I am having trust issues with my current girlfriend. She does not hold sex sacred.?

Question

I am beside myself because I think I really love her. However, I have a hard time dealing with her past--knowning abuot her one stands. Also she had revealed that she does not hold sex sacred--but told me that she would not cheat. My problem is that--is sex is just an activity to her, what is stopping her from haveing sex with someone other than me. She has never given me reason to not trust her---These are all self inflicted feeling of non-trust that are based on her past and her beliefs. Should I be more understanding or am I asking the right questions about where i think the relationship is heading? I don't know what to do because I am sabotaging the relationship--accusing, acting jealous...etc....

Answer 1

If she dosen't hold sex sacred, RUN! You don't want to come home some day and find her in the bed with some other man!

Answer 2

That would be hard to have someone that has had alot of one night stands. My x never saw sex as making love and she just called it sex. When you are in a relationship and in love it should be called making love and not just sex. Maybe she has had it so much that it is just an activity to her but if you guys are in a good relationship then you need to make sure it isnt just a activity for her because it will just lead to problems. It should be a special thing between the two of you that is important to both of you. When else do you give everything you have to another person? I'm from Utah and sex is mainly sacred here between a couple and I made the mistake with my x when I stayed with her after I realized she didnt have any values like that. I hope I answered your ?.

Answer 3

Its understandable to have these issues especially if you know too much about her past. Knowing that someone you're with was okay with one night stands in the past can be a bit disheartening and scary. What is stopping her? If you don't know where the relationship is headed and can't get an answer from her then perhaps she hasn't planned on it going that far, so you need to find out. Also if sex isn't viewed as being sacred whats the point in only having it with one person? This is something you both need to sit down and talk about and if after you do you aren't satisfied you might want to find someone else who makes you one hundred percent comfortable.

Answer 4

forget that chic! lol I can tell you want security and stability in the relationship. If you feel like you are not special, then when do you think it will get better? nothing really gets better without hardwork and if a person is one sided or should i say "self absorbed" then it will do no good. Most men have not evolved in the last 10 years as fast as women's revolutional patterns. They think they are independent and can do anything they want. Men still look at their mothers as a standard where a traditional house women or wife that cook, cleans, and serves her man is the idea role. In order for any relationship to work, you must understand the expected role of each person. One might want you to see them less frequent, not be so close, or look at a relationship as just "something to do". But in simplest terms, if she isnt meeting your criteria you will always feel that discomfort. Sex and her physical attraction seems good, but what about her consideration, courtesy, or respect. If they are high then she doing pretty good. If she talking like sex is just an activity, then yes there is a risk she will cheat, i feel. When her self control slips in the mist of emotional turmoil or just over a bored curiousity, then she will. Dont take that risk as no one deserves to be cheated on. Dont accuse or act jealous, but do tell her of the discomfort feeling you have. If she care then she might help out with a solution. If not, then forget her and find ya true princess that satisfy your "rightful" preferences and needs. Some women just want attention and dress provocative to feel better about themselves. Thinking the more sexy the more accepted into society. If she say she won't cheat, then give her benefit of the doubt. I usually take my new date to the club or let them go out every possible chance i get. Trying to kinda test their will power and passion for US. Plus, i wanna know early if they are the type of women with self control issues, inconsiderate, or self centered. Test her, talk to her, and solve it homeboy. Much luck.

Answer 5

if you love her then you need to accept her past and her views on sex a lot of time not holding sex to be sacred is a sign of some type of abuse not necessarily sexual as a child sex is merely an act or a way of getting attention that maybe she didnt get as a child or a way to improve a poor self esteem if she has given you no reason not to trust her then you should at least try chances are she will be faithful to you, but if she isnt, then you need to get rid of her because once a cheater, alwaays a cheater

Answer 6

Maybe you should ask her why she doesn't hold sex sacred. Maybe there is something in her life that does not allow her to feel the same way about the act as you do.

Maybe she is one of those types of women who finds other things in a relationship more important.

Answer 7

That's a tough stuation to be in. Sex is sacred. I believe in the Bible about not having sex until marriage, but unfortunately I can't say I always practiced what it said. What I did when I felt that way was I stayed with the person because he didn't do anything to make me dump him, but I made sure that I kept in mind that he was capable of anything, so that if something did happen I wouldn't lose my grip on life. If you can't handle it talk to her about it and you guys can decide if you're right for each other.

Answer 8

if you think about it, not many people hold sex sacred anymore....if she has never given you a reason to not trust her, then chill out...just because she may have a not so good past doesn't mean anything...people do change...they grow up and realize that they have made mistakes and that's something you have to learn to accept...besides, maybe she will value the sex with her and just be careful with your heart until you learn that she is 100% trustworthy

Answer 9

If you really care for her then take her at her word she won't cheat. Give her the benefit of the doubt until she proves otherwise. But don't be stupid, keep your eyes and ears open, and use your common sense. Most important of all is to always, always, always, always wear protection. To be on the safe side you should both be tested for STD's before you go any further.

Answer 10

I could answer this, but it would take awhile; So I'll do the next best thing...I recommend you watch "Chasing Amy" by Kevin Smith and pay specific attention to what "Silent Bob" says at the diner to "Holden" aka Ben Affleck. Good luck.