I have a younger sister who is 14. She starts high school next year and I am worried about her. She's like most teenagers and thinks that nothing bad can happen to her. I try to keep open communication so that I know what she's up to. I know that she has tried drinking and smoking. She and a friend just recently got in a car with a 20 year old boy to 'drive around'. I tried to explain that a 20 year old boy shouldn't want to hang out with 14 year old girls. The scary thing is that she has done less things then a lot of her friends. It's crazy to me that at this age they are experiencing the things they are. Other girls her age are already having sex. Is there any possible way I can talk to her and get through to her? Or is this just something she is going to do no matter what. She is a good person but easily gives in to peer pressure. Please help.
2006-06-10 11:03:08 · 26 answers · asked by jxoxolove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
At 14 my nose was still buried in a good book somewhere & peer pressure was the least of my worries. But we are not all designed the same way mentally. Unfortunately for some they have to be burnt before a lesson is learnt and for some more than once. You can sit her down & talk till the cows come home, if she means to do what suits her she will. However, don't give up on her, keep talking it just might get through. Don't be too intense, because sometimes that has an adverse effect. Just let her know that you're in her corner should anything ever go wrong, the fact that she knows that she can count on you, will allow her to leave open the doors of communication.
2006-06-24 08:52:31 · answer #1 · answered by somebrowning 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT is a scary thing. I tried to warn my niece of the ame dangers and the more I told her the more she wanted to do what others did. She ended up getting pregnant at 14 and had a daughter. she smoked weed and drank and on a crazy night I guess her daughter was conceived. No matter what you tell her she will automatically assum shes invincible, the two of you are very different and just because it happened to u doesnt mean it will happen to her. the only thing you can do is explain people have bad motives, girls do get raped, peer pressure does exsist but she doesnt have to sleep around or drink to be liked. I was very popular when i was in High school didnt drink or smoked nor did i cut school. i was myself and I was fine. Once you put that out on the table she can take it or leave it. all you can do is guide her everything is out of your control...good luck I know it can be hard.
2006-06-24 15:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by redserenity0804 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her. Continue to advise her whether she wants to hear it or not -- and tell her that you love her and don't want her to get into a weird situation. Advise what to do when things do get weird. Not to accept drinks from people at a club or gathering or alone, don't get into strangers cars, call home at a certain time, that kind of thing. Keep the lines open, hang out with her, spend time with her. That's all you can do. She has a brain and will have to learn things the hard way like you had to.
2006-06-23 14:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by scarlettboca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be open with her - give advice - your not the parent so make sure you leave an opening for her to come to you when she is worried sacared or just as a confidant.
it may be hard trust me - I have a cousin 11 years yonger than I - her parents were very strickt with her til about 16 then went the otehr way so she was never allowed to go out or do anything then bang she had a;ll the freedom she wanted and no one to tell her what was good and bad - she talks to me about guys - smoaking drinking - and knows if she screws up not to feel bad just to call and I will be there no questions asked
I know that if she is at a party and there is drinking - she might try it but she will at least admit it nad not lie to me - if her ride is drinking she won't go with them she will call me becasue she knows I won't get mad at her - I would be much happier to drive her instead of her risk he ;ife - I am not happy with all her choices and I can tell her that now and she sees it as my opinion not me condedming her.
She thinks i am cool and respects my advice now - sometimes it is hard but I would rathe rhave her know she can come to me no matter what then to stop talking to me
Be the one that listens and don't condem - she will start listen back and apprceiating the advice and hopefully start taking
2006-06-20 18:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by Tea Bee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep talking to her. Try to spend some time with her doing fun things and let her learn from your good example. Just keep enforcing the idea that just because her friends "do it" don't make it right. Youcould discuss unfavorable examples of peer pressure. Even sensational ones like all the people who drank the poison kool-aid because Jim Jones told them to.
2006-06-22 12:42:41 · answer #5 · answered by Grandma Susie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is not going to help much but I dont think theres not much you can do. She's going through experimenting stage now n until something bad happens only then she will slow down or stop. Just be there for her when she need the help n support. Good luck
2006-06-19 10:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by mc_691 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This child should not be keeping company with a 20 year old man for any reason. If they are having sex, he is committing a crime and should be reported to the police. She is the kind of kid that predators love to pursue and she definitely needs a reality check.
2006-06-24 13:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you are her sister let her know that you are also her friend, let her know that you are deeply concerned about her and her life and future. Tell her to choose another set of friends that can be in no harm. Most of the time its the friends you hang out that actually controls where your life is going. Just let her know that. If that doesn't get to her tell your parents. It is not snitching its just showing concern for your younger sister's life.
2006-06-17 12:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by Baby Bear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay first of all dont criticize her shell hate you i'm 13 too i know how it is. make up a story for ex." omg i have this guy in one of my classes or at work that was wth this 13 year old and she had sex with him it was so nasty. And she got pregnant. The sad part is that he was just using her. And then ask her if thT WAS grose or what."
That's my suggestion. if someone said that to me id stop.
Good luck
-Alyssa
2006-06-22 15:33:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. this is your sister, not your child, like I tell my oldest son, if you have a problem with your siblings take it to me. also rember better a safe sister mad at you than an abused sister happy with you.
2. set the example, kids (even siblings) will only do about 10%of what you say but they'll learn a lot from what you do.
Good Luck and God Bless
2006-06-22 02:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by Old Wise One 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋