Okay, my boyfriend went to prison a yr and 3 months ago for drugs and stealing things to get drugs. I know that he has been clean for the past year and 3 months and many have flat out told me that it is easier to get drugs in prison than it is out of prison...while he was in prison i gave birth to our son who will be a year on June 20th. And my boyfriend will be home June 14th. I want to be with him and I want to marry him but i am having a hard time deciding how long i should wait before we get married, or look into buying a home together. I truly believe that if he didnt care and prison wasnt an eye opener he would have been doing drugs in there. Can anyone give me advice. And please dont say leave him because thats not a good idea unless he screws up again. I just need advice on how long i should wait to get married etc. I would like to have another child with him as well. And I would like to maybe be pregnant by the end of this yr. Im just confused and dont know what to do. Thanks
2006-06-09 15:25:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a really hard place to be...hard to separate your heart from your head....It is true that the "shock" of being in prison does change some people, but it is also possible that negative influences have affected him as well.
If I were you I would just wait it out awhile, watch and see how things go....if he is back into the drugs, you are going to know. Just as if you will know if he isn't.
Things to watch for: is he hanging out with some of his "drug buddies" that he use to hang with? Is he actively seeking employment? When employed what is he spending his money on?
Putting a time frame is hard to put on this, is he going to be on parole? I would think that he would be. You seem to be a reasonable person who wants what is best for your child and yourself.....use your instincts.....Good luck and God Bless.
2006-06-09 16:32:31 · answer #1 · answered by deb 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you love him very much. I have a brother that does drugs when he's out of jail. He's great inside, But once he gets out, within the year that he's out he goes back to the same old ****. he swearers that things will be better each time he gets out of jail. But since he's been 18 he's never been out more than two years at a time. Try to wait at least a year b4 you decide on marriage or another child.I know that you love him.But sometimes that just isn't enough. Don't jump into it and end up ruining you and your child's life. Give it some time b4 you decide what is best 4 u and your child/ren.
2006-06-09 15:57:18 · answer #2 · answered by miste19 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone can turn around their life, but once your boyfriend is free he may have a hard time. You may want to get serious soon, but you have to think of your child. If your boyfriend has really turned his life around thats great, but I would give it six months to get into a rhythm with you guys as a family before making it legal or getting a home together. Once your both comfortable and have long term plans than good luck with having another baby. I hope you guys are talking about these things.
2006-06-09 15:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by lizgolde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would deffinatley wait for at least a year to even start to thing about doing any of the things you have mentioned. He should have to prove himself to you that he isnt going to screw up again. Be supportive, its great if he really is clean, but as you said yourself, a hell of alot of people are on drugs in jail. Take it slow, think of your son, and good luck! I believe everyone deserves a second chance, but just be wary, if not for your sake, for your sons sake.
2006-06-09 15:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by kjay 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible he has changed his life. Dont be pregnant again until you know he is resolved to live right and take care of a family. Also dont get pregnant before married. You need to know he is committed to you and the family.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-06-09 15:29:29 · answer #5 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetie, sweetie, I nearly cried at your question..... By all means I am rooting for you to work it out with him, if he's a changed man. you've heard the drill about putting your baby first. I would wait at least one and half years to even think of marriage and by no means get pregnant until two years after a solid healthy God based marriage
2006-06-09 18:51:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not have another child with him right now if it was me personally, I am not being mean just honest and truthful with you here and he needs to prove to you that he is clean and sober and that he will stay that way and dont take him back till he proves himself! Is he in counseling? Has he been through rehab?
2006-06-09 15:33:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People grow up, he might stay clean... but I would wait on another child until you're sure.
2006-06-09 15:29:06 · answer #8 · answered by Bunny*Run 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you asked a question .. but you answered it yourself..if it was me i would live with him but not get married for a couple years..
2006-06-09 15:30:28 · answer #9 · answered by purple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but DO NOT MARRY HIM!!!! HE WILL CHEAT ON U!! marry him in about a million year!!^^
2006-06-09 15:30:39 · answer #10 · answered by wondpook 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋