He is a recovering addict and just finished 30 day Rehab in FL. He is staying in Florida and has started a new job and has a huge support team there and a great sponsor. I am home in CT with my 2 kids (ages 15 & 5). He would like for me to move to FL to start a new life with him. I love him very much, and I don't know what to do.
2006-06-09 15:20:46 · 26 answers · asked by Rmb2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Congratulations to the both of you! That makes so many people proud you know, even those of us who dont know you. To see someone move a mountain and progress.
I guess its true how there is a time for everyhting. Sometimes we need our space but to me, and in my honest opinion, it sounds like its time for you and your kids to get back together with your hubby.
Its a family decision. You might also need to ask your kids how they feel about this. Im so glad for you. Keep up the great work.
And in any case you decide to go back to the one who loves you so mcuh, please be caseful out there and have a safe trip back home.
Home.....is where the heart is.
2006-06-09 15:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by geniusflightnurse 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel there is more to this story. Why is he doing rehab in Fl and you are living in Ct with the children. My answer really depends on a number of things, if there was any form of abuse going on between you and him or even if the children were around, that's a big NO! Not to sound pessimistic, 30 days is really not a very long time for a turn around to have you uproot the children and move down there. I understand that when a person is in recovery, they must remove themselves from all areas of temptation, however, that's a big decision. Based on the limitations to your question, I would say to give this a LOT of thought, factor in the children, and any and everything that has happened and make a smart decision. In life, we never know if it is right or wrong, but if you give it some real thought, all you can do is what you feel is in the best interest of your children and yourself. Also let me add, sometimes people think when it comes to the kids, well they need both parents. That's only true when both parents are standing on a rock hard foundation. Good Luck to you!
2006-06-09 22:43:52 · answer #2 · answered by SweetSatinDoll47 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as there was no physical abuse involved.
Let me repeat myself.
As long as there was no phyiscal abuse involved...
It sounds like you should probably go down there and catch up with him.
You didn't mention what you would give up leaving CT, like your own support and family though.
You are posting here like you still love him very much, and feel like he can be a good husband and father, minus the addiction.
I sense though there is something you left unsaid, or you never would have asked the question here.
Kids are 5 and 15 eh? Puts you folks both in the high 30's most likely.
So what did you leave out?
What you posted seems like a no brainer. Something is missing.
Think about what you left out, and why it matters to you.
2006-06-09 22:52:25 · answer #3 · answered by diogenese19348 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would give him 6 months of proven rehab before I pick up and move the kids and household. That way you will have a good proof that his recovery is well on its way... and that his support team is behind him... as that is a big step to uproot the kids and life in your "home" state of CT and move to FL... it is a whole different culture down there...
2006-06-09 22:38:31 · answer #4 · answered by Callie Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him very much then go to FL! Your husband has a fresh start and like you said, a great support team and he is willing to work on your marriage. Moving to FL with your kids will be a nice fresh start for your whole family. Moving might seem like a big thing - and it is, but it's worth it to be with your hubby and for your kids to be with their Dad. You don't want to regret not trying to make things work with your hubby, a fresh start isn't a bad thing!
2006-06-09 22:24:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to love him where he is at and stay strong. You should move and be with him and try to work the marriage out! It sounds like he is trying to change and be a better person and husband! I am so happy and proud for him and for you! I wish more couples and marriages would do this more! Things would be way different it people did! Congratulations to you and to him both!
2006-06-09 22:24:12 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once an addict, always an addict. He will always be a recovering addict.
Stay where you are.
Tell him if he stays clean for a year, you will CONSIDER moving.
Drag it for another year. If still clean, and if you choose, move there but not with him, live in separate dwellings.
Good luck in your decision.
2006-06-09 22:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by menndebi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you both have conquered your problems with this addiction there is no reason you cant live happy lives together. Just make sure you dont carry the damage into the future and only hold him accountable for future problems.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
2006-06-09 22:23:31 · answer #8 · answered by msqtech 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, i am probably giving you an answer to your question but mine as well as i am in an identical situation. Mine has been sober for 50 days. Although i hesitate like you and am unsure of what to do, i KNOW i will go. If you love someone, sometimes there is always another chance in your back pocket.
2006-06-09 22:27:18 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it a bit more time. you don't need to rush to make a decision. He needs to break out of his old habits first and you coming around again might make him fall back into old patterns which might include the addictive substance. Keep in touch with him and tell him that you love him, but don't move back with him yet.
2006-06-09 22:24:16 · answer #10 · answered by stripedbook 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋