What is the big deal with spoiling a child? I buy my kid lots of toys and clothes?

Question

and ppl think he is a spoiled brat. Well my kid isnt a brat and he is well behaved. Why is it tht people think because you have money your kid is a rich brat...get to know the kid first people!

As a child I was dirt poor and now I have the lifestyle where I can provide everything for my son *toddler* and people say he is spoiled (I dont think he is, I say he's blessed) Rich or poor, just cant win!

Answer 1

There's nothing wrong with spoiling your child. You're the parent, you know your kid best than anyone else.

For me, though, and this is my opinion. I want to show my children love in other ways. Most people associate love with giving of material belongings. I do give my kids books, toys and clothes but I am conscious of doing it only when they're deserving of them. Otherwise, they get my time, attention and outings.

I show them that I love them in different ways. It's important to me because love does not always equal material things. Besides, they have to earn what they get otherwise they may grow up thinking that the world owes them something. Nobody owes them anything and they won't get anywhere unless they work hard, right?

Spoiling a child can happen in different ways. Not just material belongings. A child may be a brat because they don't get positive attention at home and so goes around misbehaving because that's the only way they get attention. The best way to avoid this is through lots of positive reinforcement.

Most people do tend to think that children whose parents happen to have money are spoiled. It may be because they believe the children don't learn to be appreciative of what they have. Maybe because they think that the children don't learn to sympathize with children who don't have as much. As a teacher, I've seen many
"rich" kids being unnecessarily cruel to other children.

I'd say, go ahead, give your child what they want and need if you can. That's our dream as parents isn't it? However, it may be a good idea to also volunteer at a homeless shelter, or teach him/her to donate clothing or toys. Teach them about our social responsibilities and they'll be even better than they are now.

Answer 2

The big deal with spoiling a child is that when you buy them everything they want they become dependant on you. When they get older they will not want to work or do anything. They will want you to constantly buy them things. And when you have more than 2 children that can get awful expensive.
People think a kid is a rich brat when you have money because you are buying them everything under the sun. All they have to do is say mom I want that and you jump right on it and buy it. Instead of buying the child the things that he/she wants make them earn it. Then they will not be spoiled in peoples eyes. They will also grow to be a hard worker and have a strong sense of self worth.

Answer 3

Well let's see if you feel the same way when your kid is a teenager...

Not to mention, that your child is just going to outgrow those things, so why waste your money? Yeah you can buy them treats, but not all the time. If you keep doing this then they are just going to keep getting more and more expensive as they grow, also, they may not appreciate the value of a dollar as they grow older. I see this among many of my peers and it bugs the crap out of me.

But I do agree with you on the part of people making assumptions, maybe they should get to know your child before jumping to conclusions, and listen, I know kids can be cute, but if I were you I'd stop buying them so much stuff where it's at the point where you're starting to think your own child is spoiled.

Answer 4

I know what it is like wanting to provide your children with things that you were not able to have as a child. All parents only want what is best for their children.

When I was growing up we did not have a lot. Life was a very big struggle and I missed out on a lot of things. I was teased constantly because of the houses we lived in, the clothes I wore, the toys I had or didnt have. I got a Nintendo in sixth grade when everyone else in my class had them for at least three years and were moving on to bigger and better systems when the children in my class heard this they made so much fun of me. My younger brother is five and a half years younger then me my mom remarried when I was 13 and he was 7. Her new husband had a great job and made a lot more money then we were used to. We moved into a brand new house and they got new cars, a boat etc. I moved out when I was sixteen. After that my brother got all kinds of things that I never had- a pager, a cell phone, four wheelers, game systems, cd players, a computer, a car, name brand clothes. ALL kind of things. The list goes on and on.
He expects these things. Everything I have ever had in my life I have worked for. He just gets things handed to him and gets mad when he does not get them.

I am in a position where I could give my children a lot of things. And do not get me wrong I do give them things and make sure they are never without. But it makes me and them feel better when they work for what they get. They also have already been exposed to donating and charity work even though they are all young (the youngest is one the oldest is six).

There is nothing wrong with giving your child the best things in life. But I am hoping you are also teaching him to give back. To be respectful and honest. To not take advantage of people. To not step on the "little people" as he is climbing up the ladder. That nothing is free. That it takes work to be able to get things.
Remember children will sometimes behave one way for you and another way for others.
If you are handing him everything he wants he will expect the same thing from everyone and that is not how the world works.

Answer 5

its not the fact that u buy them these things its the fact of are u making them earn it. I was the same way but as my child got older i hate to say this she was a spoiled brat. Now if she sees a new toy or certain clothes that she wants she has to earn by doing so many chores around the house. We are a blue collar family and I want my child to know the value of a buck.

Answer 6

A lot of the times it becomes a problem later because as they get bigger so do the gifts. And on top of that they dont understand the value of having nice things. And if you never say NO, it will become a problem when you might have to some day. Plus he may be different in front of you because he gets anything he wants...and the other ppl dont give him everything!

Answer 7

It is not the fact that your child is being judge because of his behavior if you are telling the truth when you say that he does not misbehave, nor he expects people to give him what he wants when he wants it .. the problem is that you are not teaching this child the value of earning his own things with his hands... You might be there now, but you will not be there always, and the fundamental values of life need to be taught to a child from the day that he/she is born... Right now, your child is young enough where you are able to control him, but what happens when he gets old enough and he simply "expects" you to give him what he asks for and getting it, as he always has... You will have to give it to him because if you do not, then he will rebel against...Basically, people are just trying to warn you, to prevent something from happening before it happens, but it seems like you want to learn the hard way, therefore, to each its own, and when your actions slap you in the face, you will then remember when everyone tried to warn you and you just chose not to listen.. God always sends warnings and signs, but one chooses to listen or to simply ignore. You have made your bed so when it is time to cry in it, do not complain or look up and ask for help, as he already tried to do it and you refused... good luck...

Answer 8

When you take him out in public, does he behave properly or does he cry and scream for everything he sees? When you are having a conversation with another adult, does he pull at you and whine and interrupt, trying to get your attention? When you take him in a store, does he stay with you the entire time or does he run up and down the aisles, pull things off the shelves, insist on playing with the mannequins and other displays? When he is older, are you going to be willing to continue to buy him everything he wants, no matter what it is? How is he going to react if you ever say no, that he can't have something?

Answer 9

I guess the question about being spoiled would be...

does he appreciate what he has? does he realize he is lucky/blessed? does he having a giving or taking spirit? does he feel entitled to more things? every time you go out must he get something or is he satisfied if you tell him no? does he have to get his way or else?

That is how I would determine if he was a spoiled 'brat'.

Answer 10

Because they are not cute when they are spoiled teenagers. Also if they think he is a spoiled brat you should look at his attitude. Being spoiled really makes for a bad attitude.