Before I got with my BF, I had a friend who was kind of wild! We did everthing together and we had a lot of fun, but she didn't know when to stop either. I ended up doing things I really didn't want to do, but honestly I guess I felt at the time if I didn't, I'd be left out of everything too. I then met my BF and we were not together very long before I cheated on him three times with three different guys and they were all friend's. I think we were together almost a month when I did what I did. We now have been together for a year and I even got myself tested before we ended up having sex (cause I had unprotected sex with one of the guy's.) We are in love but I have a heavy guilt that I never told him this, so should I tell him or leave the past in the past?????
2006-06-10 15:23:52 · 32 answers · asked by wldsxychild 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
leave the past where it is
what will you gain from burdening his mind with all that?
2006-06-10 15:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by leadbelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, it seems you've got yourself a serious problem here. I'll try and give u the best advice I can as clearly as I can.
It seems to me that when a person cheats it should not be told directly. Although you need to make sure you do it soon enough before your partner ends up finding out on his/her own.
The worst thing that can happen is him finding out rather than you telling him.
Now i said dont do it directly what i mean by that is, write a letter, leave him a messege, have a (big) friend do it. Or you may just save all the trouble and tell him yourself but do not leave the past in the past because it will come out. Bad things always comes out, they have a way of revealing themselves.
For my last bit of advice if you tell him yourself, make sure he is calm. And make sure you include all the details defending you such as your wild friend. (if your bf is abusive or you think he would be dont do it directly)
(and if he truely loves you he will give you another chance)
2006-06-10 15:38:51 · answer #2 · answered by not me but you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know for a fact that the guilt is going to eat away at you for the rest of your life and by telling him you think that it will make you feel a little better, am i right? If you truely love him and you think that he will get past this yes tell him. But honestly honey i wouldn't do it.Whats done is done and i think you need to work on making a brilliant future together. Try not to let it get you down too much and good luck with the rest of your lives together!
2006-06-10 16:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by ღFëëZaღ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are a player but I understand cause the same thing happened to my bestfriend.You should tell him and you are harting him a lot.You cheated on him with 3 other boys and he forgived you that means he loves you, he really loves you.Now you are keeping a secret from him that you had sex with another men.I think he should have dumped you when you first broke his heart.He should find a girl that will love him for real.You now I'm right.You friend you know the one who you say is SO wild she has nothing to do with you or your love life it's YOU not her.
2006-06-10 17:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to give up what you have worked so long to keep. Leave it in the past. It's over, gone , buried.
Maybe 50 yrs from now, you can bring it up!
Have a good laugh, while you two are setting in rocking chairs on the old rugged porch, watching the sun go down! ;)
2006-06-10 15:48:21 · answer #5 · answered by crystallamp 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, that's a tough one. You two are in love, and you can't keep something like that from him. It's not fair to him. He is probably going to feel like it's a slap in the face for you to have kept it from him all this time, though, on top of being hurt by you cheating on him.
If you decide to do it, try explaining why you did what you did, all of it. Why you cheated, why you lied, everything. Good luck with that.
2006-06-10 15:27:58 · answer #6 · answered by Brackalicious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your telling us that you and your friend did things like cheat on your boyfriends. Sounds like fun. What do you think he would do if he found out what happened early in your relationship? Let me answer that, he'd dump you. I would to. When you are with someone, you are to be faithful to that person. Do you know what being faithful means? It isn't your past if it was done with your current boyfriend. You've got issues.
2006-06-10 15:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may cause some real difficulty, but I think you should level with your BF. If he really loves you he will want to work it out, If not ?? that is the chance you have to take.
If you not say something and it comes out later, there will be guaranteed trouble
2006-06-10 15:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What will be accomplished by your telling him, other than simply making you feel less guity? The downside if you tell him is he could leave you. The longer you're with him, the more distant this entire episode is in the past. I recommend you keep it to yourself, and do your best to make your relationship work.
2006-06-10 15:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by fhornsr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to tell him. The guilt is going to eat you up otherwise. Explain that it will never ever happen again and what happened was a long time ago and you were stupid then.
2006-06-10 15:26:18 · answer #10 · answered by dontimaginetheyllallcometrue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have ended the other relationships, maybe telling him will make you feel better and make him more confident that he can trust you since you ended the relationships in favor of staying with him. Honesty is always the best policy....
2006-06-10 15:27:10 · answer #11 · answered by daddysnurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋