My sister is bi-polar with hallucinations and delusions, should I allow her to come around my children?

Question

The last time I did she brought her boyfriend without my permission and started fighting with him around my three young children, I kicked him out and called 911, she also turned on perverted rap songs very loud and my children became really hyper because of this, even after I turned the music off. She is heavily sedated, but still scares me by speaking of violent thaughts against friends, but swears that she wouldnt hurt family. My religion, islam, tells me to be kind to people with mental illness, and my husband has allowed me to decide if she can come over, but I need your opinions to help me think it over.
what do you think?

Answer 1

You shouldn't ban her from seeing your kids - they are her nieces and nephews. You need to be honest with her and tell her that when she comes over she needs to come alone. Let her visit with the kids - but don't leave them alone, monitor them.

Answer 2

All religions teach kindness to others including those who are impaired in some way either physically or mentally, so it is not really a matter of religion. However, being kind to your sister does not mean that you must be unkind to your children by exposing them to violence.

You may consider going to your sister's home to visit. That way, you would be allowing your children to see their aunt and if the situation becomes uncomfortable, you could leave. You can set more boundaries by making the visit a more formal occasion. Set a date and time for the visit. It may be best to include your husband in the visit so that he will understand the situation.

Answer 3

I would say to consider your own children first. I know you are reluctant to completely sever all links with your sister too and this situation is probably tearing you apart.

I would suggest that if you do decide to meet with her that you do it on neutral ground so that if she kicks off again you can get out and quickly. But i wouldn't involve the children again who are probably rather impressionable.

Let her know that you are NOT rejecting her but that you are well aware that she needs help with her illness but that your kids aren't the ones to be able to give it.

you may need to repeat that in different ways until it sinks in through her illness.

also be very firm with her about behaviours that you WANT from her and also about behaviours you DON'T want too. she may resist that but will eventually learn to appreciate you doing that.

I am glad too that you have an understanding husband - but do make sure that he is around if you do have her around again as sometimes the presence of another person can make a difference in a mentally ill persons behaviour

Answer 4

This is sort of irrelevant, but if she has hallucinations, she's not bi-polar. There's something else wrong with her entirely.

You should try to set specific times when your sister can come over; never allow an impromtu visit (obviously, discuss this with her when she is calm). Explain what is okay and not okay around your children. This way, you can remain faithful to your beliefs And protect your children.

Answer 5

i'd be a bit worried about that. i'm not a psychologist or a doctor but from what i know hallucinations aren't typical symptoms of bi-polar disorder. i'd be concerned about it being something else. if you did allow her to visit i would set some very strict guidlines like only when your husband is home and not with any boyfriends etc.

Answer 6

honestly i would not even if she is your sister or regardless of your religon do you want this type of influence on your children do you really want to risk it your children should come first you can be kind to someone and not have them at your house all the time if you do decide to allow her at your house be careful watch her an your children very close. good luck with you decision i hope this helped :)

Answer 7

i know she is your sister but being bi polar is a chemical unbalance in the brain she is not safe to be around unless she is on her medication. You need to set rules for her just like you do for your kids your kids will respect that you want her in your like but only with boundaries. Be careful with out medication she can really hurt herself on someone else

Answer 8

Reguardless of her being your sister or not, but I would never allow ANYONE like that around my kids, family or not, and I don't care what religion you are dear..
Your children need to come first...

Answer 9

I would meet with her a few times and make sure she can be civil before exposing your children to her again.

Answer 10

No. Unless she has gotten some help and is supervised around them at all times by you, she should not be around them. She cannot control her emotions or actions.