I AM 25 AND I HAVE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND—Should I tell?

Question

I am 25 year old and I have never had a boyfriend. The reason why is that I was never allowed to have it due to my religion and my family background. I had no choice and did not want to do things behind my family. Last year I moved from my parents house and after that I have been able to date. Now I have started dating this guy, whom I seem to like. He wants to know more about me, my past relationships, why it ended, how long I have been single and such things. Because of my shame, I lied, and briefly made up a story about a past relationship, and that made me feel bad. He's asking a lot of questions and I finally told him that he will get more information later (the truth, hopefully). I know that guys find me attractive and like my personality but I am afraid to expose myself to them. I have never had a boyfriend, I have never had sex and I am careful when it comes to relationships. What should I tell this guy? If I did not liked him, I would not care, but I think I do.

Dating is not a problem cause I do date a lot. I know, and I am always been told that I am attractive, so that's not the problem neither. But I don't consider the guys I have dated as "boyfriends". Or male friends of mine which are intrested in me, but I am not into them in that way.

Thanks everybody for your advice and support. It has been a huge help for me. I have decided to tell him the truth. Thanks again.

Answer 1

Is it shameful to have Christian values?If yo think about it,that's what helped get you this far.You don't need to lie or feel ashamed of what you are,unless your trying to change it and really don't know how to.Be truthful with yourself first,that is were it has to start.Then being truthful with others will come easy.I'm sure you are a beautiful young lady and that guys find your personality great,but if you don't find a way to shed the shyness you will have a hard time communicating with them.Just be yourself,some will like it and some won't.So what.That is there problem don't make it yours.You should tell him as much as you want to tell him but make it the truth.You'll feel better then you will know where you stand if someone rejects you for who you are.

Answer 2

first of all you did wrong you should have been truthful with him at the get go so what if you have not been with a guy hes very interested in you so it seems or why else would he be asking questions. you should feel pretty darn lucky to find such a guy most guys can give a rats *** about their partner & those kind are nothing but loosers in my eyes i mean i would love to know everything about my man as well as he would about me its only common sence. now hes gonna think its ok to keep all his secrets to him self just because its ok with you see it works both ways so its best to get everything out on the table before you two get deeper into this relationship thats what causes problems nowadays the saying goes secrets has their ways of coming out who wants that? >good luck<

Answer 3

I had similar situation.(strict family and religious values) Dated 3 years before I met someone I wanted to have a sexual relationship with (at 25). When he figured out I had not much experience he gradually became distant as it was too hard to be responsible and genuine. I guess being different scared him away. He was my first love.

Answer 4

In this case, the truth could be helpful. If you don't have a past there's no possibility of: jealous former lovers, sexually transmitted diseases, children who could reappear suddenly.

On the other hand, this guy sounds like he might be the jealous type. I don't think it's customary to question someone about her previous loves. Would you want to know about his past girlfriends?

Answer 5

WOW! If you are who you are because of your religion then maybe you should date only in your religion so who you are with will understand your background better. But if you like this guy I would tell him the truth but I would be very care full if I was you. guys are vultures these days and sense you are not very experienced they might prey on you

Answer 6

I'd say, because of your schooling and your parents, you never had time for a true boyfriend. Your starting fresh and there shouldn't be any more information than that. You don't want to get caught in a lie as it will hurt your character

Answer 7

OMG! That Ben person is dumb. Don't Lisen to him/her. I'm sure you are a great person. So now to asnwering your question. Tell him the truth. If he really cared and loved you for you then he will stay with you and will understaind. If he doesn't and leaves you, then he isn't worth it anyway.

Answer 8

he will find out sooner or later that you have never dated anyone because you are virgin. so there's no way to hide your past.
there's nothing you should ashamed of or feel awkward. you should even be proud of yourself for keeping your virginity till this day. it's rare in this day and age.
the best way is that when you guys get intimate, just tell him that there's something you wanna tell him and be honest.
i'm sure he would pleasantly be surprised to know you are virgin.
good luck!!!

Answer 9

Your gonna need to lett loose and trust someone....I bett because you havent had ahad a boyfriend for 25 years is because you havent lett anyone as a guy in for 25 years .....its not because ur not pretty its just because of that same reason!
Someone really loves you out there and you don't givem a chance....you need to.....and I bett ur pretty!

Answer 10

Tell him the truth. You shouldn't be so embarrassed, your upbringing protected you from alot of pain and shame. Be proud.