child support?

Question

I wrote my husbands resume found him a job and took him to work everyday. I nursed him back to health after he was in the icu two weeks ago. Amoung other things like cleaning his clothes and paxking his lunch and cooking etc. This week he left me for the secretary at work. He has not called. He is living with her now. He calls and tells me that he does not want me to put him on child support or alimony. He wants to give me money when he feels like it. He want to be able to walk into the house we shared anytime he pleases. But I can not know wherer he lives. I am like wtf? He says if I don;t agree he will leave the country and i won't get anything and our daughter won't see him ever. What would you do?

Our daughter is only 2.5 months old

Answer 1

You need to file for custody immediately, otherwise he can take off with your daughter and it's not kidnapping. Do not let him take her for visitation until you have custody or else he can take off with her and get custody.

You need to get some income coming in. Are you in college?

Answer 2

Retain an attorney now! I don't care, and nor should you where he goes, or what he says, or what he does. You have a responsibility to yourself and your baby to ensure that you have a decent life. Having a father, and a husband with such disrespect deserves everything and anything that may happen to him.
Whether or not he pays or doesn't pay child support, you will regret it the for the next 18yrs that you did not do things legally and thru the court system.
I assure you, while you may not know where he lives the courts, etc will when they need to.
Change the locks or move on the house, he has given up his "rights" by moving in with the third party, he has made his decision, you need to make some of your own.
I know you must be scared, it is also possible he is as well, but as a couple, married with a child, both of you should have been able to deal with whatever it is that "flew up his butt" in a adult and responsible manner. Such as it is, this was the wrong way to go about leaving, and is compounded by his total disregard for the rules. But, that will change soon if you follow the legal process afforded to you.
Even if the two of you find a way to work out the fear of being a parent, and decide to work on your marriage, it does not mean that you can't protect you and the baby in the meantime.
I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

Girl let him do what he got to do, leave the country try to change his name etc.. You have to worry about you and the baby so get yourself a damn good lawyer and take him for what he 's worth and that includes child support. Be glad that he did this and you know that he is doing this because he could have just carried on without ever saying anything. The reason being is you have a opportunity to get what you got coming to you for all your good works that went un-noticed.Please don't allow this man to get away with what every cheating husband only dream of doing and that is to have you as a door mat and you not say or do anything about it. Your child is too young to even know right now that he is not there and it's better then him coming i and out of her precious life at a whim because that can effect her as well. Find you a good man that is willing to be a father to your child and whom love you unconditionally and only you. Men is like a bus one comes every five minutes so catch a good one.

Answer 4

if he leaves the country he 's doing you a favor, guys like that even if you do get full custody, child support, will never pay,
they'ld rather go underground, so in effect you should treat the realtionship as if you are widowed.. and basically treat him like he no longer exsists. The aggrivation he will put you through as he fights this and that will be something you will ive with and will stress out and your child, though young, will see it. It's better at a young age that a child grow up with a happy and nuturing mother than one who is in a state of stress. It's of course always better to have a 2 parent household.. but that's not going to be the case on your situation. Take him to court if you must, but keep an upbeat profile for your childs sake and NEVER let her see your momnets of weakness when and if they come.

Answer 5

Ay, Negrita! I know that what everyone has said is true. Get a lawyer, pro bono, if you can't afford one. Do what you have to do even if you never see a dime from him. Just ask yourself this question, what kind of father would he be if he doesn't even care if he never sees your daughter any more? Does your daughter deserve to be ignored? Don't you think your daughter would be better off without a father than to have a horrible father like that? This is the man that will influence everything that she feels about herself from now in the future. If she sees that it is okay for her father to treat you this way and manipulate you like this then she will accept it as truth and have problems in her own life in the future.
Negrita, I know that this is difficult for you. I'm going through a bad time in my marriage as well. Just like you I'm trying to find the courage to do the right thing for my kids, too.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

Ooooh my gosh. You need to find out if he has any money in the bank, you also need to get a judgment against him for child support. That is just despicable. Please don't let him intimidate you, whatever you do it won't be out of revenge but it will be the right thing for your child. Perhaps it is a good thing that she is only 2.5 months old so that she won't know what a disappointment of a man and dad her father is.

If he leaves the country, then it would be just as well. Don't worry about him, do what's best for you and your little one.

Be strong and best of luck Negrita...

Answer 7

I'd push him to back up his words, take his a$$ to court and make him pay his child support! He leaves the country it won't matter anywhere he works if he uses his social security number he will be tracked down. If he does end up not paying child support then he doesn't deserve to see his daughter. She deserves a father who has the balls to do right by her. He makes it sound like he is doing you a favor, thats so stupid, don't buy into it. Get a lawyer lady, do it fast and do it now!

Answer 8

What a piece of crap i wish guys like him would say those things in front of me I hate those big piles of worthless crap you should thank god he left because he would be a worthless husband and probably never help you in life he is looking for a freedom from responsobility maybe when you meet a real man and he loves your child maybe he will bow out and let your new man be a real father because that piece of crap isnt GET AN ATTORNEY AND NOT ONLY NAIL HIM BUT DRILL HIM TO THE WALL

Answer 9

I'd call his bluff, and speak to an attny immediately, especially for child support. Please be sure to give the attny those details he mentions. And if you can get alimony, do so! Tag on a restraining order as well. He has no business in your home at all, let alone when he so chooses.
Obviously he's never 'gonna feel like' paying anything at any time.

Answer 10

Man this guy is a jerk. Divorce him get your alimony and child support. He has no right to move out of the martial house and than expect you to just be okay about everything and let him just come and go and throw you money when he pleases. I am sorry you have to go through this.

Answer 11

I'd sue his sorry a** for child support and alimony. He has no concern for you or your child. Plus if you do sue for child support and he gets behind then his sorry a** can end up in jail. A man like this will say anything. I bet you if the woman he is with gets pregnant and if he leaves her you can bet she will go after him. I worked for a state agency and helped for three years to collect and saw too many sorry guys who will try to get out of their responsibility of caring for their children. They will even go so far as trying to say you are an unfit mother and getting custody. I'd sue him for divorce, get fully custody, and ask for support as well as the house (and change the locks). Get an attorney and this will help. If you are afraid he will try to hurt you get a restraining order. Good luck and God Bless!!