Should I give into my husband who is treating me like crap because I strongly disagree with a birthday gift?

Question

My husband wants to get my daughter a Power Wheels for her first birthday in a couple of weeks. He has been wanting to do it for months and all along I've had at least a dozen reasons why NOT to get one for our ONE YEAR OLD. Beginning with the manufacture's age recommendation is THREE years old and up. I do NOT want to back down for the sake of my daughter's safety. His arguement is that he'll be right along side her the whole time to which I state he should just get her an age appropriate tricycle or something. There are so many reasons NOT to get this for her and his only reason for wanting to is because it will be cool but he has been treating my with absolutely no respect nor regard for ANYTHING I have to say or do in the past week or more. Something just doesn't seem right about all of this... what should I do?

FYI - Drea... Power Wheels are motorized. They run on a battery. There is no pedaling involved. You obviously have no children so butt out.

Aurora Lover - I completely agree that we should compromise and find something we agree upon, however, there is a Power Wheels with an age recommendation of 12-36 months that I agreed he could get but my husband insists on getting the "cool" one.

I just have to say, (because I'm pissed off), that because I refuse to allow my husband to get this - because I just have a bad feeling about it - he's going to just get her a card for her birthday. He's just trying to make feel guilty and sad, right? How do I deal with my second child, er, my husband? Cause I feel like kicking his a$$ but that would obviously not help our situation, (the situation that goes beyond the whole Power Wheels drama). For the sake of my daughter and her family life what do I do?

Oh fourstringerthndr - you are so funny. I believe you must be the bitter one - I bet your mother didn't like you very much. I am actually a very level-headed individual and generally get along great with my husband. I think you read into it a little too far... do you really think a power wheels is appropriate. For example - read Kadel's answers, (which, by the way, thanks Kadel!). My husband is a very loving father and I am grateful for that and is a very big reason why I married him - because I knew he's be great. I'm not quite sure where you and Drea see that I'm jealous. My husband and I are partners - there is no room for jealousy in a partnership when you're really in it together. If we were divorced, (and you seem to be yourself), it would be a different story. If anyone needs to look at what's going on in there head it sounds like it should be you. You bitter fool you.

Answer 1

Wow, that's tough... and I haven't looked at your other ones yet.

You're right for not backing down. If he wants to get the COOL one, he can GET the COOL one.... in absolutely no less than one year. The fact that you agreed to a similar, age-appropriate toy should be enough to sate him, but it sounds like he's just being a butt.
Unfortunately, the only thing I can tell you about situations like THE CARD, is that it's best to remind yourself that you're not the a$$hole, and if he wants to play these games, that's his choice. I wish I could give you some communication tips, but without having seen it all, I can't really stick my nose in the middle of it, you know?
The fact is, he is WRONG, and it really sounds like he needs to learn to see his faults and take some ownership. Another bad thing about it is that all that is TOTALLY on him, and there is nothing that you can say or do to make him own up to THAT simple fact unless he is willing to see it HIMSELF.
You know what I think? I say LET him get the card, and YOU go buy the 12-36mo Power Wheels. That is, if you want to be a little vindictive. If you'd like to appear MORE MATURE about it, you may opt for a couple REALLY COOL (electronic) educational toys. I think I'd go that route for a 1yo, anyway.

Answer 2

I haven't seen a Power Wheels for a while, but from what I remember, the slowest speed setting on it doesn't seem particularly dangerous for a supervised toddler. However, I'm not sure that a 1-year old will even appreciate the toy, and it seems like that would upset your husband as well.

If the toy has a seat belt (or a very secure seat = no way to fall out) and there is a large, clear, safe area to drive it, then safety doesn't seem a huge issue. That said, she's your daughter too, and if you are still worried about her safety, then he should not be pushing you OR your child. Tell him you'd be more comfortable waiting until next birthday. I mean, you have to choose your battles... but if safety is TRULY your number one concern, JUST SAY NO.

Answer 3

Quit being such a stupid ***** to your husband. Of course the one year old will not be able to ride on a power wheels and your husband will figure that out on his own while he and his daughter have a great time together trying it out. It's not like the baby will get hurt by sitting in the seat while daddy pushes it around the living room or up the sidewalk. Then you can put it away for a couple years and it will be there ready to go when your daughter is old enough for it. Your husband has probably had a beautiful vision of himself spending time with his daughter teaching her how to pedal and such and I don't know why you aren't ecstatic about the relationship your husband wants to foster with his daughter! I can tell you that your daughter doesn't give a damn what she gets for her first birthday, but having a dad that gets excited about details in her life will be the most important factor in her future, her relationship with her future spouse, and your grandchildren, etc... So stop acting like a jealous bimbo and grow up. That's my advice.

Answer 4

At one year old, she most likely won't even be able to ride the silly thing, I would say that where the issue of safety is concerned, you should NOT back down to your feelings, be sure your daughter ALWAYS wears a safety helmet and plan on the fact that your daughter won't be able to ride it for quite sometime and also, if you make sure she always wears her safety gear, she isn't likely to go out and take a joy ride without you, so, you should be OK. If this was a motorized toy, I would fight harder, Also, once your overly testosteroned man realizes your daughter isn't really able to go speeding through the neighborhood at the speed of light, He will get bored and you can hide the thing for a few more years. But, if you are teaching the safety gear from the get, you are ahead of the game.
Your husband is a dork. And he should grow up. Or, you need to have a son....or NOT, he might start trying to get HIM in a big Wheel...IN-VETRO!

Answer 5

Well fights are always two sided. I think your husband hears you, but you think that since you aren't getting your way, you feel ignored. He just disagrees. May I make a suggestion? Let him get it for her. Its a gift he wants to give her and it means he'll be spending quality time with her. I know you are concerned with her safety, make a deal that if she rides it, he must be with her, and she gets to wear a helmet. That will protect her from any Real danger. She'll live from a few scratches, if that happens. I can see you're frustrated, I've been there lots with my daughter. For your sake, spend some loving one on one time with ur hubby, thank him for his good heart and tell him how much you appreciate him. Breathe. You're a good mom, worried and you have a right to be. But dont let something so small have such an effect on ur marriage. The best gift you guys can give ur daughter is to show her how to have a healthy relationship. Good Luck. I hope it all works out for you. :)

Answer 6

I know a family where one of the kids who was 3 rode a Big wheels down the driveway and into traffic and was killed on Christmas day just after he got the thing. He is crazy to want to put a one year old in a power wheel. It is not age appropriate. A tricycle is also too old for a one year old. She just started to walk and is still learning to balance. She could fall off and hit her head. A rocking horse that is low to the ground is more appropriate. My father gave our oldest daughter a low to the ground rocking lamb with a good seat when she was one and she loved it. It was low enough that if she fell off, she wouldn't get hurt. Have your pediatrician speak to him. That Drea who answered is an idiot.

Answer 7

WOW!!! you have some point of view on life missy... first you should be so glad that your husband is so head over heals in love with being a father to his daughter... or maybe that's the whole problem? you sound like a young family. maybe you should have not married a man that loves children so much. maybe you did because you wanted to be the dominant one in your relationship? and mother your husband (control him)... what ever the case that fact seems to be that you would rather control them and be jealous of your daughters attention then find a compromise and allow your husband the right to love his child and show that love in his own way.I'll bet your mother ruled your home too. and I'll bet she hated your father on some other level and taught that to you too. (how bad men are) you better wake up woman or someday you may find your self a divorced mother and he'll find someone to have another family with and you'll be left to explain to your daughter why she doesn't have her father around watching her grow up. If you think of your husband as a kid then you will never see him as your man and her father. and if this is the case then ITS YOU TO BLAME because you picked him. so you had better ask you self whats going on in your head (your life) that you would do such a thing to your self your husband and now your daughter...

Answer 8

When my kids were that age, half the time they would ignore the gifts and play with the boxes.

You should tell your husband to get a power wheels for himself if he wants one so bad and get something recommended for a one year old.

Answer 9

i would stick to your guns there are safety ages on all childrens toys e.t.c for a reason they can be dangerous and you need to take care of ur baby (men never grow up ) tell him NO END OF CONVERSTION ask him what would he do if she went on it then accidently fell off it and hit her head and became brain damaged or worse die its extremely dangerous try to explain to him if he still wont listen ask some 1 in his family to step in and have a word like his mom , dad , brother , sister but do it calmly dont argue he may think ur doing it to be mean to him ( i know ur not u need to try and think the way a man is thinking ) and let him know that no matter what he says the answer is no and if he still goes on he can go home and think about the consequences his little bit of '' fun '' will be like if he hurts your daughter

i dont like the answer drea gave. very immature not very nice at all did u read the AGE LIMIT IS 3 YRS OLD she is trying to protect her innocent 1YR old daughter now grow up. there are dangers... thats why there are age limits on toys .. stupid

Answer 10

Firstly, I would not recommend letting your 1 year old on a power wheels. That is just plain dangerous.

If your hubby is treating you with such disrespect..it is not a good sign. Mutual respect is paramount in maintaining relationships that work. I would recommend marital therapy.