My husband has a good friend that is female she is much older than he is and she is married with three kids. The kids call him Uncle. He is also friends with her husband but he mostly keeps in touch with her. Is it normal in that situation that I feel jealous, even though I know that he wouldn't do anything like cheat? He tells me not be jealous and that I have no reason to be. I don't know if this is justifiable jealousy or I'm I just being insecure.
2006-06-09 13:36:13 · 8 answers · asked by JourneyToTheHeart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can understand how you feel. I believe a married man or woman should not spend a lot of time with another person of the opposite sex because things can happen. It is COMPLETELY NORMAL to feel jealous in this situation. Some people may even say, "You're just insecure! Get over it!" Ignore it because its FALSE ADVICE. Truth of the matter is, your husband has no business calling another woman for personal reasons or general conversation. Unless it was an important call or business related all right but anything else, its unappropriate.
What if you're having marriage problems? He calls his girl/friend to ventilate about his problems, perhaps may even go to her house to talk and she comforts him; things happen! I've seen it before many times. People may say you're insecure or very jealous if you don't allow your husband to speak to other women but if you want your marriage to work out that's what you may have to do.
Get some backbone and put your foot down. Don't let any man run you over for nothing even for the smallest reasons. This matter isn't a minor reason, its pretty serious. Its not good to have friends of the opposite sex (calling them frequently, visiting them, etc). Good luck!
2006-06-09 15:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Lily♥ 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think that you are just being insecure.A relationship should be built on honesty and TRUST.You should trust your husband fully and he has already reassured you that he loves you and only you. Has he ever cheated in the past?
You should try to get to know his friend better so you would feel more at ease and comfortable if ever he spends time with her. You never know, you might also become good friends with her :)
Good communication is the key to a happy and lasting marriage/relationship. If you still feel any doubts, you should be honest and open to your husband and explain to him what he might have done/said to make you feel threatened/jealous of his friendship with her.
2006-06-09 13:52:59 · answer #2 · answered by deb_hwan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, most of the females in this world would have doubts in such a relationship. Your jealousy may be due to any of the following reasons:
a) You feel that he may be spending very little time at home
b) You may feel that he is not too bothered with the house hold
c) He is spending too much time outside
d) He is less bothered about household spending
e) You may feel that he is not co-operative in the bed room for sex
f) He is talking too much about the old lady friend
g) Always praises her.for every thing she does
All these are only based upon apprehensions and nothing else. That you must trust your husband. You should avoid arguments and refrain from saying that you do not like that old lady. Be passionate and respect his friend. Do not question him too much. Try and adopt old techniques like going out with him for food and holiday-ing. Buy his favourites. Give him small gifts like a new purse, a new key ring. Spend more time in foreplay before having sex. Massage him after having sex and careess him. Do not utter a single nonsense word about that lady. Take special care about your husbands' likings- like your dress and his dress, his favourite food, his favoutire music. Share jokes with him. Please note that marraiges are meant not for breaking it.
YOUR HUSBAND MAY LIKE HER FOR SOMETHING ELSE AND NOT SEX. Please donot get disappointed for the simple fact that he goes there to meet her, who has three children and who happens to be a wife of someone, and she may be as possessive like you for her husband.
2006-06-09 14:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by pianist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every one gets jealous but it how you act on it that counts. If you have trust then trust him. If you don't have trust then it will eat you up so you need to ask yourself if it is or not. Then again a relationship can die fast if trust is not there. And it also can die fast if you are to jealous. It can also reverse I had alot of trust in my marriage of 17 yrs. and my ex decided he was going to become a crack head at age 50 and hang with hoes. Mine you I said EX!!!
2006-06-09 13:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by dawithr52 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can tell if there's anything going on between the two of them by the chemistry you see when they're around each other. If there's no chemistry there, nothing to worry about, or be jealous about.
2006-06-09 13:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy is just a part of a persons insecurity's .. be secure with yourself and you wont have nothing to be jealous of..
2006-06-09 15:20:44 · answer #6 · answered by purple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's legit to be jealous of an emotional attachment your husband is having w this woman. he should respect you and back off.
2006-06-09 15:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by Daniel T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you should be jealous. You dont trust him?
2006-06-10 05:23:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jason Heinze 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋