My 3 1/2 month old baby only wants mommy, he crays when daddy holds him. what can we do about it?

Question

This situation is hurting my husband because he feels rejected by owr son, I know our son is only a baby but what can we do to solve this problem? plese no BS answer, this is NOT a joke.

Answer 1

This is so tough! I remember when my first was little and when he would cry I would literally tear through a wall with my fingernails to get to him. God forbid if someone else was holding him! LOL My son would cry when with DH too, and I would always rescue him because I couldn't stand to hear him cry.

Now I've learned something else...

When we bring our babies home it takes us a while to figure out what their cues mean. Sometimes they cry for longer than we'd like as we try to figure things out. Dads have to go through the same thing. It builds confidence in fathers to be able to soothe their children, but they need the opportunity to do that. When baby has been fed and changed and otherwise is content, give him to daddy to play with or hold. Then *go for a walk*. Sometimes this takes time but you have to remember that you aren't leaving your babe in his seat to scream alone, you are giving him to his *parent*, who is as fully capable of caring for him as you are (except the breastfeeding!). You aren't abandoning him by leaving him with his father.

Get a sling and have dad wear the baby in the sling around the house. When the baby is sleeping, move him onto daddy's chest. Anything that encourages the baby to be with daddy's smell, his rhythms, his heartbeat, when he's not crying and upset, will help. But truly, letting daddy figure out baby's cues will really help them both to bond a LOT. It's hard on us moms, but it really is important.

Answer 2

The baby and you have build a bond. Chances are you spend the most time with the baby than your husband probably because he's at work. You just need to allow your husband to spend time with the child. Even if the child is crying while your husband is holding the baby, STAY AWAY. Allow your husband to clam the baby down in his own way. Your husband will get the idea.
On his off days, allow time just for baby and daddy. You can use this time for yourself. Either take a hot shower, bath or go get your nails done or something.

It's normal for the child to be attached to the mother the most because the mother is the one that spend the most time. Your husband just need to be willing to do what it takes....

Answer 3

This is very normal for babies at that age, and can be difficult for dad to relate to a child. My hubby was around a lot when my daughter was that age and she still did it to him. Just keep trying, don't leave them alone for long periods of time but if you just let them have 15 minutes together while you go for a walk or otherwise have some 'me' time - it does get better. Try initiating some daddy - baby time rituals - bathtime, a walk together everyday, something nice that both of them can learn to look forward to.

It can be really hard for both of you when this happens - because you need to make sure that you still get time to yourself! Some babies are needier than others but this too will fade, if not pass. I found my daughter got much better around 4-5 months, but it still comes and goes. It does seem to get alot better around that age though because it becomes easier for men to relate to babies when they come out of their "newborn shell" as I like to call it (start looking at the world around them instead of just sleep and boobieboobieboobie). When babies are so young they just kind of sit there and cry and eat and poo and sleep. When they get older they become more animated and easier to entertain...then dad can play with him and feel like he's doing something.

So I would say just keep trying, but make sure you're there so baby doesn't feel deserted by you if it doesn't work out with dad that day.

Answer 4

Daddy needs to spend a little bit more time with your son. You need to go to the store or to a friends for a little while and allow them to have time to themselves. When you son cries for a bottle at night have your husband go to him for a while. And if you son continues to cry when your husband goes to him don't rush in let them bound. They will be ok. All it sounds like is mommy spends way to much time with baby and daddy needs some time on his own to bound. Good Luck, I hope this works for you.

Answer 5

Both my sons preferred women to men, even me to their dad. As they grew, they gradually wanted him. I don't know if this is normal, but think about it--the baby spends 24 hours a day listening to the sound of your voice and body. That's all he/she's known for 9 months. Give them time. They'll get their own bond. If you're hubby is really bothered by this, talk to an expert. It can help. They may also know ways to help the situation.

Answer 6

Papa needs to spend more time with him. Dad probably works and is not around his son as much as you are and the baby is more attached to you. If your husband will try to spend as much time as he can playing with him the baby will grow closer to his Daddy. It's not uncommon for babies to be more atached to the mother, after all they are the ones that take care of the child the most and are the nurturer. He will grow to love Daddy, too.

Answer 7

Here is a suggestion ...it seems that your husband is not spending enough time with his baby I would guess because of work....What you can do is to get a shirt belonging to your husband and during the day when he is away keep it close to the baby even when the baby is asleep..that way your baby will recognize daddy's scent and be familiar with it. Hope it works...Good Luck..

Answer 8

This is called seperation anexiety. I went through it with my daughter. Have Daddy watch your son for short periods of time without you and then after a few days of doing this leave for longer periods and eventually your son will accept your husband holding him. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 9

well, he has only been in this world for a very short time and he only knows mommy,especially if you are brest feeding. your are the food & comfort source. this will pass. he will eventually become more familar w/ papa. it won't be long and they will be best friends.
also,sometimes a baby will sense when a parent is upset,nervous or frustrated. perhaps,papa can relax and hold baby close,and the love will come natural.

Answer 10

my son was like that with my husband and I think it was becasue he was so tense when he would hold him, My son could feel it. After my son go a little oldier he loved his dad, and know that he is 17 months he loves his dad the best lol!! so tell your husband to relax a little and to give it time.