So, here is the problem- I am living with Mike, who I love. We are becoming less and less compatable by the day. We are just very different people, and its to the point where he is emotionally abusive, which is a real bummer.
On the other hand, I've got Ian. Ian is a great guy. We get along so well. We are very compatable. We want the same things, we enjoy the same things. And he wants to be with me. But...he is married.
So, basically, I'm torn. I know its gotta be one of them. I just don't know who...
Ian or Mike?
2006-06-09 15:53:56 · 30 answers · asked by Amanda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
*Please note, that I am not having an affair, it is just a thought to consider at the moment.
2006-06-09 16:01:43 · update #1
Technically it's not like you can really have Ian! He's married, remember!!
Anyway if you don't feel fulfilled with Mike anymore, you should pack up!
Maybe the answer is in this third guy, you haven't met yet because you're too focused on those two.
2006-06-09 15:58:27 · answer #1 · answered by fabee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be by yourself because you are not ready for a relationship of the serious kind with anyone. First of all, you should never remain with someone who is abusive to you in any way whatsoever. Secondly, you can't start up a relationship with a married man - he has a wife and just think - there is an example of emotional abuse flowing her way if you do this. Thirdly, just because you and someone else have the same things in common does not make a relationship. You can't know it all in that relationship because he 'is" married. I am sure his own wife could tell you some things you don't know. Take the high road - get on with your life -find someone else who is not attached. Take time to get to know that person and know if he is abusive or married. You don't want to bring other people into this mix - it's not fair, and it's not right. Remember - the seed you plant today will determine what is growing and what will come up in your garden. You want happy flowers, free and beautiful and sweet smelling. What goes around - comes around.
2006-06-09 23:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHY does it have to be one of them! Leave Mike if he is getting abusive. If Ian will cheat on his wife he is not so great either. If Ian and you are meant to be you can wait until he is divorced or at least seperated. Don't go out with a an abusive or married guy.
2006-06-09 22:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by lizgolde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not come in between a marriage. let ian decide, and try to work his marriage out, especially if there is any children. make sure you let ian know you will always be close friends... You can leave Mike, you do not need the abusive comments.... do the right thing.. be happy:)
2006-06-09 23:01:14 · answer #4 · answered by gr8txn58 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love a person for who he is and what he is. Dont choose because you want to impose something in your mind. Choose the one that you truly love. It is nice if you find someone who does things you also like. But sometimes, this is boring also because it only makes life monotonous. On the other hand, Mike may be different. But why dont take it as a challenge. Challenge to change him for a better person but not to change his likes. If you love Mike, lean to adjust and know what he likes. And along the way, show him and teach her what you like to do. In that way, there's a continuous mystery and excitement. Everyday, you'll discover new thing with each other. :-D
2006-06-09 23:01:29 · answer #5 · answered by cernad06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget both of them and find a single man. It wouldn't work with Ian b/c if he's messing with you and is married no matter what the case is with his marriage. He would cheat on you. Mike sounds like he's a butt!
Just start fresh and go on the hunt for a good man. You deserve it.
:)
2006-06-09 22:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by ▒Яenée▒ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm......... its difficult
Are you sure that you really love Ian?
Because he already got a wife? Place yourself as his wife!!
And if you dont tell either Mike or Ian about your codition then you are cheating with so many people : Mike, Ian and his wife and maybe yourself
Try to ask your heart ........
2006-06-09 22:59:28 · answer #7 · answered by Curiosity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does it have to be either of them? Get smart girl. One emotionally abuses you; the other is married (so he is abusive also -- right now he's abusing his wife by fooling around with you.)
You deserve better!!! Who says you have to be with a guy right now? You can't define your life by another person.
What do you like to do? Go out with girl friends, go to concerts, ball games, amusement parks, swimming, etc. whatever you enjoy. Forget guys for awhile and develop your personality -- then when you least expect it Mr. right comes along.
2006-06-09 23:03:54 · answer #8 · answered by please remove me from here 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always say that you must finish one situation before starting another. Yes it will be hard and someone is bound to be hurt but at least you can say that you were honest. As far as the married man it is really bad news. It is not fair to you and if he'll cheat on her he'll cheat on you. Take care of you and find your own happiness. Best of luck.
2006-06-09 23:00:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A married man who cheats on his wife will cheat on you. Maybe Mike is abusive because your not faithful. Or maybe you should dump them both.
2006-06-09 22:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by yourdoneandover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋