15 yr old son just came home drunk?

Question

my neighbors asked my boys to help some of there family move as a reward the folks moving offerd to cook out for the kids tonight.My neighors 18 yr old daughter and her boyfriend drove my son to the cook out and brought him home drunk.I called the girls father and he said oh well boys will be boys i am sooooo upset right now.His daughter was responsable for my son right?Or was my son supposed to be the adult help?

Answer 1

As tough as this is, the older adults at the party should have monitored.

Your son should have shown some personal responsibility by not drinking.

I would question whether or not your son should have these "friends".

If "boys will be boys", would it have been OK if your son got the girl pregnant?

Answer 2

The 18 year old daughter was not responsible for your son. You were. You always are, even when they are not home.
However, if he went to a cookout that was provided by your neighbor, and the neighbor either served alcohol or otherwise allowed alcohol to be consumed by juveniles, then it's your neighbor that is the legally responsible person. In other words, the home owner where the alcohol was served is the person responsible for what goes on in his or her house. Even if it was the kids that snuck it in. And you definitely have a legal case, if you want to file it, against the neighbor. It's called contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
That said, even if your son came home drunk this time, it does not mean that, despite what everyone on here's saying, he's going to become a raging alcoholic. It may be that he had a couple of drinks there, or even that what he thought was a punch was spiked, and he's learned his lesson.
What you need to do, once you've calmed down some and he's over his hangover, is sit him down and talk to him. Don't yell at him, talk to him. Find out how the alcohol got to the party and how he ended up drinking some. And make sure he knows the consequences of underaged drinking. Here where I live, kids who drink underage can't get a driver's license until they're 18 years old.
And then, does he know that if he gets into a situation like that, he can call home and you'll come get him? My sons know that if they go to a party and there is drinking or if the person who took them to the party is drinking, all they have to do is call me and I'll come get them. Period. Make sure yours has a cell phone so he can do that too.
It sounds like the kid got in a situation he didn't know how to get out of.
You are all just lucky that the daughter doing the driving didn't crash her car, and that this time your son is all right.
And no, your son isn't "supposed to be the adult."

Answer 3

I would be angry with the father, personally for providing the alcohol. Depending on what country you live in, an 18 year old can't be considered responsible for alcohol issues.

There's little you can do now that it's done though, wait for him to sober up and let him feel the after effects of what he's done. My hubby said that when he did this to his own mother she made him really suffer the concequences - she made him stay awake as long as he could, wouldnt let him pass out. And didn't do a darn thing when he was puking the next morning.

Unfortunately this is something kids are going to go through no matter what. Deal your cards as you will, only you as parents can decide what to do but I would caution being too harsh on him so that he can still trust that if he screws up again, you aren't going to throw him out on the street, or if he does it again, that he will at least come home and not be too afraid to come home and not call you and not show up home.

Answer 4

Your son is a minor, so the adults there were responsible for him. You are right to be angry. He was not a family function with you, nor did the family have your permission to provide your son with alcohol. Before they gave him any, they should have gotten your permission. I think that you are right to be angry!!

You should speak with your son about his decision making. That was a bad decision, and he should be talked to about it. Beyond that, I dont think any other punishment is warranted. He would have never had the opportunity unless there wasn't adequate supervision around the alcohol. It would be different if he was out with a friend.

Answer 5

the daughter. NO! your son on the other hand should of known better than to do that. but really the responsibility is left in your hands, and the parents of the party and obviously the dad dont care. so now maybe you should report them to the police for destributing to minors and maybe something can be done that way. from now on just make sure that he (ur son) does not hang around this family again.

Answer 6

Your neighbor's daughter and her boyfriend took responsibility for your son. The attitude of boys will be boys excuses a lot of bad behaviour when there really is no excuse. But the best thing you can do is to talk to your son regardless of who is responsible. He really shouldn't have drank anything but that's difficult to do if there are so many others doing it.

Answer 7

Your son knows he is not old enough to drink so it is 100% his fault unless someone jammed it down his throat! But just let him know how you feel about him drinking but make sure you say if he does drink then he better not drive when he is old enough to drive. Tell him that you will ask no questions and come and get him so he will get home safely. This is a hard one because when he is sixteen and still drinks and you have layed into him about it then he less likely to call you and just drive home so find a happy medium when you are discussing this with this because teenagers will normally get rebellious!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

This was inevitable, 99% percent of teenagers get drunk. And the average age is usually lower then he is now. I understand your anger, but you have to realize that teenagers are rebellious. You are a great mother for caring about this. My recommendation, you and your son have a beer or two inside your house. I know how weird that sounds but it will make him trust you, and he will think you are really cool for actually doing this. Maybe doing this will make him come to you the next time he craves for a beer instead of going somewhere else and risking possible danger.

Answer 9

no one is responsible for your son, BUT YOU!
dont go handing off your problems and blaming them on someone else...
Ive came home drunk before when i was younger....honestly coming from a 22 year old woman (who is now married and a mom) your son was just "having fun" and wasnt thinking right. Also....YOU need to teach your son about drinking...the consequences.....your son could have said no but he obviously said yes.....the father is right, boys will be boys, but you should know the difference between 1 drink and getting drunk. You need to sit down with you child and discuss drinking with him.

Answer 10

You can call the police right now and they can be in trouble for that. The adult that was in charge of him should never have allowed him to have beer. I would definitley call the cops on them if my 15 year old came home drunk. That is very wrong of them to allow him to do. It was not your son who was supposed to be the adult. He is a minor.