2006-06-11 02:51:52 · 10 answers · asked by stev 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, Fred and his wife Rose decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
"What seems to be the problem?"
Immediately, Fred held his long face down without anything to say. On the other hand, Rose began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 10-15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.
Afterwards, Rose sat there - speechless. He looked over at Fred who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.
The counselor spoke to Fred, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!"
Fred scratched his head and replied, "I can have her here on Wednesdays and Saturdays."
2006-06-11 02:56:04 · answer #1 · answered by steve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a nice clean joke ... read on...
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying
air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise
cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took
her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid.
Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it
under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of
the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him
home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked,
and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree.
The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that
said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?
2006-06-11 16:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by simply_boring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK an Indian went into this saloon and asked where is the restroom? the bartender said in the back. A few days later a cowboy entered and asks where is the bathroom. the bartender said out back. SO the cowboy went in and saw the Indian in the toilet. He asks how long have u been in there? The Indian said many moons have passed.lol!
2006-06-11 19:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by Kai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was a lady who went on a cruise, she always kept a diary and wrote in it every night.
day 1 of cruise: I was wondering about the resteraunt when I bumped into the Captain of the ship, he insisted that I join him for dinner, so I did. What a wonderful man.
day 2 of cruise: I bumped into the Captain again tonite and he invited me to the controll room to see all the workings of the ship, I went and had a marvelous time. I am getting to like him.
day 3 of cruise: I met the Captian for drinks today, He told me he wanted me to meet him in his State room tonite, but I declined. He then told me that if I didn't go to his State room and make wild pashionate love to him he would sink the ship and kill all 5,000 passengers on board.
day 4 of cruise: dear diary I saved 5,000 lives today.
2006-06-11 10:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by jamesstubbgm8 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once there were 3 priests who decided to go for a fishing trip. once they reached the middle of the lake they cast their line. Once the ran out of bait the first priest prayed to God " God please make me be able to walk on water " . Then he stepped out of the boat , walked on water, reached the other side got some more bait and returned. Then the bait got over again , this time the second priest prayed to god and did the same thing as the first. When the bait got over for the third time the third priest prayed to God " please make me be able to walk on water". He stepped out and then fell into the water and drowned.
The first priest then said " we should have told him where the rocks were."
2006-06-11 10:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by meg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a Bear and a Rabbit in the woods taking a ****, the Bear turns to the Rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with **** sticking to your fur?" the Rabbit says, "No." So the Bear wipes his *** with him!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-11 10:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by ndvsne1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanna sit-on-the-toilet and laugh ... and laugh ... and laugh?
Go here for 2000+ jokes IN ONE FILE!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ComedyCollectionsArchive
2006-06-11 09:56:09 · answer #7 · answered by FlashMerlot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know a house is built by a lesbian...?
Its all tongue and groove and there's not a stud in the place.
2006-06-11 09:54:30 · answer #8 · answered by Justin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q:Why is school considered to be a serial raper?
A:Because it f**ks up our life!
2006-06-11 09:55:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-06-11 09:54:34 · answer #10 · answered by fartman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋