Why can't I ever get myself to go out and try to meet people? Every time i try, I get sick and can't breath. The anxiety hits me so hard I can barely move. How can I get over this? I don't know what to do. If anybody has any help or suggestions, please tell me. I want to be able to meet somebody and go on dates, but every single time I try, I chicken out. I've always been very shy but never this bad. I don't find myself attractive really at all, at least not in a first impression type of way. I'm not good looking and I don't really have a whole lot to talk about that the average person would find interesting. But im a nice guy and Im honest and caring. But I'm always so scared that because I'm not good looking and inittialy im kinda boring that nobody will want to speak to me. Please if anybody could help me I would appreciate it.
2006-06-10 17:42:50 · 23 answers · asked by hepliin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've tried seeing a doctor and am on medication and have tried several others. I have also been seeing a psychologist for about 6 months or so. None of it seems to be doing anything. I just keep getting worse and worse.
2006-06-10 17:48:08 · update #1
You are asking if what's wrong with you, well, let me tell you this, you don't have self confidence, you don't believe in the power of yourself, you are insecure, and lack of self determination. What you're gonna do?,,, You lack these things and you need to develop these with you. Nobody could help you but yourself. Try to overcome those things that you are scared of. Face it!!! The more you escape from it, the more you won't overcome it. Good luck
2006-06-10 17:50:43 · answer #1 · answered by sweethonesty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I read your question and checked out your 360 and have come to the conclusion that you are not giving yourself enough credit. You are making assumptions about yourself. You claim that you won't have a whole lot to talk about that the average person would find interesting. That is a false belief. For all the negative things you have mentioned about yourself you did state three positive things, your a nice guy,honest and caring. Your anxiety, no surprise to you I'm sure, is stemming from your negative beliefs about yourself. You believe it so much that you think how you feel about yourself is what the people who meet you will see. When in reality you don't know what these people are thinking and 9 times out of ten if you are nice and friendly people will be the same with you.
2006-06-11 01:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by mia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good way to get over some shyness is to take baby steps. Try doing small things which are out of your comfort zone and would normally make you uncomfortable. An example would be talking to other people... People you wouldn't want to date, so then that added pressure and fear of rejection is not there. It doesn't even have to be a lengthy conversation, but simply an exchange of hellos or giving a compliment... Interacting with people in a way that might have made you nervous before.
Also, self confidence is a must (I too suffer in this department, but just remember that most people do, to some degree, no matter how beautiful you may think they are). Make mental notes of your best features, both physically and in your personality. Focus on these positive attributes and allow your attitude of yourself to change. And a good way to meet people is to find hobbies that interest you. That way when you're trying to meet someone, you can find a person who shares common interests so that you have something to talk about.
2006-06-11 00:59:06 · answer #3 · answered by Mary S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have inferiority complex which is a kind of social problem. You keep on saying about how you see yourself as a no-good person in terms of looks and smartness. In stead of feeling that way, why not try to analyze what good qualities you have which others may not have? That way, you'll be able to gain self confidence which is lacking in you right now. With self confidence and determination to be a very likable person by improving the negative aspects of your personality, the next time you go out, you will not feel the same way again. Always remember that there is no one who is perfect. I'm sure you have good qualities that others don't have and vise versa. But that is life. God created all of us equal in His eyes but not in the eyes of men. I'm sure, someone out there will take you as you are no matter how you rate yourself. So don't have second thoughts in going out with girls and be sure that when you do, you already have gained that self confidence you need right now. But not to the extent, of course, of being over confident because some people take that for arrogance. Too much of anything is not good. But as I have said, you have to believe in yourself. You have to see yourself even just as equal with those around you. And everything that you are dreaming about to do and feel which you were not able to experience before will just be a hairlength away. Smile.
2006-06-11 00:58:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's Counceling, You Can Look In A Mirror, Or You Can Try To Pretend That You've Known These People For Years. It Normally Helps Me. And Based On Your Picture, You Look A Lot Better Than I Do. I'm A Pimple Faced, Fat 13-Year Old.
2006-06-11 00:48:12 · answer #5 · answered by person 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem that u have still do but I am working on it. Everytime I would think about facing people I would start to get nervous. I just try to tell myself that these are people just like myself, what can they do to me that I cant do also?
Who says u are not good looking. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I dont think u should say u r not good looking.
I am shy too but we only get one life, dont get to be 60 years old, and have any regrets about the way u lived ur life.
People are not as judgemental as we like to think give them a chance before u assume that they are gonna judge, and dislike u.
2006-06-11 00:53:25 · answer #6 · answered by Sher-Sher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to have that trouble, i was so shy and never thought anyone wanted to talk or hear what i had to say. but then i relized that if i ever wanted to get over that i would need to take some drastic steps and just try and not care so much and to not think about it. just get out there and have some fun, be yourself and im sure that someone will come along that can you can have a lot of fun with. i got over being so shy and i know you can too! good luck.
2006-06-11 00:50:56 · answer #7 · answered by wonderin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you seem very nice and quite normal. The right girl will come along and she will accept you for who you are. Maybe forcing yourself to go out is not a good thing. When you are out (getting groceries, gas etc...) hit on a girl you think is cute. But don't go out to specificly to meet a girl.The time will come, but if you force it things will seem awkward. I'm sure you catch girls attention with that car of yours! So take some control of the situation. Just relax and ask any girl out...what does it hurt! You must fail before you can succedd! Good luck to you!
2006-06-11 00:52:42 · answer #8 · answered by Blondie98_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you are hung up on your looks. Looks are not everything in a relationship ya know. Maybe to help with the anxiety you can try those online dating sites. That way you can at least talk to someone online and maybe on the phone before you meet.
2006-06-11 00:47:55 · answer #9 · answered by Charissa D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K stop the "I'm not good looking" thing you think it you are it stop looking in the mirror for a week ( I mean studying) get a mental image of you re self ( good looking) get that attitude and MOST OF ALL don't go out LOOKING for woman go out to have a good time when you don't look desperate and you look happy and content THAT'S when woman notice you every guy i ever dated was hit on more when we were dating and they weren't looking
2006-06-11 00:53:55 · answer #10 · answered by frogger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋