I met a man, and we both have good feeling to each other. I’m an eastern, and he is a American, we both have a failed marriage before.
The difference between us is, he was betrayed by his ex-wife, but I don’t have such experience. So, at first , he was cynical and suspicious. as time goes by, my trust and optimistic feeling changed him a lot.
The situation is, we will have our first holiday outside, and he wanna have sex with me. Actually, I only had sex with my ex-husband before, no other men, I think sex should base on the love and the marriage, it’s our culture. On the other side, he had lots of partners before.
I cannot deny, I may fall in love with him, and I am not willing to reject him. but, I also want to have sex with a man who really love me and give me marriage, so I hesitate about it too.
Once we have sex, I may just become one of his “partners”, that is not what I want. I must be bad hurt from it. Don’t laugh at me, it is our traditional culture, and I really don’t know what should do.
And, he knows our culture and my mind, but still have the plan, what does he mean?
Please give me your advice, thank you!
2006-06-10 19:21:41 · 12 answers · asked by sky123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its fairly simple, just say to him what you just said to us, if he really cares for you and truly loves you, he will accept that you are not willing to have sex outside of marriage, and if he does understand that, and as i said before, he is truly in love with you, he might ask you to marry him, but i will take some time for that to happen if he had a bad marriage and was betrayed in that marriage.
2006-06-10 19:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by zombie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he still plans to have sex with you despite knowing your own cultural beliefs about sex and that you don't want to have sex before marriage or at least a really serious relationship, get out NOW.
He doesn't respect you. If he can't respect you or your beliefs, he is not someone who will ever be good for you.
Even if he's otherwise a nice guy, if he can't respect you, tell him to go put his dick elsewhere because you aren't interested.
2006-06-10 19:28:51 · answer #2 · answered by Snippet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else.
You don't need to have sex with him. He may be trying to put pressure on you.
This man has not mentioned marriage. He only wants you for sex.
Forget him, find another man. This man will use you until he finds another woman.
I get the feeling that you do not know this man very well.
2006-06-10 19:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear , i understand what u feel and respect that , yes u should be secured , my advise to u is to wait until u r sure 100% of his feelings to u , if u reject him and he got made and wanna break up then he doesnt love u he wants only sex , make it as a test to c what he really feels , encourage urself to reject to c his reaction and good luck for u
2006-06-10 19:28:25 · answer #4 · answered by EDWARD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything you would be uncomfortable doing. If it goes against your values and morals then don't do it. If he loves you he will understand. If he chooses to end the relationship then you will be better off without him. I wouldn't want to be with someone who would make me compromise my values. Good luck honey.
2006-06-10 19:27:18 · answer #5 · answered by jacquelinebrns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what you feel is right. If you think sex is for love and marriage then don't do it.
2006-06-10 19:27:33 · answer #6 · answered by kissmeximitalian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand exactly what you mean. If you're not ready to have sex with him, then don't. Wait until you are ready. If he cares for you, he will wait for you. If he doesn't want to wait, then you don't need him. Good luck.
2006-06-10 19:27:44 · answer #7 · answered by Kalika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST WAIT, DON'T DO ANYTHING YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT DOING AND THAT YOU MIGHT LIVE TO REGRET. IF HE KNOWS YOUR CULTURAL BELIEVES AND MIND SET AND CAN'T RESPECT THAT, THEN HE IS OUT JUST TO SLEPT WITH YOU AND REALLY DOSN'T CARE ABOUT YOU. BECAUSE IF YOU'RE WORTH HAVING, YOU SHOULD BE WORTH WAITING FOR. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT.
2006-06-10 20:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by Ruben S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about the love. have the sex. it might make you very happy, and it might improve your relationship with him. have the sex. sex is good!!!
2006-06-10 19:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by annette_199 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not ready don't give in hell he's not gonna lose he'll find someone else if you have sex or if you don't have sex so when you look at it what will you lose good luck.
2006-06-10 19:27:32 · answer #10 · answered by lurena r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋