Last night I discover porno video downloads on my boyfriend of 8 months' computer. I am realy not happy about that. I asked him about it and he told me that he dont watch it anymore. When I asked him to delete it he refused. What can I do. I dont want a relationship build on porno fantasies???!!!
2006-06-11 01:25:48 · 24 answers · asked by Sara 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whats wrong with a little bit of porn? You shouldn't be threatened by it at all! Its a natural thing all guys- and to be honest with you a lot of girls- do. Why not be supportive of it instead. Be more 'hey baby' instead of 'eww porno's'. He's going to masturbate, and look at porn. Its a guy thing, let him do it- maybe even get involved. You know, 'lend' a hand?!
2006-06-11 01:36:20 · answer #1 · answered by Karmically Screwed 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Your relationship won't be 'based' on porno fantasies, surely you would've noticed over the past 8 mths, if that were the case? All guys look at porn, some get over it - well, they don't really, they just keep it to themselves, which is the way it should be in a relationship like yours and your boyfriend has manged to keep it from you for some time now, because he obviously knew you were the sensitive type that may be offended by it, so don't go snooping to see what he's been up to, there's no harm and it may benefit your relationship, it can't harm it, it's not real, he's not cheating on you!
Hey Ali Wink, that's some bad advice..
QUOTE:"Your boyfriend is depressed, I don't think that building a relationship with him on this issue (if refused to delete the material, it could very well lead to child pornography.
This is only advice, it is up to you how you deal with it..."UNQUOTE
It sounds to me, like the guy is anything but depressed, he's having the time of his life! and how the heck does it lead to
child pornography??? I've been looking at porn for a few years now, My wife knows I love her and that I also live in a fantasy land, but we have a great loving and sexual relationship, porn really gets me in the mood and she knows when I've been viewing, as she enjoys our physical love more then, as do I - so, do I need it, yeah, probably, but what the hell!
She occasionally watches it with me, but not the real filthy stuff. I have never had any inclination to look at child porn, that's depraved.
Sounds to me, that you're (Ali Wink) depressed!
2006-06-11 02:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by Dog-E-Style 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you make him deleted them he'll download some more but next time he'll hide them so that you can't find it...you gotta accept that guys just like to watch porn an there is nothing we ca do...besides if you're with him for 8 months you already have a relationship build on porno-fantasies as you say - so I don't see what you're so upset about...
2006-06-11 01:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Ani♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn used for spicing up a couple's relationship is nothing wrong, as long as neither of them have a problem with it. Porn used behind someone's back,especially when someone you love doesn't know about it is considered cheating (emotionally) and then you get caught,that's when it becomes a problem. If your boyfriend is not willing to "delete" his porn fantasies even though he says he doesn't view them anymore, then he is not willing to give it up! The only other option is to go to therapy together or couple's counseling. They will help figure out the root of your boyfriend's addiction because it's impossible to "cure" him on your own. If you really love him and want to work it out, you would go right? But if your boyfriend refuses to get help, that means he isn't motivated to work on your relationship and isn't willing to change. If you want to work it out, but he doesn't, then it won't work.It has to be 2 people in the relationship to work it out. Then you'll have to ask yourself, is it worth it staying in a toxic relationship? It's better to be healthy and alone, than to be sick in a relationship.
2006-06-11 01:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Lara. I think you already know the answer to your question. You just need some support/encouragement to do what you know is right. It is very telling that he won't delete the pictures, and you should take that as an indication that porn is here to stay (at least with your boyfriend). The question is do YOU want to stay with it? It is tough to be strong, but it will never hurt you to stand up for yourself. Wish you the best.
2006-06-11 01:34:35 · answer #5 · answered by mambaice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? If you're a teenager I can understand your confusion.
If it's his computer and his porn I can't see the problem.
Perhaps you just don't like the competition.
If your giving him ultimatums after only 8 months into the relationship I think he should dump you and find someone more adventurous and not such a Victorian prude.
2006-06-11 02:46:25 · answer #6 · answered by Tiger42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
boys is always boys,sometime you got to face it even if you don't like what your boyfriend did.Are you an open minded person? Just leave that porno site a side,who knows one day he might be forget about that stuff but to be with you always.Porno stuff can make a good sex.
2006-06-11 01:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is depressed, I don't think that building a relationship with him on this issue (if refused to delete the material, it could very well lead to child pornography.
This is only advice, it is up to you how you deal with it...
2006-06-11 01:34:37 · answer #8 · answered by Angel Wings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong in it, it is not fantasy, it is curiosity, for which he would have got it, as long as he is loyal to you there is no harm, he is bold enough that he has told you that he is not deleting the same, otherwise he would have seen it at some other place without your knowing
2006-06-11 01:32:09 · answer #9 · answered by Rakesh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from a guy's point of view i can tell you that this isn't such a big deal, so he watched a little porn... it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you or that he's not satisfied sexually.
but if this issue is really important to you, he should understand that and try not to do it anymore
2006-06-11 01:31:43 · answer #10 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋