should i forgive my dad who left before i was even born and who never even gave me a chance. he never once has contacted me or neither has his side of the family. its all sorta a mystery to me though. im almost 16. my mom remarried when i was 2 and he adopted me and now is my dad. do i forgive my biological or what. its not a good feeling either to be unwanted by your dad.
2006-06-10 17:13:30 · 23 answers · asked by razorbladekisses 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Jesus Says to Forgive and Forget! Even though you may treat him differently for what he did to you; don't hold on to those grudges, they slow you down in life!! so forgive him forget it and show him what he missed all these years!
2006-06-10 17:17:40 · answer #1 · answered by Danny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is soooo much like mine... I have always wondered the same question. I am a few years older than you know. When I was born my real dad was there, only for 2 months though, and of coarse I do not remember him. He left and never contacted again. Nor did pay a penny. My mother re-married two years later, and I was adopted by him and he is now my dad. I have never been able to forgive my biological father. I just loved my dad even more for taking care of me and treating me as his own. In my eyes he will always be my dad, and I got over the desire to want to meet my biological father. I did see him one time. I could not talk to him and it made me sick to my stomach. You may be different if you do contact him. Good luck to you.. From my experience I would love and appreciate the person that I know as my dad that has tooken care of you all of these years.
2006-06-11 00:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by kykysma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don think you shuld view it as a Forgiveness kinda way.Understand why he left you n your mom. His side of the story. If you leave him when he trys to take the first step their wont be any difference between U N him will their? Yes u wont feel too much about him cause u never knew him but have a big heart sometimes we hate people for doing things to us without realizing that people make mistakes in life some big some small, But, Life is too short to Hate. You know the biggest Mistake we all make Is to Forget to TELL people we LIVE WITH that WE care or love them when they are alive. We are not born saints its our circumstances that make or break us.
I would say live ur life without feeling cornered by him. Once in your life Go and meet him ,see what he looks like and tell him Confidently that though you dont Need him in your life he still is your father and you forgive him for leaving you . And unlike him you are their for him If he needs any kinda help.
and than Come Back & Forget about the whole thing and BE HAPPY FOR NOT FOLLOWING IN HIS FOOTSTEPS.
Set An Example For Others and Your Own Self.
2006-06-11 00:33:14 · answer #3 · answered by dee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't even know this person. At this point, you should merely consider him a sperm donor. I would get over it, and start to just consider the dad you have as the only one. Think of it like you would if your parents had trouble conceiving, and went to a sperm bank. You wouldn't think that your dad is any less your dad, would you? So forget the donor, and be glad that you have a real man as a role model. Just think, your biological father could have been interfering in your life this whole time, and instead, you don't have to have conflicting emotions over both him and your dad.
Try to forget the man who forgot you, and remember the one who has loved you your whole life! Remember, it was his choice to become your dad, and he has been there for you. This Father's Day, make sure he knows what he means to you!
2006-06-11 00:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by clovicat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see there is already a ton of comments to this, but I hope you keep reading to hear this one,
Al lot of people are telling you to see why... I think that is the best advice. My boyfriend is trying all he can, and has for the past year or so to make things right with his son. The mother was hurt bad when they broke up and hates him. Got full right to the son and he doesn't even get legal right to see him. I tell him to keep trying because later in life she will be the one hated for keeping him out of his sons life. So you don't know unless you ask him if it was really his choice.... Also I lied to my son's father and told him that I cheated on him and that his son isn't his and then moved out of state and changed my cell phone number, he has internet to contact me but probably figures why... I am not getting back with him and it's not his child. I am going to pay hard later in life when I have to explain that to my son, but I know I will have to take the blame. So you have to see why and make sure that it was him being a dead beat or if there was other unseen reasons that your mother was too scared to tell you about. If it is he is a deadbeat then it might hurt but you might still want to forgive him. It wouldn't be replaceing your real father, who raised you, it's just about knowing where you came from. A little of your background.
I think you should see what the situation was before choosing whether or not to forgive him.....
2006-06-11 01:09:00 · answer #5 · answered by Estrella96 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
personally for me, i would never forgive him. 16 years later and now he wants a shot at being a dad? it's a little too late for that. besides, if you have a father figure who has adopted you as his biological daughter, what more do you need? he's more of a father than your birth father, and he's more of a man too. This is solely your decision though, I'm just saying what I would do. Good luck in whatever you decide!
2006-06-11 00:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by cindos_69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine was never there for me either. When he came into my life I was 15 and wanted so much to know who he was and if I was like him. Well, we have alot of the same habits and the same feet! He's my biological father and a pretty caring person. I know that he was young when my mom had me, about 16 yrs. old. I forgive him even though he wasn't there for me...my step dad was and still is. Sometimes we have to let things go. People do stupid things. Let it go...for yourself. Get to know who he is and you'll discover things about yourself. Good Luck.
2006-06-11 00:22:44 · answer #7 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 21. When I was 17, my dad pretty much cut me and my sister out of his life. At this point, I haven't seen or spoken to him in going on 2 years. The way I see it, is that if he wants to work things out then it's his responsibility to come to me and try to fix things. I can't speak for you but if you want answers then you should seek him out and try to get them but if this is just about you wondering if you should forgive him then I say no. Why? Because he's not your father. Your father is the guy that has been there for you since you were 2. It's better to just forget about the guy who left you and be grateful for the father that you do have.
2006-06-11 00:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a selfish immature person. You can forgive him because anger is very bad for your own soul and well-being. However, you don't have to like what he did. He was just a sperm provider. Your real Dad is the man who raised you and was there when you needed him. Love him and be thankful that he is in your life. Father's Day is coming. Tell your Dad how much he means to you.
2006-06-11 00:20:01 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to forgive him are you with him right now? Well if you are I suggest you give him a chance so he can see what he missed out on he probably just didn't know what to do or maybe he was young and wanted to try toget something done out of his life
2006-06-11 00:22:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋