Okay, here's the story...I'm educated, I have a good career, and consider myself a pretty stable individual; however, I'm also a human being, capable of making mistakes. I have 3 teenage children from a previous marriage and I've been with Dawson for 8 years (engaged for 2). Not long ago, Dawson and I were having some major trouble in our relationship; in fact, we were talking very seriously about separating. It was hard on us both. Well, during this time, I met Sam at work. Sam and I developed a pretty strong friendship that evolved into something else. We had an intimate relationship for about 2 months. It ended when Sam began expecting me to leave Dawson. It finally dawned on me what a fool I was, shaking the stable life my 3 children had, and endangering an 8 year relationship. I was so ashamed. So, I had a long talk with Sam and, as far as I was concerned, it was over. We no longer work the same shift at work. Since then, Sam calls me constantly, threatening to tell everyone....
2006-06-10 03:23:02 · 7 answers · asked by sweetpea3 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
...about what happened between us. If I don't answer my phone, he gets angry and drunk and threatening and crazy! I really feel he's crazy. My question is, how do I stop his actions without letting everyone in on what we did?? I'm so ashamed and what I did will NEVER happen again, but how do I fix things?
2006-06-10 03:24:23 · update #1
IF I told Dawson, he would leave me in a minute. It's the kind of man he is (very proud) and I wouldn't blame him at all. So, telling Dawson is not an option. HELP!!
2006-06-10 03:25:11 · update #2
Sorry, you don't have any options here. This guy is nuts, can't take no, and will do everything he can to destroy you. You have to tell Dawson, as far as I can see. Dawson is better to hear it from you than from Sam, and he is gonna hear about it. Do NOT take my advice! I do not want the responsibility for any more problems here...but you have made a nasty bed and somehow, you are going to have to lie in it. Sorry to be so pessimistic, but yes, this is a fatal attraction. IN fact, it could get dangerous. You might have to pull a restraining order before this is over. Sorry it is you, but I am damned glad it isn't me...I was involved in one of these things 3 years ago, and to today, it still rears its ugly head...some people just cannot take no for an answer. I still get calls, and fortunately, my other half is somewhat understanding, as they are the one that usually gets the call.
2006-06-10 03:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You had issues at hand with Dawson before Sam and you ever got involved. Otherwise, you wouldn't have slept with Sam. You need to fess up to your mistake and try to make it right. Your kids will respect you for that no matter what the outcome. If Dawson is really a good guy he will understand in the end. Not to say he won't be mad! Wouldn't you be? But, it will make him respect you if he doesn't already suspect you... Don't give the other guy the upper hand in your life. Hope everything works out for the best.
2006-06-10 11:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by honeybmassage 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know we all make mistakes; forgive yourself and don't tell Dawson especially if it will affect your future together. Is there someone at work, a supervisor or personnel director that you can go to and tell them a "version" of your story? Let's say you tell them Sam will not leave you alone and is threatening to spread vicious lies about you. Then the supervisor would talk to him and Sam might get the hint that it will cost him his job if he starts talking about you.
Another thing, don't react to threats. The person who is doing all of that dirt-talking is usually picking up on the one insecurity that you have...a fear that someone will find out. Act like you don't care. It's just his word against yours, right? DO NOT REACT...that's what he wants you to do! If he did start talking, I'd deny everything. People don't have to know your business or anything about your love life. He would look like a fool talking trash anyway.
Change your phone number, that will stop the calls. And honey, do not talk to him at all. Just act like it's over and it will be. You don't have to be his friend anymore or cave into his threats. It's over. That's it. Protect yourself. All will be well. God Bless.
2006-06-10 10:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can tell sam that you have already told dawson, maybe he would believe it. you can also tell sam that you are going to get a protective order if he does not stop. basically he is a stalker and the law can stop him. you would not have to divulge everything to the police, only that he is calling and threatening you. a verbal threat is a grounds for a assault charge, if you are indeed afraid for your well being. mental health is your well being also not just the physical aspect.
2006-06-10 10:34:36 · answer #4 · answered by WIDOWMAKER54 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, you are in a difficult spot.
I think you need a lawyer. Learn more about blackmail and what legally can be done to Sam if he so much as utters a word or carries through on his threat to expose you.
Sometimes a letter from a lawyer can shut people up.
2006-06-10 10:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by MillwoodsGal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i no this is dirty but sometimes we have tp play that way...tell dawson you became friends with him when you 2 were haveing trouble but dont tell him you 2 had sex.. tell him that he asked you out and you said no.. tell him since then he has been stalking you. wait till the other guy gets drunk and calls you tell him to just go ahead and tell everyone.. when he does just make him out to be a lier..
2006-06-10 20:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by purple 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i dont have to tell u this, u alredy know that u were WRONG.. anyways, no use crying over spilt milk. heres wat u can do:-
1)speak to sam wen he is sane and calm. let him know about ur difficulties and try making him understand.
its usually said that guys cant handle betrayal. so its not a wise idea to let dawson knw abt it. but, it might get better if dawson gets to knw the truth coz, truth cant hide realy long and he might forgiv u.. i dunno weder wat im saying is ryt, think abt it and do wat u think is ryt only after getting a few more replies.. dont ever stray out from a commited relatnshp.. it gives pain and leaves tears.. take care.. dont make decisions in a hurry.. think with a cool calm mind.. dont take my advice as it is.. i do not want to b blamed for ruining things.. think over and do wat is right
2006-06-10 10:36:50 · answer #7 · answered by mary 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋