Ok another Mother in Law question/issue/problem?

Question

Last weekend we had a family emergency w/my family not in laws. My BIL came out took my son for the weekend I thought how sweet I said sure He would never let anything happen to him. So this weekend comes and I get home from work last night and my hubby said our son was at my MIL and FIL's I thought no big deal. I got up this AM around 830 and I have called there many times and can not reach anyone Please understand they would not let harm to come to him either. I can not drive over there my husband has taken the car he will not be car for 2 hours. I am not being parinoid But I can tell my MIL is keeping my son from me. She does not like me at all. She thought it was ok when my BIL gf told me that she would spank my son when he said "no" to the GF. She thinks that he shouldnot be in school but my son loves it I can not take that away from him. I do not want to keep my son from my in laws but she will not listen when I try and talk to her abt.

Please understand my husband does not agree with his mothers actions but also feels the same way I do does not want to keep our sn from his grandparents and uncle. We want to give him everything in life. So where do I draw the line when she will not even listen to me when I tell her that I want my son home with me. According to her my house is never clean enough funny thing is her son lives here too and he never cleans but that was her doing. He does clean up but not as much as I do but I am not mad abt that.

BTW I have been calling all morning and now I jsut called and they took the phone off the hook

Answer 1

They took the phone off the hook? What was that about?

As soon as you husband gets home I would suggest the BOTH of you go over there and have a serious discussion with his parents. Try to have the discussion calmly and rationally and away from your son. You don't want him getting caught in the middle.

Explain to them the precise issues that you are having with them and their behavior towards you. Your husband should back you up on all of these. You both need to do the talking so that they get the message that this is both of yours position. Tell them that you don't want to keep their grandson away from them but they can't keep him away from you either. This is their grandson not their son. They have rasied their children and your son is YOURS to raise, which means YOU and your HUSBAND get to make ALL the decisions about disipline and care giving. They had no right to give permission to a third party to spank your son, you and your husband alone are the only ones who can make that decision and grant permission if you want to.

I would also talk with you BIL's GF and tell her that she does or dose not (depending on your choice) have YOUR permission to spank your son and in what instances in spanking acceptable.

If they are intentionally keeping him from you, and it does seem that way today, than that is KIDNAPPING. It dosen't matter if they are the childs grandparents or not! They must have your permission to have your son and you must be able to communicate with them while he is there.

Be sure to have a talk with your husband before you go so that you have a game plan and if the discussion gets too heated LEAVE. You also need to ensure that he is going to back you up and vice versa with any of the issues. He might be tempted to cave as these are his parents but this is HIS son you are talking about. You don't want this to turn into a screaming match, simply a discussion between adults. If it get out of control leave and let things cool down for a few days.

Or write them a letter if you feel that they won't listen to you. Put exactly how you feel into words and explain why you BOTH feel this way. You don't have to send it but it will give you a chance to vent. Try not to use profanity or insults in the letter because you don't want to sink to that level. After all they will be in your life as your inlaws and your sons grandparents for a very long time.

Good luck and stand your ground otherwise episodes like this could escalte.

Answer 2

I would call the cops to be honest. While you say that they will not harm your son, what they are doing is essentially kidnapping. I know you don'tw ant to cause more trouble with your In-laws (been there I know how it is), but if you do not want to call the cops, I would call your husband and have him come home then make the drive to go get your son. If they refuse to give him back to you, then I would say call the cops because it's more of a Kidnapping issue more than anything.

Good luck!!!

Answer 3

I agree with everyone on here. Its your child and your job to protect him and what they are doing is basically kidnapping him. You don't know whats going on over there and to take the phone off the hook is just wrong. I'd also talk to your husband. Why was they kid over at your MIL's house anyway? Take a cab or something, but get over there and get your son.

Answer 4

If you have no car available, call a cab. I would get the child away from her. She needs to learn that YOU are the mom and they have NO control. Until she can play by your rules, I would keep the child away from her. I would not let this fly. I would make sure my point is taking to heart and this could mean extreme measures. What she thinks isn't important. I know you don't want to keep the child away, but if she can't communicate with you, it might be your only choice. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

First off, it might be flawlessly authorized. Second, do not finish your marriage over this. I expect you're pleased for your marriage and love your spouse very so much. Don't finish some thing as lovely and sacred as a loving marriage over some thing that does not relatively topic in the end. Both of your dad and mom need to be pleased, but when you're so hostile to it take a look at having a center to center along with your father and your mom in legislation. Tell them the way you think and why you do. Allow your spouse to mention her reviews as good (even supposing they range from yours). Please be know-how in the event that they do get married. Don't appear at your spouse as your doorstep-sister. She is your buddy, spouse, and maybe your soul mate, in no way your sister- via blood or some other method, it doesn't matter what. I relatively desire that I helped. I desire you and your loved ones the satisfactory of good fortune :-)

Answer 6

Call the police right away. If everything is fine then you are just a worried mom. If something has happened or they are actually keeping him from you and you don't call. You will be labeled an uncaring mother.

MIL and the whole bunch sound a little kooky. I don't think I would leave him with them unsupervised.

Answer 7

I WOULD WAIT FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO RETURN AND MAKE HIM GO PICK UP YOUR SON. IF HE COMES BACK WITHOUT HIM. DIAL 911. IT'S CALLED KIDNAPPING! GOOD LUCK. LET US KNOW HOW YOU MADE OUT.