I am deeply devestated by this...she actually handed a family member an invitation in front of me...I did not receive a verbal or written invitation. "Julie" has always been my favorite niece and I her favorite Aunt, besides the last three years we have always had a special bond...The entire family dynamics has taken a turn for the worst in the last three years and some how I have been blamed and accused for some of the problems that have been going on...I have been the only stable one in our famliy and have never been involved in the family's cruel ways... "Julie's" father (my brother--we have a mutual destain for eachother) has a magnetic influence on "Julie" and is cruel, verbally abusive, manipulative and intimidating. As a result of my brother's influence "Julie" and I no longer have a functioning relationship.
I do not know if I should attend my nieces graduation, after being snubbed and risk the possibility of having my brother go off on me.
2006-06-10 17:36:47 · 14 answers · asked by minnieboo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
P.S. By the way, seating is not the issue, there is more than enough seating....
2006-06-10 18:19:51 · update #1
Invite her to dinner and tell her how you feel. Be honest about EVERYTHING. Maybe there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the line.
Good luck!!
ps: don't bring up the graduation, except to wish her the best of luck.
2006-06-10 17:39:44 · answer #1 · answered by powhound 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family things hurt so much, don't they? I feel for you.
No matter what, don't blame your niece. Do not take out your anger on your niece. Do not read anything negative in to your niece. Highschool seniors are so oblivious. I wont go in to it, but I had an issue surrounding my senior year that upset 1 one of my 2 uncles...my HERO uncle...the one that I wanted to grow up and be like, worshiped, etc...
Whether you go to graduation or not, that is up to you...I dont know what to do about that....the important thing is that you show your niece that you are there for her and proud of her. The niece will grow up and sort things out for herself and appreciate everything that you have done for her...no matter what her dad has said or done.
Causing a scene never helps anything, no matter who is right. This day is all about your niece. You are obviously an aunt that cares, which is awesome. Do what is best for the girl. Know that she will appreciate your love, no matter what.
You know as well as I do that the invitation list was handed down to her by her parents. I know it hurts, but do not place blame on her. I promise, if she was asked to make her perfect list, you would be on it...or, no one would be because she is too busy with her own life....you know how that is!!
before you know it...you and her will be pounding mixers in a bar somewhere, discussing this, laughing about this, etc...as peers...TRUST ME!!!! aunts and uncles mean more to us than they ever know!
2006-06-11 02:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your niece ran out of invitations? That's what happened to me, at my graduation, but I explained to the other relatives.
Maybe she'll explain later, maybe not.
If your niece didn't hand you a invitation, don't go. One of the worst things that you can do is show up, where you're not wanted. I know that it probably hurts, but just try to get over it, and move on.
Remember, things that happen in life, always come full circle.
2006-06-11 00:46:17 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Spongebob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to Julie about it. See if she wants you there then decide to go or not.
Or take the high road and send her a card, let her know how proud you are of her and how you wish the best for her, etc... and never mention it. Although maybe she mailed your invite and you just didn't get it????
but I definitely wouldn't crash. I am sure the last thing she would want at her graduation is family tension/arguments or a scene.
2006-06-11 00:41:15 · answer #4 · answered by AOMGMC77 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be personal. Now they only have a certain number of invitations to graduation to give out. Usually now its just immediate family members due to lack of space in the high school gym or wherever the event takes place.
2006-06-11 00:42:25 · answer #5 · answered by Jan G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not go but i would send her a card telling her how proud you are of her and how much she means to you. Now that she is getting older maybe she will react postive to your gesture and the two of you can start a relationship without your brother possibly going off on you.
2006-06-11 00:47:01 · answer #6 · answered by mia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think of it this way. she might hv wanted 2 invite u but cudnt cos of the father. she wud b really glad if u took ur own decision and attended the ceremoney. if things seem unpleasent u can always leave. better than sitting at home and wondering abt wht u shud do
2006-06-11 00:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by anthonygonzalvez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her a gift with a card saying sorry I missed your graduation, I would loved to have been there. Maybe the ice will break and you will find out what's bugging everyone.
2006-06-11 00:55:38 · answer #8 · answered by TINKERBELLE 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, maybe it has nothing to do with all that. Students are only allowed so many tickets for so many people to attend their graduation, so it's possible she just didn't have enough to pass them out to all distant relatives, like you.
2006-06-11 00:40:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show up anyway. Years from now, all she will remember is that you came ... or that you didn't come. Don't worry about current emotions. This is a big event ... be there.
2006-06-11 00:40:16 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋