how do i get over my husbands affair?

Answer 1

betrayal isn't something that can be shrugged away you spent your whole life dreaming about your marriage and family, now the ahole has cheated you of all your dreams, it isn't something you will forget soon. you need to realize that it had nothing to do with you, it is a flaw in his character. he would have done it no matter who he was married to. he made a promise to you. when people break their promise, they try to blame it on someone, like it was your fault he had no character, you pushed him into breaking his promise, don't believe it for a minute, you had no control over what that man decided to do. you can only control what you do, and you kept your promise. you may have craved attention while he was giving his attention to the other woman, but you honored your promise, that's all you were obligated to do.
you don't have to get over his affair, he has to get over it, you did nothing wrong. what have you got to get over, his deceitfulness. I don't think so. he lost , the trust he had gained is gone. don't be sorrowful for trusting someone you love. whatever cause his deceitfulness is in his head, not yours. he has to live with that the rest of his life.

Answer 2

You will never completely get over something like that and it depends upon how you found out about it.

Did you just feel that something was wrong, did he tell you or did she.

If he told you, it is easier because you know that he is being honest with you.

The best way to deal with it is to forgive him. Forgive once, if it happens again, show him the door because you know if it happens twice, it will happen again. When you do forgive him the first time, let him know that you won't forgive again.

Let him know that he hurt you very badly and that it will take time and proof before you can trust him again but tell him that you will forgive him this time, and then leave it at that. Don't keep bringing it up over and over and over again. Don't use it to hurt him when you are upset with him or when the two of you are arguing. Pray to The Lord to help you and then get on with your life.

I wish you all the best and hope that everything turns out well for you.

Oh by the way my advise comes from first hand experience and although I have never forgotten my husband's mistake, I really have forgiven him and before it happened, I was very jealous but after wards, I took on the attitude that if he did it again, it would be his loss not mine and now I am no longer jealous. He is very jealous but I really know that he is the lucky one.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 3

First off, you have to come to terms with it in your heart. If you can honestly forgive him, totally live with the fact he cheated on you, and accept your own forgiveness, then you can get threw this. It will take time, and effort. But anything worth having is worth working hard at. I think that the fact that you want to try to forgive him, is a great decision. Too many people today, end up divorcing over any thing, because its hard to keep a good marriage on track. So "BRAVO" to you, for being a fighter and not a quitter!!!

Answer 4

It will be very very hard getting over it, I had to try and get over what my now ex wife did to me, and I always had the bad thought of the affair in the back of my mind so we wound up in divorce anyway. It has to be something ultimately that you want to do, and it has to be done for yourself, Just keep telling yourself that you are the most important person in your life, and that you love yourself.

Answer 5

With lots of love, patience and time. First off, is this the first time it's happened? Even if it is, you have to consider what this has done with your "trust factor" of him. You can't spend the rest of your marriage always "worrying will he do it again"? Does your marriage mean enough to you to try and work this out and can you ever be comfortable with him again? You have to do a lot of "soul searching" on this one and follow your gut instinct. You know yourself better than anyone. It is a pain that will not go away, but you have to weigh all factors and decide if it is a "pain" you can live with a accept.

Answer 6

Chances are you won;t women tend to have long memories, and men have a difficult time leaving the women they have affairs with.
If you read the Book His Needs, Her needs, By Willard harley jr. it explains iN detail about affairs and what actions you can take if your caught in the middle of one. ( Highly suggest you read it. )

God Bless and grant you guidance in life.

Answer 7

Seek counseling and help to try to get past this pain and rejection and hole this has caused in your life and marriage! Is your husband sorry and remoresful and wanting to work on the marriage? If so seek marriage counseling with him but if not separate and see where to go from there and pray about it as well!

Answer 8

Prayer! minute by minute. This is grounds for divorce, however the bible teaches us to get counseling and forgive. And only when you have tried counseling together and alone do you consider divorce. Remember to Love yourself first! Mistakes can be made and forgiven. For when Jesus was asked how many times do i forgive a person His answer was: As many times as you expect forgiveness. but remember to be smart do not allow yourself to be taken for granted.

Answer 9

You can forgive but never forget. he has to earn your trust and love back if he is worth it. Everyone makes mistakes but there are always consequenses and he has to know that. If you love him and he loves you, you two will find a way to get past it. just don't bring it up in arguments or hang it over his head if you guys work it out.

Answer 10

have a 1 on 1 and find out why he did what he did