Is it wrong to invite people to a bridal shower/stag, and not to a wedding....(it has nothing to do with a gift, as It's just their pressence that we want)?
Also,
We are inviting all of our family to the wedding, including children. Most of our friends do not have children, except for two families, and their fathers are standing up in the wedding. Is it wrong to invite a couple to the wedding, and not their children? We know a family with 2 boys, and the youngest one is great, but the oldest (who is 15) has no respect, and I am afraid he's going to pretty well ruin the night. I want to invite the parents, (they are my neighbours), but how do I tell them they can't bring their kids (even though there will be other kids there)?
HELP!!!
2006-06-10 03:34:41 · 10 answers · asked by blue_eyes_1_ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
incredible bad form to invite to a shower but not the wedding.
2006-06-10 04:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by beckini 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to invite someone to the shower but not the wedding. Even though its not about the gift, thats how it will look. You just don't go to a shower and not bring a gift because that looks bad, yet why should they give a gift it not going to the wedding. As for the stag and doe, usually people in the wedding are given tickets to sell so that there will be plenty of people there who arent going to the wedding. At least thats how it works her so I don't see why you can't invite them there. And for the children, I'm pretty sure they 15 year old wont ruin the wedding. His parents will likely talk to him before or not bring him if they feel he will be a problem. If you really don't want them though, then just make the invite out for 2 guests so their children arent included. If they ask you can say your trying to cut down on guests and so invited them only.
2006-06-10 05:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's wrong to invite people to the shower/stag and not to the wedding. It makes it look like you just wanted a gift, even if that wasn't the case. Unless, of course, you're having a destination wedding - in that case, let them know at the shower.
There is no tactful way to invite adults without their children when there will be other children there. Just address the invite to "Mr & Mrs Whoever" and maybe they will get the hint. If the 15 year old ends up going, don't worry about it. Believe me, he's not going to ruin your night. You most likely won't even know he's there because you will be so busy having fun with the people that came to share your day. If he does do something (highly doubtful), have one of the big groomsmen go over to him and threaten to beat him up...lol
Relax and enjoy!
2006-06-10 12:55:39 · answer #3 · answered by bluez 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to invite people to a shower but not a wedding. However, you can get around that by including a message with the shower invites saying that you are having a small, family only wedding, but you would still love to be able to celebrate with friends by means of a shower.
For the wedding, send the invitation to the couple only, don't address it to "and family". If they may not understand, include something about it being adults only. If they ask about the other children there, you can always say that they didn't respect your no children wishes, and thank them specifically for doing so.
2006-06-10 03:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by lclaws13 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is beyond rude to invite someone to a shower or stag party and not to the wedding.
You don't have to invite children to your wedding and probably it will be nicer if you don't. It's kind of strange to only exclude one family's children. It would be better to just not have any kids. When you address your invites put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith on the outside envelope and John and Jane (or Mr. and Mrs. Smith) on the inside envelope. They should understand from the invitation wording that only the parents are invited.
2006-06-10 10:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1 - absolutely do not invite someone to a shower if you are not inviting them to the wedding.
2 - if there are going to be other children there you have no tactful way to tell them not to bring theirs... what would he possibly do to ruin the night? you will be so busy you'll hardly notice him most likely. if he's really that horrible they probably won't bring him anyway!
2006-06-10 04:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by dharma_claire 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Question one. Unless the wedding and reception are VERY small (like immediate family only), it will LOOK like you are fishing for gifts.
Question two. Your guest list should NOT give the world clues as to whom you like and don't like, approve of and don't approve of. Either you invite people under a certain age, or you don't. There is no polite way to cherry pick based on personal taste. The way to handle potentially "troublesome" guests is to assign burly friends or cousins to "keep company" with them throughout the party and "invite" them outside for some "fresh air" if they get out of line.
2006-06-10 08:24:38 · answer #7 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
our son recently was married to a wonderful girl and All were invited to the wedding but the reception was for adults only. Drinking and dancing and generally having an adult evening is not a place for children.
2006-06-10 03:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just invite the couple by stating Mr and Mrs So and So.
2006-06-10 05:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's bad form to invite to a shower and not to the wedding...if you want them there just add a note on your invitations saying "adults only" then it will be up to them whether or not to attend..many parents won't attend if their children aren't welcome though.
2006-06-10 05:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by Syeira 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋