my hubby is not taking care of me.im 22 years and he is 34 years.always leaving me alone.hw can i change him?

Question

its two years since we married and untill now we have not been out 2gether alone like park,beach, dinner etc.he is loving me but always thinking about his friends, party, drinking like this. he used 2 leave me alone and go out wth friends. i want him to take me shopping, for a reataurent, park, beach and spend some time 2gether but he is not interested in that and always shouting on me like hell, also when we go out he used to see other ladies and compare me with them, it really hurts me, im thin, he says he doesnt like thin and wants me to put on weight.we dont have children yet, pls some one help me how to change my hubby? i want him to understand me and be a good husband for me.. PLS PSL HELP ME

Answer 1

YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM ONLY GOD CAN PRAYER CHANGES YOUR WHOLE SITUATION.I'M PRAYING FOR YOU.I KNOW HOW IT FEELS

Answer 2

You CAN'T change him. Women always think they can change their men. Sorry Love, YOU CAN'T. You got what you got. You never saw any of this before you got married??? You must have seen some of this behavior before you married him. Sorry to say, you picked a jerk. DON'T Have children with him. You're young. You can always find someone new if you bail now. He's trying to change you, isn't interested in you or the things you like, leaves you at home alone and comparesyou to ther women??? WOW. If I had done that to ANY woman I ever dated she would have knocked my block off. Ditch him. There are thousands of guys out there who will accept you just the way you are and take you to all the places you want to go. Marrige should have some amout of compromise but the trick is to find someone who wants the same things you do and not to try to change the other person.

Answer 3

Each person has a will of his own, so we can't change anybody, but what we CAN do is INFLUENCE people. What your husband is doing is influencing you right now, isn't it? So you can try to be a positive change agent in your marriage. The first step is to pray for him. The next step is to try the soft approach. If he won't listen to you, then write him a letter. Try all the soft approaches first. Maybe you could organize a date with him. Do it in a fun way. For example, give him a card that says something like "meet me at this place at this time wearing this" (fill in whatever you think will get his attention. What about going for a day to a spa where both of you will get a massage together. Or what about a fancy restaurant or a hotel room? But YOU make the date and be mysterious about it so that he will feel intrigued. If he does follow your instructions and he pitches up for the date, don't talk to him about your problems or feelings yet. Just have fun together so that he can see being with you is fun. Hopefully this will help to improve the marraige. If there is still no improvement, try to tell him how you feel. If none of the soft approaches work, ask God to show you if there is a "tough love" approach that you can use to help him realize that he cannot carry on this way. He has to meet your needs too. He can't only think about his own needs. Tough love is not about getting someone back for what they did. It's about love. For example, going away to stay at your parents or friends and leaving him a letter saying you are seriously unhappy about your marriage. Mention how much you love him and all the good things about him in the letter, but mention how you feel too. Don't use words like "you never" or "you always". For example don't say "you never spend time with me". Rather say, "I really miss spending time with you and it hurts me so much". This way you are not accusing him of anything, but rather sharing your hurt. Men get stubborn when we accuse them of things. Actually, women also do. It's not nice to be accused. Tell him that he can contact you if he feels that he misses you too. And stay there with your parents or friends and tell him you can't come back until you know that he loves you too and wants to work on the marriage. Or say to him that he can contact you if he wants to work on the marriage and go to a Christian counsellor with you. Until then you can't move back because you are hurting too much. The tough love approach is a bit tricky, that's why I say pray about it first and wait for God to lead you.

Answer 4

how i fixed mine was fight fire with fire go out and make sure your out latter then him when he yells yell back say im not being treated like im married so im not going to act like im married once in a while you going out like once a week is ok but any more is not acceptable, if it continues just wait one day till hes gone out then pack leave a note saying honey i love you with all my heart and now you have broken it i must leave you to heal when you grow up and start treating me the way i disurve call me and take me out and we will see how it goes if i come back and you do this agin im done with you forever please dont break us up love your wife not one of a million girls you look at and critasize ps that will stop also i am what i am except it well by for now. leave a phone number he can call ,only do this if you mean it and will folow thru you diserve better dont hang onto a little boy if he wont grow up divorce him and get a man orjust be alone and have peace for once good luck sorry so long

Answer 5

YOU CANNOT CHANGE HIM, You need to serioulsy converse with him and find out why he does the things he does. come up with some way you and him can devote time with each other. if it is everyweekend, or every wed, whatever the case is, men love to be with their friends as well as party, but they need that free time to breath and clear their heads, it is very overwelhming to men that they have to be with us all the time. Just ask him what is the best way we can spend some quality time together without making it a hassle.

Answer 6

He is obviously not into you coz you are never his priority & he always belittle you by comparing you with others. I am sorry... the truth normally hurts. If you want to give him a second chance, talk to him, get him to go for marriage counselling together. If nothing works, divorce him & find someone that will appreciate you.

Answer 7

sorry honey but sounds like you cant change him. that his has his ways set. unfortunately sounds like he is not interested in you n e more. my ex did this to me. always had time for his friends and never me. and for some reason always had to work late. until i finally confronted him about it he said he just didn't love me any more. so i decided that i was not going to stick around to wait and see if his feelings would change. it took a long time for me to get over him. and i will always love him. but i have a new love in my life for 5 yrs now and i would not change it for the world. good luck hope things work out for you

Answer 8

he is not going to change.... i'm sorry to say it, but i dont believe men get married to be changed by their wives. they are secure in themselves and think that they can be however they want to be.
i'm 27, my bf is 35 and he too leaves me for his friends and such. most of the time, i could go along, but i'm not exactly invited... and, we have 2 kids together, plus i have 2 kids from my exhusband. so, i choose to stay, bc i love him when he gives me attention, and i really dont think i could surrive on my own. but, you should really tell this jerk that you dont need to change urself, and he needs to either realize what he's got, or get out

Answer 9

First of all, you need to take care of yourself. That is what your hubby promised to do on your wedding day, but he is not taking his job seriously. I think you need some marriage counseling together. If he won't go, go without him.

Answer 10

you shouldnt try ad change a person but you can stop and tell him how you feel in a nice way and if he soesnt listen tell him yuo will leave or something and threaten so he will listen and if you dont it will only make matters worse

Answer 11

if you feel that he is not giving you enough attention get you self a lover to fill in the time, it sounds like he would not notice.