I am about to become 30 years old this year, I feel very old, how can I stop feeling old?

Answer 1

Stop the internal voice that's telling you you're OLD. Change what's on the recording.

5 years ago I came to NYC to take care of my aunt (who had pancreatic cancer and died) and my uncle (81), a playwrite and ex high school English teacher.

In March of that year, my uncle, who delighted in choosing just the right words, lost the ability to communicate -- just after learning his wife of 50 years was dying. In April, he lost his wife. His sister-in-law, grief-stricken over her sister's death so soon after her mother's and father's deaths, turned her anguish into irrational anger at him. (Not unusual for grieving people to lash out.) His wife's death hit him physically & he had to go back into the hospital the day after his wife died. He wasn't able to attend her funeral. He was hospitalized twice more that year. His very best friend of about 70 years died that fall.

I was feeling overwhelmed myself -- but from time to time during that year, I'd see this beautiful, infectious, full sunlight coming from behind a cloud smile on his face. I think I'd do anything for that smile, it makes me feel so good to look at.

When my uncle was able to communicate what made him smile so, he told me he was glad to be alive. And that feeling, REALLY is what I'm seeing and feeling when he smiles that way - the joy of being alive.

Prior to coming north to take care of him, I had a lot of friends who were really down in the dumps all the time. My mother told me I needed new friends. I, of course, thought my friends needed me. I had no idea I wasn't rescuing them; they were drowning me.

So, if you have a bunch of negative people around you, find new friends. How do you do that? Start doing things you always wanted to do. When you start doing things you enjoy, your happiness will attract others. As some have suggested, giving of yourself, helping others can do wonders -- but, if you're emotionally like me, you need to give the pity party people a pass.

Improve your internal message system - what you say to yourself. I'm 55 and wish I'd started on this when I was 30 [negative thinking -- change that to: isn't it wonderful I've still got so much time in front of me in which to enjoy the benefits of being positive].

My uncle didn't get his positive attitude overnight. Count your blessings. Discount the things that go wrong. Expect things to turn out for the best for you.

I thought all that stuff was baloney, I thought optimists were living in a dreamworld. But really, you only live once. Do you want to spend the whole of it, a miserable but "clear sighted" realist (read, pessimist)?

Through the experience of living with my uncle, I've discovered that being an optimist doesn't mean being a pollyanna. You can feel good emotionally AND have good come to you as a result. What's not to like with that plan?

I've seen my uncle recover from one health problem after another that should have killed him or left him bedridden or at the very least feeling very sorry for himself and "all he's had to go through". [I'm not cured of negative thinking yet. When I am, the phrase, all he's had to go through, won't occur to me. lol]

His doctor used to call my uncle the 'comeback kid', but after my uncle's "performance" this year, bouncing back from a seizure, surgery to drain fluid from his lungs, and a bowel resection at the ripe young age of 86, the doctor is speechless & just waves his hands, smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

The important thing is that my uncle isn't going around thinking how tough his life is. He's thinking about what he wants to do. He's recently been stuck with a walker and isn't happy with that. But he's convinced it's a temporary inconvenience -- just like those doctors keeping him in the hospital 3 times this year for 'minor' things. [Minor, I think means that it didn't kill him. LOL.] And I believe him - because he's relearned to keep his balance before, he's relearned to feed himself before, he's relearned to walk before. He's relearned to speak several times. He wants to relearn how to write.

He tells himself that things are good and that they are going to get better. And he really believes it. (He also takes the time to tell me as well as others how much he appreciates what I do for him. I am going to learn to be as positive. I'm working on changing my 'recording' He's made me a believer.)

He does what he can to help out around the apartment. He says he wants to contribute and he does. He says he enjoys washing the dishes. :-)

You're OLD? Please!!! (for me, the "omigod I'm old" sensation occurred when I was 28. For some reason, I had always thought 28 was 'the perfect age'. Take heart, as others have reassured you the feeling passes.

But I want more for you. I want you to get yourself some 'joie de vivre' (hearty enjoyment of live). Imagine living another 60 years really, really taking pleasure in being alive instead of just existing.

The trick really is in the messages you give yourself. People have suggested some positive affirmations to try -- e.g. if you're not in great shape, then, tell yourself that you deserve to be in great shape and that you are going to enjoy getting yourself into great shape, and then go out and do it.

If you're telling yourself, you're in a rut, that rut is just going to get deeper. When you hear that "voice", stop it & substitute: I think I'd like to -- learn ballroom dancing, take up singing, visit the museum, go ice skating, join a bookclub, take a walk -- whatever. [If you don't have a long list, get started on one. 60 years is going to give you plenty of time and opportunity & you want to spend the rest of your glorious life well.]

First opportunity you get (because you can't just hop out of your car to take that walk or go ballroom dancing when you're stuck in traffic on the way to work), take action to reach one of your "I'd like to" goals. Spend that time you are stuck in traffic thinking about all the wonderful things that are going to come your way now that you have this 'can do', life is grand, thank god I'm alive attitude.

[It helps to have someone with this attitude around you - a living example, so you can soak it in, when you have a relapse. My uncle's smile - when he looks around and realizes that he's walking down Broadway on his way to buy cheese at Zabars -- there's nothing like it, a shot in the arm of happiness. I'm looking forward to seeing him there again. But, meanwhile, I can turn and see that smile from time to time even as he pushes his walker around the East Side. Life is good. He affirms it every day.

I want a smile like that coming from inside me. I hope he sticks around another 5 or 10 years at least, because I have so much to learn from him. ;-D

Happy Birthday and may you have MANY happy returns of the day.

Answer 2

I felt the same way when I turned 30, until I turned forty ten years later...then I felt OLD. I'm sure 50 will make 40 look like a day in the park. So enjoy your youth because 70 is the new 40 and in this day and age,with folks living longer.You are still a teenager compared to centurians

I do know how you feel though. I remember at the age of 30 going to bars with my friends and thinking that all the people there were about 22 years old. I felt way older than them. Now 30 looks very young to me. So enjoy yourself at every age because as you get older you will only become more comfortable with yourself and who you are. With age comes wisdom dear.

Answer 3

This question is disheartening! lol I'm 29 and you ain't make me feel any better!!

No, seriously, there are many things to keep you feeling young. The first being to act young, meaning you are what you think. All that you have experienced in life isn't a negative, but a positive. You are at a level where maturity has sunk in and though you may not be in your early 20's anymore, you are more in touch with yourself and the world.

We feel old because life sometimes goes stagnant. The purpose that is supposed to fill our lives can diminish, to an extent. We then contemplate what life is and feel that it is passing by. This feeling is dealt with by remaining true to yourself and keeping busy.

So do that dance class you always want to do. Enrol in that painting school for the hobby that never happended. Spend more time with people your age so you can laugh at the mistakes of the young! You are at a great age for women. hitting 30 means they know enough to be confident in yourself and not give two hoots about what the world thinks.

You ain't old, girl, you are in your prime :)

Answer 4

For me it was when I reached the age of 35. I though "MY GOD, I will be age 40 in less than 5 years." "My life is almost over!"

Well now I am age 54 and life is the best it has ever been.

What changed every thing was the fact that, at age 35, I started weightlifting. Now I answer exercise questions on ALLEXPERTS to everyone. Go to Allexperts, look under health, then Strength Training OR Women's Health. I can show you ways that will completely change who you are and you will never feel old again!

Answer 5

30 is not old at all. Look at all the things you've accomplished and think if you were younger say 21, you wouldnt have all the great junk you have now. Think of all the knowledge you have that someone my age (20) doesnt. . . . . arent you glad your older? All the junk i still have to live and learn you've already got out of the way, your in the prime. . . over the younger foolish years but not into the older settled down years. Your the perfect age!

Answer 6

When I turned thirty I thought Iwas going to cry.You'll be alright. Treat yourself to a new wardrobe that says, Iam mature but not over the hill. Like somebody else said ,find a younger man. My husband is 8yrs. younger than me. He will keep you feeling superior. Try a new haircolor. Girlfriend Iam 33 and I don't look it that also helps keep me feeling good. Love yourself. And exercise is a plus to keep your skin and spirits up. Just love yourself and embrace this milestone in your life. You're just a young adult. And so are many of the people above who are thinking they're old.

Answer 7

You feel old and your just turning 30? Well its all in your own mind set, if you think old, you'll feel old and vise versa.Try a change in lifestyle, get a new hair cut, try some things you never done before go bungie jumping or rock climbing addventurous things.Good luck and Happy Birthday to you!

Answer 8

I'm going to be 30 too...but I don't feel it. Age is nothing but a number...I get told that I look like I'm 21 all the time so at least I have that to make me look good.

Maybe you can get yourself, (if you're not already), into awesome shape for the summer and maintain it. If you like what you see in the mirror, then you'll stop thinking about that dreadful number,..

Answer 9

I just turned 30 in May!! I can remember when 30 was old...but heck now that I'm there....I can see life is just beginning. Honestly it seems the older I get....the farther away OLD gets!
Just be happy about who you are, change what you can and embrace what you can't.
Things only get better with age.

Answer 10

I am 41 and didn't start feeling old until I turned 40. Think that is old? My fiance is 54! We call him old fart to tease him! lol but he gives it right back too.

Wait until you do turn 40, then you will definitely feel old. Turning 30 is nothing. You are still very young. In fact, I am still young and I know it, I just feel old sometimes.

Answer 11

30 is just a number, feeling young comes from the heart. Just go out and look at the world and you will see that 30 isn't so bad.