Is it too late to get my son back on track?

Question

My son is 10 years old and his behavior is horrible. I truly have created a monster. When he is good he is very, very good but when he is bad he is scary. Today for instance I had to take his PSP2 away from him. He .came over and pushed me. Told me to shut up, said he didn't give a f**k, and told me he hated me. Then he began to hit my tiled floor with a bat. He throws stuff a lot. He sees a therapist for his anger. The problem is me. I give into him all the time because I don't want a fight. He is always getting what he wants. If I take something away he will say I don't care I'll just get it back tomorrow. I don't follow through with anything. Basically, he does what he wants. He doesn't treat his father like this. The father lives in a different house. At his father's house he listens, follows the rules and does chores. If I ask him to do chores it is a huge argument. He gets what he wants from me. His sister 12 is well behaved. Is it too late for my son?

I just want to say thank you for all of your responses. I am going to take some of the advice from many of them. The first thing I will do is stop being his friend and start being a parent.

Answer 1

it is too late for your son if you dont shape up.if you are prepared to change,your son will be an angel or else you will end up hating yourself for turning your son into whatever kind of deliqiunt he becomes.
be firm ....make sure that a no is a no.
if you take something away from him ,keep it away till he makes up for it.
if he swears,punish him(not physically)..taking away privileges,to bed without supper,etc usually work
if he throws a tantrum,ignore him
if he says he hates you,dont take it to heart,HE DOESNT
if you give him a chore,ensure he does it.

being firm will not make him hate you.it'll only make him respect you.

you will surely have to cry a lot the first few days,but soon they will be tears of joy...and no it isnt too late

Answer 2

Maybe it's time for your son to live with his father . If , as you say, he respects authority with your ex, that might be best ; but he sounds like he needs professional help. When you say the problem is you-are you giving in to him when he throws things & pushes you & tells you to shut up? If that is the case, then you truly are creating a monster .Some boys need male influence more than others . He has a lot of hostility towards you and that is not good. Talk to his dad about this and get his input.Your situation could become scary .

Answer 3

Your story sounds exactly like an episode of Super Nanny I was watching. There was a young child who was totally out of control, the father lived in another house and the children were very well behaved while with their dad, but when they came back, the ONE younger child was a terror. She was like you, she gave in to him, he would hit her, kick her and destroy the house. You know why? Because she let him. You are the parent so why are you giving in and letting him control you? He does not know enough about anything to be in control, yet you have alllowed him to disrespect you and turn your life upside down. It's never too late, but the problem lies more within you than the child. It's good that he is in counseling because there is something going on that has the child extremely angry and filled with rage. Work on what ever those issues are, but you MUST take control back because if you allow this to continue and he is only 10, imagine the hell you will go through when he is 15. Stop it now!!

Answer 4

You have waited just a little to long but you can get him back on track. :)
You got to show him your not scared of him and you are the mother and he is going to do what you tell him too do.
Boys go thur this or everyone I ever had did and it would take me about 3 weeks on being on their a$$ non stop to get them back on track.... My son also had anger issues. I read books and prayed!

I've never be big on spankings. Last time my son hit me we went at it. Got into a fight. He's 10 years old that's not little. Show him you can handle him! I mean tear him up girl you can do it. I'm not joking or being funny either. Once he sees that your not going to take his crap and you are in control things will change. I'm talking over night chances too. He'll be thinking dang mom's going to kill me.
Now after yaw get into it and get calmed down you need to talk to him. Tell him he can't be hitting you and your the head of the house. If his father was there do you think he'd hit his dad????
NO because he'd be scared dad would knock his head off. I'm not telling hurt him real bad. Just wanted to get that out there. I can't think of a women I know of that hasn't had this problem from her son. If you do it right the 1st time around you want have to do it again. All the hitting will be over.

yeah my daughters are sweet angels. It's the boys that give us trouble. lol
Good Luck

Answer 5

I honestly don't believe so. I would recommend Therapy sessions for the both of you together to work out what issues that he has. I would stop giving him everything he wants. Maybe his father can help find out what is going on with his son. Also, I would start following through with everything you say. If his PS2 gets taken away and you say that he won't get it back for 2 weeks, stick to it. Get a lock box and hide the key, even if you have to hide it at work to keep it from your son. It's never too late to turn your son around. Good luck!

Answer 6

Try to consistently follow through on what you say to him. Give him things to do that are age appropriate and offer to give him something if he does all his chores. I used to do a chart for each of my kids with the chores listed and for the days they completed the chore, I gave a sticker or a star on the chart. At the end of the week, if they had a certain amount (30, 25...) then they went for ice cream. positive reinforcement is usually more motivating for children. If they have something to work toward, a reward for good behavior that seems to get them interested in complying with mom.

Answer 7

Never is too late..Try to act wisely and with your mother intuition.You may also refer for some help to a good psychologist..it is also needed in such cases associated with agression at this still too fragile age,maybe to be searched a more detailed explanation.I do not want to bother you,dear..But you must at any rate make everything possible to "treat"(sounds that he needs some medicatons and therapies) his condition.Do not blame yourself and show him that you are not scared,and you will treat him as he treats you,and let him feel that reciprocity.I have a friend of mine,who has son only at 5 and he already is showing traces of anger and agression and that is really serious..I also allow myself to suggest you to see some Cognitive, and Group therapy,which really works fine..If you want some further advice you can write me...By the way,it'll be helpful to let me know where you live,in which country..Luck! God bless you!

Answer 8

its not too late........you have to take control though...don't let him push you around....make the rules and stick with them.......discipline is good for children (and adults for that matter). Do not give up on him. Let him know that you believe in him. AND listen to him....what he says and what he doesn't say and why. This is important. I have heard more young people say that they need their parent to be their parent more than their friend. Too often the parents think that its better the opposite way.
I think Gracewalk is right about it being a power struggle. you've got to let him know that you are in control.

Answer 9

i think maybe he blames u for something maybe he thinks ur the reason the father lives in a diff house. maybe u shuld sit down with him once in a while and try to talk to him bout y hes doing this to u and y hes treating u like trash. u dont deserve to be treated this way. and ur right bout him getting wat he wants ur too leniant thats y. i think u shuld try harder and show him who shuld be ordering who around in ur house.
good luck

Answer 10

Your son is in a power stuggle with you. You really need to urgently make sure that he knows who's boss!