Why do men continue to watch porn even when theyre in relationships & could have the real thing instead?

Question

I would really appreciate mens views on this please. Does it actually mean anything or is it just 'men being men'?
Do you think doing it secretly whilst ur gf is alone in bed is disrespectful? im talking about it happening in a serious long term relationship.
If your gf told how that it hurts her feelings to the point of wanting to leave, would you tell her you've stopped, but carry on because you see no harm in it?
and finally, how would you come to a comprimise so that you could watch an accecptable amout of porn, without feeling guilty or doing it in secret, and that she would know about and not feel insecure from it? ps i am talking about my relationship. i want to feel ok about this and would love to hear a mans point of view. Im not a prude, i know most ppl like it and its 'normal', but i wouldnt be able to watch it with him, that would just make me cringe.
thanks 4 any help

Answer 1

Porn is the things that we actually fantasize about doing. Sometimes we dont have the balls to actually go through with it or other times we dont think we can get a woman to allow us to do it...but these are the things we wish we could do. So we all wish we could have two women or do an orgy but are we going to ask our women we are in a relationship with? NO, we wouldnt want to view them differently.

Answer 2

First porn is a addiction. We are taught from puberty that porn is ok and acceptable but in many cases it is harmful. It affects your relationships (yours) and the way guys view and treat woman.
In your case it is disrespectful to do what he is doing because you have voiced your objection but he may not be able to quit. Lying to you and betraying your trust is not good for your relationship. Trust and comunication are the foundation to a good relationship.
But you need to talk more to him about it and both of you need to try to reach some compremise if you want it to work. Personally I like porn but if the real thing is right there I can't see neglecting or missing out on the opportunity. He might lose you and than all he will have is porn. And that would be sad. Talk to him.

Answer 3

Men need variety and excitement in their sex lives. Looking at pornography doesn't mean he doesn't love you, it just means that there are fantasies and such he finds exciting that may not even be appropriate to do with you. Maybe he secretly fantasizes about slutty women taking it every which way, but that doesn't mean he would want a relationship with that kind of woman, it just excites him to think about it and watch it.

You could try asking him what you could do to spice up your sex life, or if there is anything he wants to try but hasn't had the guts to ask. That doesn't mean you have to say yes, but good communication is important.

Men will watch porn. Mine does. I'm cool about it, because you have to realize, this is not a threat. He's not going to run off with any of these women, they're porn stars. You need to work on your own self-esteem too, I think.

Answer 4

Plain and simple, it's a fantasy of theirs lived out. They may not have the intestinal fortitude to ask their significant others to engage in some of the things that sexually interest them. For the ladies I would recommend being tolerant of it, but don't let him run away to an extreme. Use it as a tool to better your relationship, watch it on occaission with him and say what you think ( ie.-that might be nice or, let's try that, that will allow him to open up and share with you as well). If that doesn't work and he still watches like a madman, leave him. You've landed a pervert and he isn't willing to change to benefit the relationship.

Answer 5

It's an addiction. Pure and simple. And it is not one easily broken. The problem is called a "sex addict" and it takes many forms -- everything from computer porn to staring at 13 year old girls on the beach, and the guy is old enough to be the grandfather. Knew of a guy who spent more time looking at computer porn than he did working, and he had a willing wife..... go figure. There are women who do the same thing, but more common among males. Hope you're not involved with one -- they prefer their own company....... if you get what I mean........

Answer 6

Men get turned on by visual things, which is natural for them. watching porn can be a release for some men who don't have a g/f, some watch it to get ideas to improve there sex lives , but it can be very addictive . I think its OK to watch it in moderation. Iv'e been married for 21 yrs and my wife knows i watch porn sometimes and it has not done any harm to our relationship. My wife is not a prude, but watching porn with me doesn't intrest her at all. If i was watching porn now and my wife banged on the bedroom floor for me to come up and have sex with her, i will be up their flash.

Answer 7

What do you dis-like about adult films? Your boyfriend watching other people having sex or your boyfriend watching other women having sex?
From experience I can tell you, that not all women are as good as the think they are in bed, and if you were doing the things that are shown in the films, your boyfriend probably wouldn't bother with them. AND, if the idea of acting out the films makes you cringe...Leave relationships to the grown-ups.
P.S.
Are you sure you don't have a hang-up with your body?

Answer 8

Thing itys like flavours of ice cream... dont want strawberry all the time or you get fed up with it...

What would be better is if you are involved rather them him on own...


Ie get things like couple porn or stuff suitable for women too, and as its on make out... Better still make your own movies then hes watching you... and sex life could be better as you want a vaiety of movies...


Also how about a rule... he can only see porn if he pays for you and the girls to go out to male stip shows... then you both meet up and shag like bunnies somewhere

Even better still... make a rule... silly 70s stuff only. That was mainly tongue in cheek... Ie debbie does dallas which had elements of American pie mischief in it...

Not so mecahnical...

Or make him watch girlie stuff like chippendales, videos of guys, firemen calenders etc...

He should not really be doing this on his own if hurting you but sounds like you bopth need to spice things up so the porn is boring.

Answer 9

It sounds very much that he has got bored with you and is looking for some other women to satisfy his needs, so why dont you show him a good time by standing in front of the telly and doing a little sex act on yourself and see how he reacts. If he tells you to move, then it is over between you two, but if he gets aroused then bobs your uncle or fannys your aunty.

Answer 10

It's a chance to get off without having to think. During sex, men should put their partners pleasure first (or at least think about it). By watching porn they can knock one out in a couple of minutes without any thought or work.