The Tears In My Eyes
Today I said I was over you,
but I'm not good at lying.
When my friend pulled me in her arms,
I'm ashamed to say that I cried.
Chorus: I just want to hold you.
All I want is for you to be mine.
I know that you only like me as a friend,
so I can't stop the tears in my eyes.
I called you today,
and the sweet sound of your voice
took my breath away.
I made myself start smiling,
but my heart of hearts was dying.
I wanted to tell you what I had to say.
Chorus
Wrapped in my blanket,
thoughts of you in my head,
nothing would make sense to me,
not a word that you said.
I like you too much,
to really know the truth.
I just wish that you only knew.
Chorus
Not a breath not a heart beat,
means as much as you do to me.
I have no idea how I could
tell you that.
All I want is to hold you,
and it's all 'cuz I know you.
I wonder if anything can be said.
Chorus
Oh no, not the tears that fall from my eyes.
2006-06-09 18:19:21 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
-6
2006-06-10 16:17:46 · answer #1 · answered by crystal & benjamin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
5
2006-06-09 18:24:42 · answer #2 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
6
2006-06-09 18:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by slim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8
2006-06-09 18:23:52 · answer #4 · answered by chabela0731 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um oookk let's see- I'd give it an 7.8 out 0f 10!
why?
well you asked for constructive riticism so here it is:
first of all- I like the lyrics, I like the words. In fact, the first thing that came to mind and veen started automaticalyl playing in my head was "This Love" by Maroon 5- so I was kind of reading your song and replaying the Maroon 5 song in my head...
so basically, it has the attitude of all those love songs.
Also- you don't really get the idea across. Though the words are strong, you never mention thje word "love". I what you're trying to convey without that word is "love"-- well, then you're not really getting the point across. It seems more like you "like" the person, not "love him".
The lyrics are good, the words nicely chosen, and there's a type of beat to it all- but I would suggest making the love a bit stronger, and the bond a bit deeper.
Good Job, though!
2006-06-10 16:13:49 · answer #5 · answered by sweateredpanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9
2006-06-09 18:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by lexieleigh33 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 1/2
2006-06-09 18:23:10 · answer #7 · answered by mysticfairy74 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't want to rate it because I can't find the rhythm in it. The way you have it written, there isn't much rhyming and it doesn't flow very well. It's more like a letter you've written to some one. The emotion is there, it just doesn't roll. It may be totally different to music, but if I were going to rate it the way it is read, I'd have to say about a 3.
2006-06-09 18:36:31 · answer #8 · answered by curious george 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 I think the first verse could use some work. I write songs all the time too. Good luck!
2006-06-09 20:44:33 · answer #9 · answered by cassy c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
8 I would really like to hear that with music, I think it would be great if i had the tune in y head to go with the words.
2006-06-09 18:24:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋