i want to move church, but isn't allowed by my pastor. What should i do?

Question

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Because of this, i want to move. But he said, i couldn't run away from problems (i haven't tell him the reason why i want to move). How to explain to him without telling him that the reason i move out is his attitude of womanizer? If i tell him, i don't think he will accept my reasons and maybe he mentioned he is just giving a normal attention from pastor to church members, while me and my friends sure that his attitude shows more than it.

Answer 1

You should tell him even if in a letter. If you can do it with some one else all the better (the Bible says to show people their flalts that way).

If he does not change, or you can not tell him, then just go to another church. It is better to change than sin.

Do not get hung up about having to go to the same denomination as you are going now. Try several churches until you find one that is teaching the truth, and were the pastor and members can show you the proper love of Christ.

God be with you.

Answer 2

First of all, I don't see how its his place to tell you where you should and should not go to church. Secondly, what he's doing to you and that other girl is called sexual harassment: He's using his position of authority to try and justify his abhorrent behavior towards the both of you, and also use that authority as leverage to get you to be all snuggly with him.

Further, how good of a pastor is he really when he violates the tenets of the religion he's allegedly promulgating (Thou shalt not commit adultery ).

Change churches. Don't tell him why or what church you'll be attending. I would even say don't tell him you want to change churches, but its too late for that. Why shouldn't you tell him: Because it is not his business. You don't want to give him the opportunity to stalk you.

You may also want to change your phone number, move, fill out a police report, talk to a lawyer, get a restraining order, talk to your parents.

Finally, a few words about forgiveness:

My understanding of forgiveness is probably a bit different than the typical one. You see, I've done some work in book-keeping and accounting, so I understand forgive as primarily a financial term. This is a somewhat simplified explanation, but this is how it works: You lend someone some money, and it becomes rapidly apparent that they will never be able to pay you back. So you "forgive" the debt - ie, you write it off, accept the loss and move on. But this doesn't mean that you approve of people borrowing money and never paying it back. Nor does it mean that you avoid learning the lesson here, namely, that perhaps you shouldn't lend money to that someone or that you should be more careful of to whom you lend your money.

When people talk about forgiveness in relation to actions or behaviors rather than finances, the concept is essentially the same. However, they're referring to moral or ethical "debt" rather than financial debt. Thus, forgiving your pastor means that you: Recognize that he hurt you in some way, ie, incurred a moral or ethical debt. That it has become apparent that its impossible for him to make it up to you or "pay you back." So now its time for you to cut your losses and move on, ie, write it off. But you should also learn the lesson here: Be a little more cautious as to whom you open yourself up to. Learn to recognize the early warnings of this type of behavior so things don't get this bad again, so you can avoid these types of people - and the pain they can cause you - in the future. Don't put yourself in a position where you let the situation you are in now continue or get worse.

Answer 3

You're not running away, you're avoiding. Its sorta the same thing, but it breaks down a bit differently. Does this guy have a superior you can report him to? I would approach him and flatly state you dont appreciate the attention you are getting from him. If he tries to excuse his actions as you stated above, tell him thank you, but no thank you, you're not interested. Any further gifts he gives you, return them. Record the information. Any communication keep a record of. If he refuses to leave you alone, give him one warning and tell him you will file charges against him for harrassment.

Lastly, your pastor cannot refuse you the right to change churches. He may be your spiritual leader, but he is not your parent and you are no longer a child. Being told what to do for your life and your own good ended with your parents' letting go.

Answer 4

First you have to approach him with the problem, if he doesn't accept bring couple of the elders from the church to back yo up, if it doesn't change get a different pastor or move. Sometimes people make mistakes and they can not see that tell him and give him a chance to make changes and make amends.

Answer 5

You must follow your heart, your gut and your instincts and leave. Do not allow any person to control you in such a manner. You are free to worship in any parish of any church of any religion that you wish to. Do not be controlled my someone who has an ulterior agenda. Follow your heart. If your problem is him, then you can definitely run away. It is not running away to remove yourself from a potentially harmful situation. If your house was on fire, you would leave right? Same thing here. Don't allow yourself to be burned.

Answer 6

I never understood why one would need there pastor's "permission" to leave.You are a grown azz woman...that being said you don't need anyone's permission...if you do then you are probably in a cult not a church...If you are not being spiritually feed and improved then you need to leave.Ask yourself these questions:

1.Does your church REQUIRE money (forced tithes)
2.Do you have to wear certain ATTIRE (dress,skirts not allowed to wear what you choose)
3.Are women allowed to speak or participate in service or hold the office of a man
4.are women subservient to men
5.Does the church know everyone's business

If you answered yes to any of these questions you ARE in the WRONG church... get out now

Answer 7

You listen to me and listen real good,I know what I am talking about and this is a very serious matter for your spiritual walk with the Lord. Get away from him and don't listen to what he says,he will use scriptures to confuse you and God is not the God of confusion period,if you don't have enough understanding in the word to not fall for his trick I will help you. Yes he is supposed to be a Shepperd over his flock over our spiritual need not carnal,to be carnal minded is death but to be spiritual minded is life and peace.I am giving you scriptures and can show you more but do not have time to look them up right now,if you need you can e-mail me and I will look them up for you and honey ,I have been there and done that and I know what I am talking about.God bless you with the peace to do this for yourself.

Answer 8

You have free will. If you don't make the choice for yourself, then someone is going to make it for you. Right now, you are letting your pastor make your decisions for you. If need to make a change do it. But I suggest you give him a piece of your mind first.

Answer 9

It's easy. Couple weeks ago, while my pastor was preaching bull to the nth power I just got up and said, "I ain't able with this nonsense!" got up and left the church never to return.

Answer 10

if you want to leave, leave, you don't owe him an explanation. In fact, you'd probably be better of if you didnt.

The way he behaved was inappropriate, and you need to go somewhere where you'll actually get a benefit instead of having to deal with this all the time.