Naive Heart
Thoughts race in my head as i see you,
"I love you, and you dont know it",
Thoughts race in my head as i speak,
And yet...the words i want never come out.
My naive heart falls for the first girl that comes by,
Falling deeply into nothing more than an infatuation.
My naive heart falls for you,
But these feelings are those that you shall never know.
There is a pain that i feel everyday,
The pain from such unrequited love.
There is an unbearable pain that i feel,
And yet i could not live without it.
I wish i could find the courage to tell you,
I wish i could find the strength,
But soon we will go our separate ways and i we will forget about each other,
Leaving me with nothing but my naive heart, vulnerable to the next girl that walks by.
I was never good at writing, this was just to get my emotions out there, anywhere but my head...thoughts? constructive criticism please
2006-06-09 17:16:22 · 6 answers · asked by this guy over here 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this was not gotten off the internet...and im not even sure it can be considered a poem, i was just trying to expressing myself...
2006-06-09 17:24:04 · update #1
that you guys thought this came off the internet, means that its really good...so, thank you?
2006-06-09 17:27:30 · update #2
You know, I love to write poems too. Naive heart has touched my soul. It's so simple and yet it depicts true love which is unsaid and unknown to the one loved. I could relate the hurting to be brought about by the future separation with my experience. I could see the sincerity of the love unsaid but the one loving is so helpless to let the woman know that someone out there someone loves her so much.
You are a good writer that you should continue writing poems. You could penetrate the readers' being. I was carried by your poem to the extent that I wish that someone in this whole wide world could give me the love that the subject of your poem has in his heart for that woman.
The best of luck to your future writings and I just hope that I can find them again right here at Yahoo Answers.
2006-06-09 17:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Great poem too bad the person will never know how you feel as I think you are a very sensitive person & someone would be lucky to know your feelings.
2006-06-10 00:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by silhouette 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Straight from the heart. So beautiful. signed born2damromantic
2006-06-10 02:28:17 · answer #3 · answered by born 2 d-mn romantic 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
not even 2 lines of it rhyme....and although poems dont have to rhyme, they should at least have a rhythmatic flow to them. make the words flow like a river from your mouth and make them smooth for the mind.
2006-06-10 00:22:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you wrote that, congratulations and i respect you. if you got it off the internet, theres no way youll get a girl.
2006-06-10 00:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by sarasugar 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is pretty good! If you got it off the internet then that is low.....
2006-06-10 00:24:50 · answer #6 · answered by Flower child 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋