Why are americans so cold and formal with their own parents and siblings?

Question

It seems as if the only relationship that is valued by americans is friends and marriage. And maybe parent-child, while the kids are still kids, once they become adults even thats taken for granted.

In adulthood many americans are so distant from their own parents and siblings. Whats up? Why are americans so desperate to get their siblings and parents out of their life so they can have a "life of their own"? I mean in India aunts are considered second mothers and our brothers and sisters are always welcome in our home even after we're grown up and married. In america on the other hand siblings have their "own" families. Isn't it common knowledge that siblings, even in adulthood, when they are married, are of the same family?

So why are Americans so cold towards their own family? Why the obsession with breaking away?

Answer 1

It depends on the household. If you raised in a bad home the kids can't wait to leave. IF its a good home, the parents will drive the kids away with their overprotectiveness. I was never cold to my parents but it seemed like they were cold to me.

Answer 2

Not all American families are like that! It's usually the rich people that act that way.They have nannies to care for their children and the parents only see the child when it is convenient for them.Their kids are spoiled with money and as they grow they tend to take on the traits of their parents.By the time they are grown all they care about is becoming millionaires and most won't let anything or anyone stand in the way!They become cold towards those less fortunate. Sad thing is,once a person has accomplished their goal,they have everything they ever wanted,what do they have to look forward to? And they end up hardhearted lonely old people that nobody cares about!So all in all the child becomes an adult that doesn't have time for the parent! On the other hand,people with less money seem to have stronger family ties! They depend one on the other.If their brother is in need they are there to help him,and they usually take care of their parents themselves when they reach the final stage of their life! Sometimes,less is more!

Answer 3

well the traditional family unit and the nuclear family in USA is fading and the single parent and the blended family is becoming increasingly common. today the family ties or bond is not as strong as it was probably because of the life style of people. sadly concepts have changed and the values instilled from parent to child have changed too. the need to break away and have one's "own family" as u say is more in America than in some other countries. the lifestyle allows little or no time for the aged parents and life revolves around ones work and current family of spouse and children.

Answer 4

Overly spoiled kids from a society of ill parental training over decades starting in the 60's. No proper training in or with disipline, and giving children anything and everything rather then teaching them proper values. Children today want to live beyond their earning wage on credit that destroys the home and family values rather then to live moderately and be satisfied with what they have. Government involvement has also helped to destroyed the old system where family of the same race live together that use to be called a village within a village with strong ties to each other plus welfare systems where welfare recipeiants live better then the working classes of people which included busing children long distances to schools to break the so called discrimination practices for minorities.

Answer 5

I was raised in a very loving and tight knit family in a small town in Minnesota. I was taught to think independently, and that I was capable of anything I set my mind on. I have been living in Africa for over two years, and am going home to visit family in a week's time. I love my sisters, parents, grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins very much. I guess because I felt so secure in their love for me and vise versa, I have been able to establish my own identity and follow my own dreams.

Answer 6

I don't think that is true. I think our parents teach us to be self-sufficient and self-reliant, they teach us good morals and respect for one another and yes, for them too. I think what you are seeing is not "cold" but independence, and that ... is what Americans are all about. We as a country "broke away" from England -- and as a society we "break away" to find our own way to become our own people with our own identity.

Unsure where you are from, but you don't understand the American culture at all. Unless you got your source data for this question from like the Jerry Springer Show, in which that is not real life.

Answer 7

i don´t live in America but i know a lot of them,they live in my city and we are pretty close friends.it´s strange because i never felt like they were acting cold towards their family.i adored the way they were talking about their families and friends they´ve left in America.i never really saw them without any photos in their valet.i always thought that you Americans are the most sensible and detached people to your family...i think every issue has two points of view so maybe you´ve got to a contact with the total opposite.

Answer 8

There are "normal" and "not normal" families in US, as anywhere else. That is a stereotype.
Plus - is it actually normal when your son of 35 years old still lives in your house and so on? I came from Russia, and we have that developed - people live with their parents forever and a day. That is not right.

Answer 9

I don't know where you are from but there are families like that everywhere. They just are brought up that way.

There are lots of families that are not like that.
Also families that are uhm... antisocial to anybody..

Matter of breeding.

Answer 10

That's not always the case my dear friend, you watch a lot of american tv shows?...that why you are getting that idea...?

(i'm not american)