My former neighbor passed away yesterday. She was 48 and has left two daughters and a husband. We never were really close, but we'd wave and say hi when we saw each other. I used to babysit the oldest girl when she was little.
This woman was just the sweetest person and she was always happy and friendly. She'd do anything for you.
I want to send a note but I dont know what to say. What do people want to hear? There is obviously nothing you can say or do to make them feel better. I dont know what to do. :(
2006-06-11 02:39:16 · 7 answers · asked by jenniferaboston 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Thank you to everyone who has helped!
This is what I put:
It seems like just yesterday that I saw Eileen at WalMart. She was with her mom and she looked beautiful! Her face lit up when she saw me and she immediately opened her arms and gave me a big hug. And that's how I remember her. She was always so kind and friendly. And she always had a big, beautiful smile on her face! I can not express how sorry I am that you are going through this loss. Eileen was incredibly kind. No one who has known her will ever forget her! If there is ever anything I can do for any of you, PLEASE let me know!
2006-06-11 11:59:37 · update #1
What you have just said is what you should put in your note. She was a sweet person, happy and friendly, and would do anything for you. That's a wonderful accolade!
Believe it or not, it DOES help to hear kind things about someone you love. No, your card can't change anything, but just letting the rest of the family know what a special person she was can help.
Follow your instincts on this -- you're doing great!
2006-06-11 11:20:43 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not say what you just said in that middle paragraph? There's no need to go over the top when you were acquaintances more than best friends, just be sincere as you were just now. If there's a specific memory that you have of her that touches you you could mention that.
"Obviously nothing" - I don't think that's true, if you say something like that, it will console her family to see their own good opinion of her reflected in a wide circle of people who remember her affectionately.
My grandmother died a month ago, and I read the following poem at the funeral.
http://www.happychild.org.uk/nvs/cont/poems/remember.htm
You could put that in the card?
2006-06-11 09:51:47 · answer #2 · answered by comradelouise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell them that you are thinking of them during this difficult time. It would also be approprate to offer to share some of your fond memories when things aren't so recent or to maybe extend an offer of help. I always make something comforting (cookies, brownies, that sort of thing) and send a little note.
2006-06-11 10:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by damn_sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those left behind want to hear how you felt about the person who died, and you said it in your question: "She was the sweetest person & she was always happy & friendly and would do anything for you."
Try to imagine yourself as the one grieving, and write what you think YOU would like to hear.
If all else fails, just write "I am very sorry for your loss."
2006-06-11 09:56:27 · answer #4 · answered by diane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a sympathy card that reflects what you are feeling...then you can write something as simple as "Thinking of you during this time of mourning" or you can write "This world will truly not be the same without such a kind, happy woman."
Go with what is in your heart and you will never go wrong!!
2006-06-11 10:20:23 · answer #5 · answered by boredgal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that they are in your prayers and you are there for them if they need you.
Keep it simple, you don't need to elaborate on what a wonderful person she was etc.
2006-06-11 09:44:57 · answer #6 · answered by Supermom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you will cherish her memory and that her family will be in your prayers.
2006-06-11 10:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by ladetina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋