I recently lost a friend to a bunch of hearsay and a stupid comment. What do you do to recover from it? I still miss him but I don't know that I can be friends with him again. How do i decide? When do you get to confide in that person about personal things? 1 month? 5 months? A year maybe? Or am i supposed to never be upset and like EVERYONE? Help!
2006-06-09 17:11:18 · 10 answers · asked by aeh8482 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It's really hard to figure when you've known someone long enough to confide in them. Sheesh, I've been betrayed so many times I can't even count them. It's going to happen, unless you lock yourself in a cloistered convent (and it might even happen there). You have to accept that people do that to each other. Yeah, it hurts. But you move on. It may not seem like it right now while you're hurting, but you will heal and move on, make new friends, maybe be hurt and betrayed a couple more times, but you will survive it, and you'll be stronger for it.
Personally, I generally don't reveal any potentially harmful secrets to anyone, no matter how long I've known them. I hope that doesn't sound paranoid, but people are human. And if they get PO'd at you, they might betray you in a moment of anger.
KITY - Keep It To Yourself
2006-06-09 17:21:53 · answer #1 · answered by Diana 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When we tell ourselves that a certain person is never going to hurt us we set ourselves up to expect too much. We tell ourselves something unrealistic. Then if and when that person dfoes hurt us we find that especially hard to take. We were not prepared for it.
It is best not to confide in people. If you must confide in someone confide in the spirit you pray to.(you pray to God or however you pray..) Don't confide in human associates. It makes you too vulnerable. Nevermind 1 month or 5 months or a year; keep your own council. If they want to confide in you then have the strength of character never to abuse that confidence but do not expect anyone to give that service to you.; if you don't expect it, you won't be disappointed.
Know that anyone may break your heart. Don't have it happen as a surprise. You'll recover better.
2006-06-10 00:42:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends normally hurt ppl the most b/c thats the person you tend to share everything with-feelings, beliefs, dreams/goals.... you tell them secrets and when something happens where you seperate and no longer are friends it hurts alot. it's not like you've known this person for a week and then you have a fall out. it's deeper than that and it hurts like a wound. it's really hard to just turn around and act like nothing happen...
2006-06-13 09:38:13 · answer #3 · answered by sco0byy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sad for you because I know how it feels. I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease 6 years ago and I don't know if my friend were scared or if they just got tired of my always being to weak and sick to see them but I lost all my friends. It hurts badly. If you can talk to your friend about what happened do so. Friends are so very important. Live is sad without them. Try to talk to your friend.
2006-06-10 00:18:13 · answer #4 · answered by mischiefmaker_kc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because the heart is made for that purpose. It has to break ultimately. Donate your broken heart to some needy person and get another transplanted in lieu of that.
2006-06-10 00:28:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are the individual you tend to let your guard down, and are your self, and it is only natural to be hurt more by them than strangers.
I lost a friend of over 25 years, and its been a couple years, and I haven't been able to forgive him.
2006-06-10 00:20:24 · answer #6 · answered by KC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend probably feels lousy about it, too. Give it some time to cool off, and maybe you'll both be ready to put it past you. Maybe you'll never trust him again. I wouldn't. He sounds like an @$$$0|(.
2006-06-10 00:30:56 · answer #7 · answered by bunstihl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recover from "it"?
0_o
It wasn't a plane crash. I mean, it wasn't a single event ... when a plane crashes that's it, it doesn't crash on and on and on.
Are you saying that the person is no longer in your life?
What's there to decide? Sounds like you're making a contract with yourself ... or, worse, writing a script for tomorrow and next week. Gadzooks kiddo ...
2006-06-10 00:17:16 · answer #8 · answered by hfx_ben 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
JUST GO AND MAKE YOURSELF CLEAR .A TRUE FRIEND ALWAYS LISTENS TO YOU,EVEN DURING HARD TIMES.BUT IF YOUR FRIEND DENIES TO LISTEN,MAKE YOUR PRESENCE FELT, OTHERWISE IGNORE IT ALTOGETHER.END OF A FRIENDSHIP IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD!REMEMBER-IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING,SET IT FREE,IF IT COMES BACK,ITS YOURS IF IT DOES NOT, IT NEVER WAS.
2006-06-10 00:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by anjali10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
friends break your heart the most because they are just that-friends
2006-06-10 00:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋