My husband nevers says I love you to me , he never shows any romantic feelings .We are in our 40's and 50's. This is both our second marriage . I feel so alone at times.
2006-06-10 18:49:27 · 14 answers · asked by the1flower 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sit down and tell him whats on your mind girl!!
2006-06-10 18:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Many men, as I was, brought up in the 40s and 50s never learned by example of our fathers to say "I love you" to our wives. Our fathers never heard it from their fathers, and on back. It was a period of stoicism and men just did not express emotion. It's a shame that generations of wives have had to suffer because of the out-moded European practice.
The only thing that came of it that was good is that this stoic way of being helped our parents get through very difficult times, just as it did their forefathers. They went through the Great Depression, their forefathers through plagues and famines and other hardships. If we could unlearn the inbred ways of our fathers, I know, we as men would be better off.
It may then not be a sign of his lack of love, but rather your husband's way of thinking or acting from example. If you could bring it to his attention and express what you would like and why, possibly he will see what it means to you and will be more sensitive. However, If you feel so alone, it seems there is more at play than his slighting you with these words.
Since I've been aware of this fact about the need to say I love you, I have tried to say it more readily, surprising my wife sometimes while she's making supper, or while we're watching TV. I must admit, I've gotten away from this little gesture of affection of late and will have to renew it myself.
2006-06-11 02:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nightwriter21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men have "mother complex" This makes hard on them to say to a woman that he loves her. Besides men are timid, they have been in the arms of the mother all their lives, and they take time to understand this majic relationship when they grow. It is the woman who convince him, and make him feel good to express his feelings towards her. "I love you" are the words which do not count. The important thing is the "feeling". Grab the oppourtnity that wait for these 3 words. It is well said that woman does not have confidence in herself [even in this situation, and waits to hear 3 words, and wastes time in her life].
Best Wishes!
SunderThadani.
mailto:sunder360@yahoo.com
2006-06-11 02:01:59 · answer #3 · answered by sunder360 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you actually sat down and told your husband how you feel? Guys aren't as emotional, and lovey dovey as women tend to get! Guys are all macho, and hard and they don't want to let down that guard for anyone, and to some women are like that also, it really just depends on the person. If I were you I would sit my husband down and talk to him, and I'm sure you knew that he was like this before you married him.
2006-06-11 01:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by babyg_co07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ..here is what my father told me ...back in the day...men were taught not to show emotions...men were to be tuff..rough...they were not to cry ...etc...since those days..some men ..due to single moms raising children..have become a little more sensitive. however...when and if they show this side...their buddies ridicule them for it..so they shut down again.
so ..ask him..after so many years of marraige im sure u communicate..communication ..is the key to find answers !!!
2006-06-11 02:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how u feel. some people just assume u know it and feel like that they don't have to say it that much. just tell him that u do feel alone sometimes, and that u still need to feel and hear the love
2006-06-11 02:41:49 · answer #6 · answered by thundakat312 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that some men may care but may not care as much as U cause when you love some one it wont matter where you are or who your with he will express his love to U good luck.
2006-06-11 01:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by lurena r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one is perfect. For some people it is difficult for them to express their feelings even to their partners. I believe the important thing is that he or she should show his or her love more than say it. It's easy to say and it'll be meaningful to show!
2006-06-11 01:55:20 · answer #8 · answered by Sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep telling him you love him
make the bugger feel ashamed for being so callous to you.
one day he'll erupt and maybe come out with why he has been hiding his affection.
2006-06-11 01:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bcoz most men arent as expressive as women.. but when they do say it, they really mean it...
when i 1st said i luv u 2 my babe, he didnt reply.. but then when he said it, a week later, he really meant it..
he said he needed 2b sure 100% of his feelings b4 he say those words
2006-06-11 03:00:37 · answer #10 · answered by 2D1iLuV 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you would need to communicate with each other about this. If that doesn't work then seek marital counselling.
2006-06-11 01:54:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋