a friend
Love each time like it was the first time
Love each day like it was your last day
Love others deeply, and remember to Love yourself too.
That's enough to get you started loving yourself in the right way. Everything else will fall into place after that. You will find that some family that has been a bit stand offish will remark that they like the change in you (and that it was too long in coming).
Hope this helps you as much as it helped me, and keeps on helping me everyday, every hour.
I wish you LOVE
STW
2006-06-11 05:30:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sad to say but I learned from being hurt and neglected over and over again. It was thru my hard times that made me a stronger person. Everyone has their limits as to how much one will take.. When you are tired of being mistreated and disrespected you will stop the cycle. Love and respect yourself first because once you know who you are and that you love yourself you will realize that you deserve better and will not settle for less from anyone!
2006-06-11 12:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by lovely028 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I Love Myself Affirmation
Deep at the centre of my being,
there is an infinite well of love.
I now allow this love to flow to the surface.
It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness,
my very being, and radiates out from me in all directions
and returns to me mutliplied.
The more love I use and give, the more I have to give.
The supply is endless.
The use of love makes me feel good,
it is an expression of my inner joy. I love myself;
therefore, I take loving care of my body.
I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages,
I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly
responds to me with vibrant health and energy.
I love myself; therefore provide for myself
a comfortable home, one that fills
all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.
I fill the rooms with the vibration of love
so that all who enter, myself included,
will feel this love and be nourished by it.
I love myself; therefore I work at a job I truly enjoy
doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities,
working with and for people I love and who lovem me,
and earning a good income.
I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving
way to all people for I know that that which I give out
returns to me multiplied.
I only attract loving people in my world,
for they are a mirror of what I am.
I love myself; therefore I forgive and totally release
the past and all past experiences and I am free.
I love myself; therefore I live totally in the now,
experiencing each moment as good and knowing that
my future is bright and joyous and secure,
for I am a beloved child of the Universe
and the Universe lovingly takes care of me
now and forever more.
And so it is.
THIS POEM IS FOR YOU!!!
2006-06-11 12:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by super_sexy_amazona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to my therapist daily affirmations work wonders. Everyday look into the mirror and tell yourself that you are a beautifully amazing wonderful woman capable of and worth loving. Personally I think it's a load of crap but hey try it out.
2006-06-11 12:16:09 · answer #4 · answered by cynical_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does she hate herself to begin with? answer that and you will have your answer. she doesn't have trouble finding a man, she has trouble finding the right man. no one knows her background but her, we aren't psychic. just working with the information you gave, give details of her life. molested at 8 years old, heart broken at 16, that kind of stuff. get a new yahoo id if you are ashamed it will lead back to you.
2006-06-11 12:17:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we woman dont learn to love our self cuz its natural to love our own self..yes we woman having trouble looking for the right guy cuz we dont want to be hurt...cuz when we woman love we give our own self..we give everything we had and buikd our world to our guy thats why we need to think a thousand times if that man is the best man ever
2006-06-11 12:17:58 · answer #6 · answered by niza_0224 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By whose standards or judgements. Does she want a man or need one. Maybe not......Who said she doesn't love herself...These are issues only she can address if she truly has problems of this nature...
2006-06-11 12:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read a lot of books. Make time for reflection; be with people who love you; laugh at yourself.
2006-06-11 12:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by Merry D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to love yourself you have to find out who you are and what do you want in life by spending time alone you come to realize about yourself your likes and dislikes as far as men are concerned usually you got to go to them first so approach one and see what happens make sure hes single first have fun
2006-06-11 12:14:50 · answer #9 · answered by Sharon S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save a little bit of all that love for someone else
2006-06-11 12:16:35 · answer #10 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋