What should I do?

Question

My girl friend and I want to adopt a child, but we are worried that he or she may have traumatic experience in life. What shold I do?

Answer 1

Did you ever have a traumatic experience in your life? Do you think your parents should have been tossed out of your existence because of it?

Traumatic things happen. It's not possible, it's pretty much inevitable. Your job as a parent, in very large part, is to be there to help the child recover and continue to have a healthy life.

If you and your girlfriend think you're truly ready to do that, then chances are there is a child out there who greatly needs you and wants your love, so I say go adopt and live the best life you can.

Answer 2

I wouldnt fret on that to much. I would just think of how much better his or her life will be with you and how you can help him or her over come that traumatic experience. You could always try going for an infant, would be less likely to have had atraumatic experience the younger they are, and if they did more than likely wont remember it.
If I were you two I would stop being worried and think about how great it will feel to be parents. All the good stuff you can do for the child and how you can provide for him/her... getting a child is the best part of life.. weather adopted or biological it shouldnt be anything to be worried over...
besides it cant be that hard, my husband had a traumatic experience when he was young and then was adopted by his now parents and they didnt have any trouble with him or his biologival sister... they were just happy to have a family and course with any kid your going to encounter problems but they will work them selfs out in the long run...

Answer 3

I have heard meany positive stories of gay/lesbian adoptions. There are of course people on the other side of the issue that don't believe that you should have the right to raise a child but there are so many children out there that need loving parents, and if they don't get that how traumatic do you think that could be? Try an online support group. The second link is one, that may really help, to hear other sides than the traumatic experiance stuff.

http://www.adoptions.com/gaylez.html
http://www.adoptionforumsonline.com/

Answer 4

what exactly do you mean, do you mean you are worried the child may have had a traumatic experience before it came to you? or that you will in some way cause a traumatic experience, or just in general? because in general, everyone has bad experiences, it is part of life, it is what makes us grow and what makes us interesting. if you feel you will cause a bad experience, if this is a real concern for some reason, then maybe you shouldn't adopt. but i think you will try your best not to let to many bad things happen to your child. and if you are worried about them coming to you with something in their past, if you are good parents and love the child lots, then you can help them through whatever it is. people don't have to be ruined by bad experiences if they are handled with compassion. and children are amazingly resilient.

Answer 5

You could have a biological child and that child have a traumatic life as well. Children in need of adoption often times comes with some trauma. You need to be ready to put up with the trauma if you want the child in your life. There is no gurantee that there will be none..just because it is showing none now-whose to say memories wont happen later.

Answer 6

Hell no never do it for its very wrong

Ask your self this would you like to grow up with 2 female parent if so where would the father be in this from discipline...not that woman cant to that but a man can help a lot more in many area's than a woman can. And the same goes for the Guys too I know I would never like that for it would dramatically hurt the kid in school and you and your partner couldn't do much if he/ she need a man instead of a woman if this factor.

I'm sorry to put it all like this BUT we all understand the full truth in this but we don't want to look at it head on SO go ahead and say something about to me.

Answer 7

Everyone will have a traumtic experience in life, if you adopt a child they will grow to love you, some people very close to me who are gay/ lesbian have adopted a child, and the child is fine, the child will be happy to have parents, and it doeesn't matter to them if your different because everyone is differeent

Answer 8

i think u should adopt the child, it'll not be traumatic 4 him/her if u give her proper attention and care, don't hide the fact that he/she has been adopted by u, it'll give him/her a new life , happiness and all the normalcy in the world that it longed 4.

a very noble suggestion.

Answer 9

Most people have at least one traumatic experience in their life, not matter what. Why would you worry so much?

Answer 10

It's true that the possibility esists. If you can adopt a baby that possibility would be lessened. However, the love that you provide can make a huge difference in somebody's liffe so don't let this discourage you.