Been married 22 years.....husband has filed divorce 3 times, left for another woman once, and has been a Christian for 12 years now. I have grown tired of all the crap.....getting too old for the games.says he is in process of change,but I am having hard time letting go of bitterness...now as I am demanding his honesty, he throws it back in my face that I am not 100% honest with him either. So, How honest is TOO honest? Trying not to be a stumbling block or stand in God's way of teaching him what God wants him to change. As a wife, what are the boundaries?
2006-06-10 19:19:19 · 7 answers · asked by bacuszoo2002 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I am not asking about divorce, I have that settled in my heart already. I am asking about telling him when I am angry, or when I am discouraged or just plain tired! Or even when I am at my wits end and am tempted to leave. NOT DIVORCE mind you, just leave. What is biblically ok to share with him and what is not? How honest is too honest?
2006-06-10 19:36:08 · update #1
I don't think that you can be too honest. Truth is truth. I'd start by asking your husband what it is he really wants to know and then tell him everything. There are gentle ways of telling him and not so gentle ways. I'd recommend some ground rules going in like keeping your conversation in a conversational tone instead of a yelling match. Letting one person finish talking before the other person gets to speak. Come up with some kind of plan of action to tackle your problems instead of sweeping them under the rug. Try having some fun together and do things that remind you of why you fell for each other in the first place. I am so sorry that you are having problems and I hope that things work out for you.
2006-06-10 19:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by Christy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You tell him all of it, if he can't handle it that is HIS problem, not yours. From the sound of things he is just looking to make you take half the blame for his actions. Scapegoating you for choices and decisions he has made is his way of soothing his own guilt. In convincing himself you are partly to blame he has an excuse to do what he's done and not change. You have reason to be bitter and not letting go, he's given you plenty of reasons for that. HE is the one with a problem, not you. There is an old adage that says once a cheater always a cheater and unfortunately it is usually right. Chances are, unless he is SERIOUSLY motivated to change he won't and will eventually fall back into the old pattern. Marriage counseling is something you should consider. If he won't go that should be a huge red flag to you. Even if he won't YOU go, it will help. A warning though, when you do tell him how you are feeling expect an argument and for it to get twisted back to being your fault. That pattern is standard. Good luck!
2006-06-11 02:59:55 · answer #2 · answered by Sinthyia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
biblicy speaking the only grounds for divorce in gods eyes are [adultry] you will find this in the gospels as well in matthews gospel as well in all the gospels as well in the. 10 commandments as well in revelation.21. vs.5.6.7.8..9. as well in the book of jude as well this is the obly way for getting a divorce in biblical tearms ref,, bible
2006-06-11 02:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bitterness is like a turd in your pocket. You'll get used to the odor, but strangers will smell it immediately.
If I was you, I'd write to Hillary Clinton.
2006-06-11 02:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by Dragonladygold 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the Bible does tell husbands to love their wives and treat them with respect.
2006-06-11 02:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by dbzgal04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cheated on you, you can divorce him, but can't remarry even if you did. As far as the bible goes I mean
2006-06-11 02:25:11 · answer #6 · answered by spenderalla33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have more than marriage problems.
call.
1-800-dr.phil
2006-06-11 02:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋