It's my birthday, but the gift I REALLY want is not going to be mine...What should I do?

Question

Okay, that may have sounded kind of brat-like, which I'm not...the gift I really want is my parent's respect, and for them to let my leash, so to speak, longer. I have to live under so many rules, my life at home is painful. I'll even bet that if my parents found out I was using Yahoo! Answers, they'd kick me off of the computer for a year or more, and they'd make me freeze my Yahoo! account. In order to live, I've had to do many things in secret that aren't bad or profane or anything, but if my parents found out, I'd be dead meat. Does anyone have ANY suggestions to help me with this predicament?

Answer 1

We don't know your age, but you sound like a rather mature young person. One can tell from your English (and you know, I am a foreigner) that you are well-educated and that you can express yourself very well. This probably means that your parents are providing you with a good foundation. I am not saying they are absolutely liberal, which is not the case according to what we glean from your piece, but the impression one gets is that they are giving you a good opportunity as far as schooling and education are concerned.

Also, you could try to see the good side of your family, the protective side, so to say. This is a wild world, you know. Maybe they want to protect you from the harm outside. It seems they are overdoing it, but still by setting rules they are trying to teach you something. Well, after all, it's their home, isn't it?

You must count yourself lucky in a way, because you have a father and a mother living together, as I assume it to be. Most kids and teenagers these days have divorced parents, and this must be really a lot more painful for them than living in a house full of rules.

Since you write about your predicament so very well, I wonder how well you would do if you had to speak up for yourself. Probably you would do it well, too. So, that is what I suggest that you do: talk to your parents honestly and candidly, making them realize that it is high time they gave you more freedom to move and do your things. They may not listen to you the first time you speak, because they are probably not used to it, but you should not give up. Try again and again, but don't lose your temper and always speak gently, without sounding offensive. But you don't have to sound submissive, either. Speak frankly and try to find an aunt, an uncle or someone older to give you support or function as your advocate or spokesperson.

Remember, however, that as you get more freedom from your parents, you will also get more responsibilities and duties. It is not only a question of receiving, you will have to give something in return.

I was once a young man and I know it is not easy to live with one's parents. Generation conflicts are very common, and nowhere are they more conspicuous as inside one's own family, if you see what I mean.

Lastly, try to see this period of life as a step, as a phase, as something that will change over time, and try to learn the lessons they are giving you, the good and bad lessons, so that in time you won't repeat the same mistakes with your children.

Best to you.

Answer 2

Change your attitude focus on spiritual side of life. Parents has reasons to control kids. They actually care. If they dont care, why they want you to be a good kid?
Now, instead of crying over things that you will never have, why not be thankful with what you have. As long as you are under the same roof with them, you must follow their wish. Unless you live outside and work for your money. Learn the word respect. Focus on hobbies, do some exercises, reads some books, do gardening, help your mum in the kitchen and etc. Tell your parents what your intention for the internet. Read news, fashion, or online magazine that kind of stuff. Prove to them that you wont disobey them. Dont sneak out, it proves to your parents that you have something to hide. If they see you doing something in the Net, tell them you just reading and kill your boredom.

Answer 3

believe it or not but your parents are really trying to look out for you. if you have been on the Internet for more then a week you have already seen things that are not good for kids. Your parents are alot smarter then you think. If you put your age in this it would really help, if your under 16 or so it sounds to me your parents are doing a good job, if your 16-17 they might be alittle to strict, then if your 18+ well hun its time to move out, go to collage and start your own life.

Answer 4

Respect is something you have to earn. Trust is not something that is easy for parents to give their children. Children are so precious that parents sometimes overcompensate. If a parent makes one mistake, you could be the one who will pay the price. Some day you will be a parent, and the cycle will start all over again. Good luck!

Answer 5

i think u have to try spkin to 'em abt this..i guess they r a bit traditional..nd evn u have to compromise here..there r ppl in evn worse situations..u have to accept this..try understanding their perspective..but yeah i do reccomend takin to them abt ur dilemma..or maybe first to either ur mom or dad whomsoevr u r closer to..no parent wants his/her child to suffer nd once they understand abt ur prob..i bet they'll understand..so best of luck..give it ur best shot!!

Answer 6

you really dont see how much your parents love you and care for you...you will understand when you are older and have kids of your own,,,

Answer 7

Talk to them and tell them how you feel.

Answer 8

tell em how you feel, its worth a shot

Answer 9

cry.