2006-06-10 14:14:06 · 8 answers · asked by jennycoolio7 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
THANK YOU!! THOSE SITES ARE FUNNY AND IM NOT BORED ANYMORE!!
=)
2006-06-10 14:22:38 · update #1
This never fails to tickle the innards.
You should have the volume up a bit to hear the ducks.
2006-06-10 14:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, ''Who is this?''
''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.
''We don't have a maid,'' says the man.
The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''
The man says, ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''
The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.''
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?''
The maid says, ''What will I have to do?''
The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.''
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.
The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies?''
The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool.''
Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool.''
A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309?''
2006-06-10 22:12:24 · answer #2 · answered by ♠Mike♠ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christians
4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.
It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff. As Claude took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotise each and every member of the audience."
The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."
He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch...."
The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "S--t!" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theatre.
2006-06-10 21:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by pipi08_2000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yo mama so stupid,when it said emergency contacts on an application she but 911....hope it made u laugh
2006-06-10 21:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by mslinda97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uh no because i dont really know you..if i did i could make you laugh like my friends because i know what they find funny.
2006-06-10 23:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by Kay-Jay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't but WE can! Join this group.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ilovejokes/
2006-06-10 22:48:23 · answer #6 · answered by Prince Charmant! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to www.funnyjunk.com
2006-06-10 21:17:39 · answer #7 · answered by kage_ronin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to:
www.bored.com
www.lol.com
2006-06-10 21:16:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋